I like your name, Highercall.
I think we all get a higher call from something and when we don't follow it, we suffer.
When I didn't follow mine, life became more and more painful as long as I kept ignoring it. Finally I threw in the towel, stopped fighting and was ready to follow that call that kept telling me that drinking was no way to live.
Since I didn't know how to change myself, I got help from people who could help me. It all starts with a decision and some willingness to reach out.
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today."