WillLee13

My sobriety is intact and strong. However I feel everything else is not. I’m still feeling affected from my rock bottom 9 months ago.

I am in A.A. do service work, follow the program to a T and I am loving it. I don’t feel any danger towards my sobriety other than my recovery after.

I wanna start by stating that I have no alcohol cravings but am very aware of how easy a temptation is there. I came off huge relapses that occurred twice in a month and both led to more than a week hospitalization each time. This was October of last year and went down as my 5th and 6th time in a behavioral unit for my alcoholism. However my hospital visits alone rack up over twenty times for either withdrawal or suicide attempts.

This last time I was approached by a member of A.A. and I took to the program full force because it was the last house on the block and I had to try anything. After all the white knuckle attempts I have finally found my place and I am having a healthy sobriety.

I never had any real treatment for my very aggressive alcoholism. AA is helping me be and stay sober. However now I have to face my severe co-dependacy, this rock bottom, along with other issues. Hitting rock bottom and facing it sober is a whole new venture. I am feeling emotions I never felt. So I gotta face those as well.

Would rehab still be a good option, if I feel my sobriety is ok but feel I think there’s more treatment needed?
Will
*****By the way I didn’t realize how much I typed sometimes I just gotta do that...

Dee74

Hi Will

Others who know better than me will confirm this but unless a rehab is dual diagnosis and it also treats other things like mental illness, most rehabs will have a specific focus where the intended end result is you don't drink anymore.

If you're concerned about codependency - and especially if you have any kind of persistent suicidal or violent ideations (or you fear a return to those things) I think a doctor. counselor, or therapist is probably a good start?

D

PeacefulWater12

Al-anon was a fantastic help with my co-dependency. It can run alongside my AA very nicely.

Is common for people to attend more than one 12 step meeting. In my home meeting there are many of us who attend several.

Gottalife

Alanon could be very useful. Also I have seen huge changes in alcoholics, many years sober, who came from alcoholic families who went to ACOA, adult chilfren of aloholics.

How many guys are you sponsoring? That may also have a bearing.

WillLee13

Thank you guys. I’m not sponsoring at all. My service work in the program is a very simple position and I attend quite a few meetings. I just noticed in my personal life that I still hold on to some old tendencies. I’m doing fine now but don’t want an issue later.

entropy1964

With respect to co-dependence, are you are referring to a relationship with a spouse or partner? If so I would recommend couples counseling as opposed to addiction rehab.

biminiblue

I came into Recovery because of my codependency. Learning about it was such a revelation for me.

I wouldn't think rehab is the place for dealing with it.

What I did is read (seemingly) every book ever written about it, and about general self-help and spirituality. I particularly got a lot out of, "The Dance of Anger."

There is also on this site a "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" section and lots of great sticky posts. That alone will keep you busy for a couple days. It's not just being enmeshed with alcoholics that is harmful. Over-connection with anyone can cause problems.

Clickety: Friends and Family of Alcoholics

tomsteve

glad youre here,will.
i cant say whether rehab would help or not but i know one thing quite common for alcoholics:
impatience. we want to be fixed NOW.however, rehab, psychiatrists, AA,AlAnon,or whatever combination- it doesnt work that way.
we have to give the process time.

not saying the steps of AA and AlAnon will definately solve all of your problems, but they can help a lot. seems AA has been helping with the alcoholism, so why not add AlAnon and find out?

WillLee13

Thanks for that. Maybe that’s what I needed to be reminded. See I know these things but I second guess my self... or maybe I just wanna talk. I know (for me) alcohol is such a “quick” fix. When I felt like this before a couple of drinks and a new feeling was introduced.

I think what’s really different for me is have to go through that emotion rather than avoid it. The steps help me a lot. I just believe I need to get outta my situation and I may be looking for the “go head” subconsciously from people I talk to.

How ever I have got to face this and answer it with my own answers. Like I said my sobriety is good, I just don’t know if I’m missing a certain part.... or what. Maybe just a rambling.

