Trying for a sober birthday and a sober life
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
CaraLara - sober is the new black made me laugh. Love it lol
wiseheart - that tiny cabin in the woods sounds soooo wonderful. what a beautiful, peaceful way to spend your birthday
Willow - you know, you could employ some of our highly developed sneaky ways for getting alcohol into a sneaky way for avoiding it. For instance I've poured tea into the rum bottle to make it look full. water into the vodka bottle and apple juice looks a bit like beer. You could also empty out a six pack and fill them with near-beer. Nobody would be the wiser and you could relax and enjoy with no worries. Gotta protect your health and inner peace at all costs. Especially so early in your sobriety. Whatever it takes!
wiseheart - that tiny cabin in the woods sounds soooo wonderful. what a beautiful, peaceful way to spend your birthday
Willow - you know, you could employ some of our highly developed sneaky ways for getting alcohol into a sneaky way for avoiding it. For instance I've poured tea into the rum bottle to make it look full. water into the vodka bottle and apple juice looks a bit like beer. You could also empty out a six pack and fill them with near-beer. Nobody would be the wiser and you could relax and enjoy with no worries. Gotta protect your health and inner peace at all costs. Especially so early in your sobriety. Whatever it takes!
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi yinzer, yep I’m stocking up on cranberry juice and soda water, plus some non-alcoholic wine that’s really just yummy grape juice 😊
Thanks Rar, I just got up and starting day 12. It’s 7.30am Friday here in 0z. I know the AV will be hounding me, along with a couple of heavy drinking friends who always encourage everyone to drink. A lot. But I’m stronger than them. I’m glad I started before my birthday and didn’t wait till my actual birthday because I’m feeling so much better and stronger now. I’m not going to wake up with a hangover!
Thanks luvsoberlife, great idea 😊 although the time zones are different people still seem to post at various times
Yes rjyerkes, I’ve been thinking about that. I managed 2 low key social occasions last week by only staying for 2 hours (I don’t have that option this time but I can plead sick and go to bed if it gets too much). But I also took a bottle of non-alcoholic grape juice that looks like wine and nobody knew I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Part of me wants to be up front, but this early I know the pressure from friends to “go on it’s your birthday, yo’ve gotta have a celebratory drink with us” added to the AV might be a bit much. I’m wondering if maybe I should just pretend to drink to get through this and then I can come clean about it at a later time when I’m stronger perhaps ..... It feels dishonest, but I’ve been lying about drinking so long, maybe lying about not drinking just to get through this event is ok. I’m a bit torn between honesty and survival. But when I put it like that, I think I’d have to pick survival. I’ve already told the 3 closet people to me that I’m not drinking. Sadly one wasn’t impressed at all and hopes I’ll change my mind and drink! But the other 2 said it’s my choice (of course it’s my choice) but they’ll be drinking.
Sober is the new black! ! ! 😊 (thanks Cara)
Thanks Rar, I just got up and starting day 12. It’s 7.30am Friday here in 0z. I know the AV will be hounding me, along with a couple of heavy drinking friends who always encourage everyone to drink. A lot. But I’m stronger than them. I’m glad I started before my birthday and didn’t wait till my actual birthday because I’m feeling so much better and stronger now. I’m not going to wake up with a hangover!
Thanks luvsoberlife, great idea 😊 although the time zones are different people still seem to post at various times
Yes rjyerkes, I’ve been thinking about that. I managed 2 low key social occasions last week by only staying for 2 hours (I don’t have that option this time but I can plead sick and go to bed if it gets too much). But I also took a bottle of non-alcoholic grape juice that looks like wine and nobody knew I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Part of me wants to be up front, but this early I know the pressure from friends to “go on it’s your birthday, yo’ve gotta have a celebratory drink with us” added to the AV might be a bit much. I’m wondering if maybe I should just pretend to drink to get through this and then I can come clean about it at a later time when I’m stronger perhaps ..... It feels dishonest, but I’ve been lying about drinking so long, maybe lying about not drinking just to get through this event is ok. I’m a bit torn between honesty and survival. But when I put it like that, I think I’d have to pick survival. I’ve already told the 3 closet people to me that I’m not drinking. Sadly one wasn’t impressed at all and hopes I’ll change my mind and drink! But the other 2 said it’s my choice (of course it’s my choice) but they’ll be drinking.
Sober is the new black! ! ! 😊 (thanks Cara)
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks D these are great
Originally Posted by Dee74 
My best birthdays have all been sober ones
I guess its hard not to do anything for your birthday, especially if others have made plans for you - but it is possible to stay sober.
