Hollydoll

I have suffered severe anxiety and depression from the age of 10 after dad died of cancer.

My mum is a recovering alcoholic but used to drink everyday when I was younger.

I got drunk for the first time with mum when I was 17 we had bothed moved to a rural area and we both felt isolated as we have no family support.

I never wanted to drink until then as I didn’t want to be like my mum.

The very first glass of wine was amazing It instantly got rid of any anxiety depression.

Not long after I was in a homeless hostel . I could no longer live with mum as she was bipolar and couldn’t cope with my drinking.

There I met an abusive ex boyfriend he was very controlling And knew he could control me with drink.

I was in that hostel for a year and a half I drAnk vodka during that time.

Now I have my own beautiful apartment and have left my ex boyfriend and me and mum are getting on better. I’ve lived here for two years,

I’m in a much better place now. I’m not drinking everyday. IDE say I’m drinking about twice a month. And I cut down from vodka to wine and am now on beer/ lager 440ml 5% . I drink about 10 cans a time so I guess I’m a binge drinker. I try not to drink in House anymore so I go out drinking instead.

I’m on waiting list for counceling also .

I take sertraline 200mg and mirtazepine 15mg.

I just wanted to share my experience and I feel alone at times it feels good to talk to someone. Even though it’s online.

Any tips for me in regards to binge drinking ?

I have been real bad with vodka in past drinking from morning I would drink 70cl a day at my worst. So I have experience if anyone wants to talk to me too

Thanks Holly x

Anna

Welcome, Holly! It sounds like you've achieved a nice place to live and reconnected with your Mom. I was a binge drinker, too, and honestly, I think it's easier to stop drinking completely than to try to moderate/monitor your drinking. I'm glad you posted and I hope you continue to read here and post.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you stop drinking for good.

Hollydoll

Thanks for replying. I am going to doctors next week to ask for new medication from doctor to help with my anxiety . I do try not to drink but my anxiety builds up . But I do agree I should try and stay off it completely x

Highercall

Drinking twice a month and drinking lager only is quite an achievement. I find I am always worse when I have mixed drinks sports/beer/cider. My behaviour is much more erratic and damaging when I drink sports.

Be careful your drinking does not creep up. It is always a dangerous situation when an alcoholic starts to believe they can handle an occasional drink.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Holly

I think you're wise to want to do something about your problem - binge drinking is dangerous and self destructive.

I really plugged myself into this community - it made a difference for me and I was able to stop drinking and turn my life around. I know we can help you too

D

Hollydoll

Thank u x

Hollydoll

Thank u x

August252015

Glad you are here.

I respectfully but absolutely disagree with HigherCall - alcohol is alcohol, and one super common way alcoholics bargain with themselves is by "changing up" their drink(s) of choice.

As Anna and Dee said....I hope you stop for good. It sounds like you, as many of us did, have seen the bad consequences of alcoholic drinking from your mom and your own. And, you have made some good life changes- perhaps like many of us, you will find that even better things can happen when you are sober to make more good choices.

Best to you - hope to see you here.

skyfullofstars

Agreed, please try and stop completely. I have wasted so much time and energy bargaining and trying to be cleverer than the drink. It just does not work.

It is like running on a stationary treadmill that, so gradually you can't even notice, gets faster and faster and faster. A waste of time, exhausting and gets you absolutely nowhere.

Please keep coming back here, these people are utterly amazing and so supportive. I've spent my entire adult life as an obnoxious, drunken trainwreck and it is not a nice reputation or existence. We are here for you

Gabe1980

Hey Holly. Lovely to meet you. I'm with Anna, it's definitely easier for me to stop than to moderate. I'm a chronic binger and have got to a place where nothing good at all comes from it. I thought I'd improved when I stopped drinking daily but, for a lot of us, drinking never becomes safe

I'm really glad you have an apartment you love and a better relationship with mum. It's a good place to get to. Gabe x

ChloeRose63

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here. You will find alot of support. Keep reading and posting.

16YearsDrunk

I watched my grandad drink all of his life. I didn't see the bad side to his drinking until it was so bad we watched him die from his abuse. Same happened to my uncle when I was 18. You'd think that's enough to put anyone off but I still excused my drinking. At one point I even accepted I had the alcoholic trait and that's just how it was.

I think you already recognise you've had problems with drinking. I discovered alcohol in a similar way. I've tried moderation. It always ... and I mean always ... ends up back at square one.

It's no coincidence why you're here Do you have any struggles when you cut out alcohol completely?

RoverVA

I have denied for many years that I don't have a problem, but now I understand how this disease works. I am here to quit completely, one day at a time.

MindfulMan

I agree with the posters that quitting completely will probably do you far more good. Moderating is a constant negotiation with alcohol, which I find exhausting and anxiety provoking. My anxiety decreased by a TON when I completely stopped drinking, and I didn't realize how completely it had changed for at least 90 days after stopping....and it has continued to improve to where I am, now 14 months sober. I found that my medication needs were far less without alcohol in the picture in general.

I ABSOLUTELY needed a medical detox, and was on a valium taper in an inpatient setting for my initial sobriety period. I cannot take benzos, as they are even more addictive to me than alcohol, cause cross-tolerance, and act on a lot of the same receptors as alcohol. However, they are useful in the short term.

You might ask your doctor for some non-medication techniques to deal with anxiety, particularly after you've detoxed completely from alcohol. Cognitive behavioral therapy is extremely useful, as is mindfulness and meditation. Journaling can also help. Psychotherapy in general can work through some underlying issues you might have.

My life is so much better, less anxious, and manageable without alcohol to the point where there isn't a chance in hell I will ever take another drink.

Hollydoll

I can stay off it for two weeks but then I really crave that buz from drink. I actually went out Sunday with my mum and I ended up drinking beer for 24 hour binge I ended up with my abusive ex boyfriend house and me and mother argued because of this . I do agree I need to stay of it completely. It’s madness really thinking I can drink normally as I have tried for years to do so x

brighterday1234

I’m an alcoholic. The only way to make sure I don’t binge is to not take the first drink. It works and it’s given me a wonderful life with peace of mind.