WillLee13

Thank you so much, it helps just being here and talking

tomsteve

that was quite new to me for everything in life. i drank to (try and) stop feelings/emotions, so everything that brought on feelings emotions( like breathing ) was not something i had felt without being polluted to some extent. ALL of it was new and i had to go through it,too. not only go through the feelings/emotions, but also the actions of changing.
i still find it amazing how going over the mountain worked so much better than going around the mountian and ending up in the same spot over and over.

Eddiebuckle

I went to a therapist for about a year and a half after I got sober. I found it helpful to talk to him about things that didn't necessarily "fit" in what people discuss in AA. As it says in the big book, our drinking was but a symptom. I believe that is true, and even the best of sponsors are not capable of covering all the things that we bring to the rooms when we arrive.

WillLee13

Awesome! Thank you everyone I really appreciate all this.

Gottalife

I thinkl that might be worth a look. Many people think that the more time you have up, the safer you are. This isn't necessarily so. We are told this up front in the Big Book. Our recovery depends upon constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. 'Faith without works is dead" If we are not working with others we will not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead.

I have had periods of not sponsoring. I didn't always connect that with how I was feeling, and I even went to the extent of seeing a psycholigist to try and find out why I felt undeserving, and off. I imagined there might have been some repressed memory issue. There wasn't.

Strangely, whenever I got to working with others, I felt much better.

Then one of life's low spots came along, my wife became ill and died. right at the same time a friend's husband also received a terminal diagnosis. She drank immediately. I got through the whole deal without the thought of a drink coming to mind.

A few years before, another friend, Zac, picked up out of the blue. He was 10 years sober and a popular guy. He was secretary of the Saturday night meeting for years. Despite the best efforts of his many AA friends, he never got back. He was dead in three months.

I got chatting with the woman whose husband died to see if we could find what went wrong. Why were our reactions so different? Was there a common theme? She and Zac did way more meetings than me. Neither had been particularly strong on the steps and, it turns out, neither had ever sponsored anyone.

This was against my experience of being regular at my home group, having worked and continuing to work the 12 steps, and sponsoring a couple of guys. Not breaking any records, just steadily working away at maintaining my spiritual conditon. I did this without thought, right through my wife's illness and only later did I discover the passage in the Big Book about not surviving the certain low spots ahead.

There is only so much a sponsor can teach, only so much to be learnt by listening to others. My learning for many years now has come from working with others. It is said that the best way to learn is to try and teach. Everytime I take someone through the steps, I go through them myself and deepen the experience.

The most profound experience I had in this regard was when I reluctantly sponsored a woman. We got straight into the step work and it immediately became apparent I didn't know as much as I thought. That woman made me work and I learned so much from her and through her. She really helped me find another level in recovery. A sponsor doesn't have the power to do that, but sponsees do.

There are those in AA who like to put restrictions on when you can do something - "you can't sponsor anyone till you are sober a year" etc. Its not in the book. Page 129 gives an indication of when we should be working with others:

" Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics. During those first days of convalescence, this will do more to insure his sobriety than anything else."

There is plenty more about working with others being essential to permanent recovery.

MindfulMan

Are you in any kind of psychotherapy, or medically treating your dual diagnosis?

Delilah1

I would definitely look into therapy, or make an appointment with your doctor to see what kind of treatment options are available.

bluesymusey

There's some solid advice here. I'm a big believer in therapy and also reading for many obvious reasons, including getting out of your own head and replacing frazzled thoughts with positive ones.

There's a fantastic book on co-dependency by Melody Beattie. I believe it's called Co-dependency No More.

Reading, for me personally has become an additional & important tool in my ever growing arsenal. After all, we could use all the help we can get, eh?

Best wishes!

PhoenixJ

lots of great advice here.

I am saying the following about me only..
What do you get when a very depressed drunk with PTSD, major depression, burns and fatigue syndrome stops drinking>

A sober, very depressed person with.......
I NEED professional help- to guide and advise me.

Support to you