There are some great tips here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
The bottom line is - its your birthday - do what you want.
The other thing to remember is - its the first drink that restarts the madness , not the last.
Don't take that first drink - make your 50th special
D
I guess its hard not to do anything for your birthday, especially if others have made plans for you - but it is possible to stay sober.
There are some great tips here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)
The bottom line is - its your birthday - do what you want.
The other thing to remember is - its the first drink that restarts the madness , not the last.
Don't take that first drink - make your 50th special
D
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Join Date: May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 104
rjyerkes - Lol! Yes if we could bottle our collective sneaky, devious ingenuity and use it for good, we could solve world peace. 
willow68 - thank you for your warm wishes. I also love luvsoberlife's suggestion. I will definitely be looking for your posts when I return!
willow68 - thank you for your warm wishes. I also love luvsoberlife's suggestion. I will definitely be looking for your posts when I return!
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Originally Posted by Distorted Me
You got this Willow!
Maybe you can start a Willow's birthday party support thread the morning of the big day and use it as a support tool throughout the day. We're all going to be thinking about you anyway and we're going to worry if we don't hear much from you. It might be cool to post every so often on how you're doing and, in turn, get messages of support throughout the day from us.
If you end up locking yourself away, you'll know exactly where to look for support. It will be like having some of us near by you all day to communicate with. We are definitely stronger together.
Just a thought.
Maybe you can start a Willow's birthday party support thread the morning of the big day and use it as a support tool throughout the day. We're all going to be thinking about you anyway and we're going to worry if we don't hear much from you. It might be cool to post every so often on how you're doing and, in turn, get messages of support throughout the day from us.
If you end up locking yourself away, you'll know exactly where to look for support. It will be like having some of us near by you all day to communicate with. We are definitely stronger together.
Just a thought.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Distorted me, this may sound a bit silly, but I just had an epiphany! About how distorted my mental functioning really is when drinking. I was reading back through posts and I automatically assumed I’d made a mistake when I responded to luvsoberlife, because I was always making mistakes when drinking... Then I remembered that I was actually sober for a change and realised I hadn’t been mistaken. The key being that I’ve become so used to making mistakes about everything when wine sozzled that it’s become “normal” for me to 1. make mistakes all the time and 2. Instantly assume I’ve made mistakes because of 1. But that’s so far from normal. No more wine sozzled mistakes for me. I can make enough mistakes sober without exponentially increasing it by drinking lol
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Willow,
I relate so much to posting while drunk.
I posted a cpl things on here that I couldn't delete due to the 15 min timer and the next day was nervous to even come back lol. Miraculously those posts were not as bad as I thought and were even well received and helpful to some people. Praise the Lord
I'm sick enough the next day anyway and then the fuzzy snippets of happily typing away on the laptop come thru and I panic. I dread looking. It's like having another personality that I constantly have to do damage control for. It's exhausting
I'm worried that your friends aren't supporting you right now. The 3 people closest to you seem like they're not taking you seriously yet so perhaps it would be best to pretend to drink for this one time? I hate lying too and I'm not very good at it but being so early in your sobriety maybe it's best?
People hate it when we change. They fear it. It all comes down to their own insecurities. If you decide to stand your ground and say to everyone that this is the new you at 50 and some protest...just remember that those are probably the ones who know, deep down, they have a problem and are afraid you'll judge them from a sober perspective. "So come on! Get drunk with us!" They'll have to fight their own battles.
You might have one or two peeps that join you in being sober though and admire your strength. There's always one or two people that don't drink and enjoy talking to another sober person at parties.
I relate so much to posting while drunk.
I posted a cpl things on here that I couldn't delete due to the 15 min timer and the next day was nervous to even come back lol. Miraculously those posts were not as bad as I thought and were even well received and helpful to some people. Praise the Lord
I'm sick enough the next day anyway and then the fuzzy snippets of happily typing away on the laptop come thru and I panic. I dread looking. It's like having another personality that I constantly have to do damage control for. It's exhausting
I'm worried that your friends aren't supporting you right now. The 3 people closest to you seem like they're not taking you seriously yet so perhaps it would be best to pretend to drink for this one time? I hate lying too and I'm not very good at it but being so early in your sobriety maybe it's best?
