Radix

I'm at Day 10, and I'm realizing that out of habit, I'm still asking myself every morning, "am I going to be hungover today?"

I used to wake up feeling tired and bad, but I wouldn't be able to tell until I was almost at work whether I was actually hungover or not. In retrospect, those "hangovers" were probably withdrawal symptoms, and I needed to wait until my BAL dropped off before they would show up. And that happened some time in the mid-morning.

So I would wake up, shower, get ready for work, and start my commute, the whole time wondering "how am I going to feel today?" And then the hangover, or withdrawal, or whatever it was, would hit, or it wouldn't, and I'd know that another day was ruined, or wasn't.

And either way, it enabled more drinking.

If I was feeling the effects, then alcohol after work would cheer me up. And if I was feeling "normal," then I could drink because I hadn't hurt myself the night before. Or something like that.

Anyway, it's Day 10 today, and I still asked myself this morning, "am I going to be hungover today?" And then I reminded myself: no, you're doing well. You're going to feel clean and refreshed. It will be a good day. (Well, I hope so, anyway. The only certainty is that I'm not going to be withdrawing or hungover.)

Still craving at night, but not giving in. Feeling good in the morning is too valuable.

Chase01

Waking up sober is such an amazing feeling. Just think, you don't ever have to wake up hungover again. Congratulations on 10 days. Double digits! All that drunkenness and pain is in the past.

Radix

Thanks. It's double digits, for the first time in double-digit years(!) as well. Seriously, this is the longest I've gone without drinking in at least 10 years.

Feeling quite empowered and happy.

lessgravity

Congrats on the sober time, excellent work. I also know that feeling of waking up and wondering. Had a few drunk dreams the other week and woke up similarly.

Man does it feel good when you realize you are clear, clean and sober eh?

Bonnefond87

Had some sort of virus recently and felt awful one morning. I thought, for a moment, I can't drive I'm still drunk/hungover. It was the best feeling, true joy, when it was just the bug. No hangover, no guilt, churning insides, hot sweats. Just clean and fresh each morning.

Lizajane

Radix,
We only realize how much alcohol was bringing us down when we spend time without it. Look forward to feeling even better and sleeping more deeply as you heal from the damage alcohol has caused. Good luck and enjoy your clear head!

halvso

You are so inspiring, Radix! Keep up the good work

Renvate

woke today around 40-day mark, with the first thought of "omg , hungover again!"

then it took me about 5 seconds to process that I am actually not, and haven't been for a while.

Tonymblue

That story sounds like a page out of my life. Congratulations on day 10.

Rar

Congratulations on Day 10. . You're so right! Waking up sober never gets old - that and not waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety. I still wake up, but without that awful anxious feeling.

Dee74

Congrats Radix

D

rascalwhiteoak

That was my experience too, and now it's kind of mortifying to think of how many times I allowed that to happen. Monday morning following a boozy weekend was the worst.

DontRemember

Oh yeah! I'm sure I've driven after a 'night out' and was still over the legal limit the next morning.