Little by Little
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Little by Little
I know I've said this a thousand times now, but I continue to become a raving fan of the concept of doing this - getting sober, cleaning up the mess, and doing the deeper work of living soberly - 'little by little' or 'one step at a time.'
It's so cliche. But it freaking works.
I've come to believe it's of paramount importance. A common thing I've both seen here and experienced is that most of us are teetering on feeling completely overwhelmed by sobriety - or rather by the emergence from dependency. If I had to guess... I think it's the root cause of almost every failed attempt. Or at least somewhere in the mix.
The biggest thing about taking things little by little, day by day, is that it's a great defense against anxiety. Here's some random thoughts & examples of how it works:
- Reading just 5 pages a day of something, done for a whole year, is 1825 pages. That's like 6 books in a year. Or at least 1 or 2 epic books in a year.
- Writing just 5 pages of something in a journal or whatever 4 days a week all year would yield 208 pages of written manuscript.
- Doing something to fix - even if very small - whatever is broken because of booze 3 times a week steadily for a whole year would result in 156 things you'd have accomplished to move yourself out of the misery.
- Increasing the number of pushups you do 3 times a week by 1 for a whole year - if you started with just 1 - would have you at 50+ pushups a day three days a week by the end of the year.
- Not drinking 1 day at a time for a whole year would have you 1 full year sober after 365 days. (Duh... :P)
The list goes on. I can't recommend it enough. If you set a goal and just work a little bit by a little bit at a time you'll have something soon enough. And if you think you're too weak or it's just too hard - think about the example of water. It doesn't break the hardest rock overnight. But give it a bit of time and consistency and it'll carve the Grand Canyon.
The best thing is it arms you with something to remind yourself of what you are working toward - and making progress on - when you are in the middle of fighting the demons of being overwhelmed by stuff. Which helps get you out of your head and out of the fear of all the stuff in your head that isn't real. It gets you focused on today, on things you CAN do and CAN control. Which is also very empowering. And that's really important for self-compassion, which we all need so badly after the abuse we've piled on ourselves for so long.
Stop trying to hit home runs. Start with base hits. Hell, bunt for awhile if you have to. But just show up everyday. And don't drink each day. Day by day it gets better. And every now and then you surprise yourself and knock it out of the park.
Best-
B
It's so cliche. But it freaking works.
I've come to believe it's of paramount importance. A common thing I've both seen here and experienced is that most of us are teetering on feeling completely overwhelmed by sobriety - or rather by the emergence from dependency. If I had to guess... I think it's the root cause of almost every failed attempt. Or at least somewhere in the mix.
The biggest thing about taking things little by little, day by day, is that it's a great defense against anxiety. Here's some random thoughts & examples of how it works:
- Reading just 5 pages a day of something, done for a whole year, is 1825 pages. That's like 6 books in a year. Or at least 1 or 2 epic books in a year.
- Writing just 5 pages of something in a journal or whatever 4 days a week all year would yield 208 pages of written manuscript.
- Doing something to fix - even if very small - whatever is broken because of booze 3 times a week steadily for a whole year would result in 156 things you'd have accomplished to move yourself out of the misery.
- Increasing the number of pushups you do 3 times a week by 1 for a whole year - if you started with just 1 - would have you at 50+ pushups a day three days a week by the end of the year.
- Not drinking 1 day at a time for a whole year would have you 1 full year sober after 365 days. (Duh... :P)
The list goes on. I can't recommend it enough. If you set a goal and just work a little bit by a little bit at a time you'll have something soon enough. And if you think you're too weak or it's just too hard - think about the example of water. It doesn't break the hardest rock overnight. But give it a bit of time and consistency and it'll carve the Grand Canyon.
The best thing is it arms you with something to remind yourself of what you are working toward - and making progress on - when you are in the middle of fighting the demons of being overwhelmed by stuff. Which helps get you out of your head and out of the fear of all the stuff in your head that isn't real. It gets you focused on today, on things you CAN do and CAN control. Which is also very empowering. And that's really important for self-compassion, which we all need so badly after the abuse we've piled on ourselves for so long.
Stop trying to hit home runs. Start with base hits. Hell, bunt for awhile if you have to. But just show up everyday. And don't drink each day. Day by day it gets better. And every now and then you surprise yourself and knock it out of the park.
Best-
B
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
I love that you're on fire for sobriety; it's so inspiring to see others who have been where I've been come out of the wreckage and rise, walking the walk and reminding us to take things in small doses. Cause one day, those small doses will be the biggest thing we've ever created. Thank you, Buckley <3
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by Hawking22 
I love that you're on fire for sobriety; it's so inspiring to see others who have been where I've been come out of the wreckage and rise, walking the walk and reminding us to take things in small doses. Cause one day, those small doses will be the biggest thing we've ever created. Thank you, Buckley <3
And here's one more great thing. You don't have to do 365 things. You just have to do 1. If you stick with that plan the results of having done 365 things start happening all by themselves....
-B
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Stop trying to hit home runs. Start with base hits. Hell, bunt for awhile if you have to. But just show up everyday. And don't drink each day. Day by day it gets better. And every now and then you surprise yourself and knock it out of the park.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I used to write posts about building a good foundation for sobriety brick by brick. its very similar. Each day I added a brick. Each day doing the next right thing. It doesn't happen over night but after awhile you step back and you've built something pretty strong. Congratulations.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Buckley, I love this thread and I love that you are a testament as to how sobriety works. I remember when you arrived here and I see how, in small but steady steps, you have grown enormously. Be very proud of yourself.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,975
Yes, sobriety can be overwhelming at times. Looking at it just one day at a time truly helps. I need to apply this principle in all areas of my life since I’m such a worry wart. Thank you!
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