People hate it when we change. They fear it. It all comes down to their own insecurities. If you decide to stand your ground and say to everyone that this is the new you at 50 and some protest...just remember that those are probably the ones who know, deep down, they have a problem and are afraid you'll judge them from a sober perspective. "So come on! Get drunk with us!" They'll have to fight their own battles.
You might have one or two peeps that join you in being sober though and admire your strength. There's always one or two people that don't drink and enjoy talking to another sober person at parties.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone 😊
Thanks Rjyerkes 😊 I have decided to drink my “fake” wine and most people will be none the wiser.... you’re right, the ones that protest the loudest are those that drink the most.... I am feeling strong this morning 💪 and intend to resist efforts to get me drunk (there will be efforts made I’m sure).
I just got up, it’s 7am here in Oz, the start of day 13 and my birthday party is tonight and my last day of being 49 years old (my actual birthday is tomorrow/Sunday). Thanks to everyone here I’m feeling so much more positive and confident about staying sober today. You’re all amazingly supportive and you’re right, it’s MY choice to stay sober.
When I joined SR I was feeling like I would cave in to the AV, but I’ve realised I wasn’t fully committed to staying sober. Sure I wanted to, but the AV had it’s sneaky tentacles in my mind telling me it didn’t matter if I caved in, I could drink and always start again the next day.... But I can now see that so much more clearly! What an insidious and ruthless thing the AV is. Now that I see more clearly I’m more committed to staying sober today and always.
I’m off to a yoga class this morning (I’m so looking forward to it). I’ll check in later 😊
Thanks Rjyerkes 😊 I have decided to drink my “fake” wine and most people will be none the wiser.... you’re right, the ones that protest the loudest are those that drink the most.... I am feeling strong this morning 💪 and intend to resist efforts to get me drunk (there will be efforts made I’m sure).
I just got up, it’s 7am here in Oz, the start of day 13 and my birthday party is tonight and my last day of being 49 years old (my actual birthday is tomorrow/Sunday). Thanks to everyone here I’m feeling so much more positive and confident about staying sober today. You’re all amazingly supportive and you’re right, it’s MY choice to stay sober.
When I joined SR I was feeling like I would cave in to the AV, but I’ve realised I wasn’t fully committed to staying sober. Sure I wanted to, but the AV had it’s sneaky tentacles in my mind telling me it didn’t matter if I caved in, I could drink and always start again the next day.... But I can now see that so much more clearly! What an insidious and ruthless thing the AV is. Now that I see more clearly I’m more committed to staying sober today and always.
I’m off to a yoga class this morning (I’m so looking forward to it). I’ll check in later 😊
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Join Date: May 2018
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Originally Posted by rjyerkes
People hate it when we change. They fear it. It all comes down to their own insecurities. If you decide to stand your ground and say to everyone that this is the new you at 50 and some protest...just remember that those are probably the ones who know, deep down, they have a problem and are afraid you'll judge them from a sober perspective. "So come on! Get drunk with us!" They'll have to fight their own battles.
You might have one or two peeps that join you in being sober though and admire your strength. There's always one or two people that don't drink and enjoy talking to another sober person at parties.
You might have one or two peeps that join you in being sober though and admire your strength. There's always one or two people that don't drink and enjoy talking to another sober person at parties.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by Willow68
Sooooo here goes, I’m getting armed with a full glass of non-alcoholic wine ready to do battle with the AV and all the drinking well-wishers..... I’m going to enjoy myself with sparkling grape juice 🙂
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Thanks rjyerkes and D 😊 4 hours in an I’ve drank a bottle and a bit of alcohol free wine! Only my sister knows I’m drinking grape juice and she’s been awesome. Everyone is lovely and having fun. A few drunk friends have already gone home (thankfully). I’ve been given lots of lovely presents and 5 bottles of yummy wine!! (Which I won’t be drinking).
Thanks for your support, I couldn’t do it without you all on SR!
Thanks for your support, I couldn’t do it without you all on SR!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by Willow68
Distorted me, this may sound a bit silly, but I just had an epiphany! About how distorted my mental functioning really is when drinking. I was reading back through posts and I automatically assumed I’d made a mistake when I responded to luvsoberlife, because I was always making mistakes when drinking... Then I remembered that I was actually sober for a change and realised I hadn’t been mistaken. The key being that I’ve become so used to making mistakes about everything when wine sozzled that it’s become “normal” for me to 1. make mistakes all the time and 2. Instantly assume I’ve made mistakes because of 1. But that’s so far from normal. No more wine sozzled mistakes for me. I can make enough mistakes sober without exponentially increasing it by drinking lol
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