wynwrights

Morning all. I’m coming up on six months sober after more than twenty years of on-off alcohol abuse and I am feeling worse than I have done at any other point to date. I’m pretty sure it’s PAWS given the odd constellation of symptoms (or just plain old recovery depending on your point of view), but it’s be great to hear some of you chime in with your experiences of sobriety around this point. I don’t want to drink even though the AV will occasionally pop up to try and persuade otherwise, but I am feeling pretty gloomy and some input and/ or encouragement would be very much appreciated. Thanks!

lessgravity

6 months is awesome. I can't wait to get to where you are. I can't speak to PAWS, though I too drank for decades and am sober for the longest I've ever been. For me I think I'm realizing more very day that life is still going to be hard, tedious, stressful and filled with tragedies large and small. But don't you feel, finally, like you are giving yourself the chance to make it through with a clear head, a clear heart?

I hope you find some serious pride and strength in how far you've come. 6 months is a real accomplishment.

january161992

gratitude

grateful to have this disease that can be governed by doing a simple thing like not taking 1 drink

because its the 1st drink that gets us drunk not the 10th

imagine the joy a cancer patient might have if that disease could be stopped by doing a simple thing like not taking 1 drink

biminiblue

Six months was the last dying gasp of my addiction. It was really the last time I struggled for more than a couple minutes with wanting a drink. When I passed that actual six month mark I felt like I was going to be okay. It was likely all psychological.

At about nine months I had a real change in my anxiety levels (for the better) and I realized one day just how good things were.

Hang on. I kept getting better all through the first couple years.

Are you eating nutritious meals and getting a little exercise? How's the caffeine intake?

tekink

Hang in there! At 6 months I felt awful as well, around 7 months I could actually notice things starting to change (albeit slowly). The first year was pretty much not drinking but the second year has been completely refreshing.

PalmerSage

I just hit 7 months, and for the first time in a long time, I'm suddenly noticing beer and wine sections in the store again...my AV is making suggestions that I KNOW to be BS, but it's crazy how difficult it can be to recall just how bad things were when we were drinking. I hit similar patches at other milestones, but I did notice that when they passed, I felt stronger in my recovery and relieved that I made it through.

What are you doing to support your recovery, and what changes have you made in your life besides stopping drinking? These are the questions that I'm currently pondering, considering what tools I need to add to the things that are already working to keep me sober.

You're not alone, and you have so much support here to help you continue on this path. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk!

Berrybean

Hi. Sorry you've hit a rocky part of the path. They can be so dispiriting. Maybe stop and pause and look back at how far you've come, and remember this is all worth it.

I'd also suggest reading / rereading the Paws Article here...
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Esp the part re suggestions of things that may help. Maybe make a list of things you would be unwilling to try and anither one of things you would be willing to try. Then try one off of each list. If you're anything like me it will be the thing you least wanted to do that will help the most. Lol.

Hugs to you. Hope you find something that eases your dis-ease and suffering soon. I swear that how I felt at 6 months was just about my lowest point on my while recovery journey.

BB

gettingsmarter

The first 6 months I had the brain fog really bad. As time passed it would only come in waves. It will get better. I'm in a better place mentally now than probably any time in my life.

Also, learning to healthy ways to deal with stress helped my PAWS greatly.

Dee74

Hope you're feeling a bit better wynwrights

For me recovery means I still have bad days - but they;re no longer bad weeks, months or years...After a day or two I usually feel good again.

If this has been an ongoing thing for you tho, maybe seeing your Dr is a good idea?

D

least

I agree about seeing your doctor if it's been going on a while. Best to get checked out.

At six months I was feeling a lot better. The best thing I did for my recovery was to practice gratitude every day. It has changed my attitude for the better and has strengthened my sobriety.

AnvilheadII

six months is a huge milestone.....and as the addict brain twirls, there is this thought that hey, that wasn't so bad, if i am responding this well to not drinking MAYBE the drinking wasn't so bad......

but here is what we really know.......you did six months, you can just do it again, and boom, you gotta year. and if you get ONE year, well heck, just so it again.

build on what has worked for the past six months!

JudicatorPanzer

I am feeling the same way. I'm 4 mo sober. Not thinking about a drink, but man I'm beating myself up over the smallest things. I feel like I'm not living up to my potential and feeling worthless. I don;t know why. I can't seem to stop the negative voices in my head, telling me I'm a POS.

MindfulMan

I felt great at the end of 6 months and thought I was out of the woods.

It comes and goes in waves. But it does get better and less frequent.

At 14 months I feel great.

wynwrights

Thank you all. Some great suggestions and it’s heartening to hear that others have had dips, for want of a better word, around the six-month mark. As I’ve had some really good stretches in these six months, I’m pretty sure my current funk finds its roots in PAWS (or just the ordinary ebb and flow of physical and mental recovery from alcohol abuse), but that said: it’s just great to hear from others who have been in a similar position. Man, I did really a number on myself with the way that I drank: I should be — and I am —grateful that it’s not worse than it is!

wynwrights

Double post, sorry.

wynwrights

A POS you are not. A thorough and unflinching audit of the self is necessary, I believe, in recovering from alcohol addiction, but you have to recognize the good in yourself, too. Give yourself a chance. Recovery is hard and Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Lorax1981

At six months I started getting into the dumps and I learned about PAWS. It started getting better slowly but surely and was so worth it. I took it as a sign that my brain really was healing. Keep at it!

Gerard52

6 months is amazing well done.

SnazzyDresser

6 months sober is awesome, you're killing it. Stay focused on the big picture, your hard-won sobriety, and don't let obstacles and complications distract you. Stay on track.

Free2bme888

Wyn. I was just looking at a post you made to me on May 10 for just the day that I came onto SR.

You offered me encouraging words then, and although I relapsed about 10 days after that I am 50 something days sober now .

I too have been struggling and pretty much horizontal and wondering if I’m losing my mind the last 36 hours . Feeling tearful, wondering if I can just drink just a little bit, and being angry that I’m still constantly thinking about drinking most of the day.

I’ve no energy. Eating cr4p like hot Cheetos. Not exercising. Sad.


Ugh

Please let’s keep this up and ride the dark wave together. It will end .

It’s like a kidney stone. Slow, painful, but it will pass...