Crayg

Hello all Ive been going through a lot of forums lately trying to understand what is going on with my body and mind and havent really seen the light until i got home last night from watching deadpool 2 ( wasnt as great as the first imo ) everything started about a month ago leading up to and continuing after my 21st birthday. being in a fraternity means I drink quite a bit on the weekends and even through the week because I love getting on the computer with my friends and drinking while I play games. well I turned 21 in april so I just went crazy with the availability to buy alcohol whenever and I was drinking pretty frequently when I would get home from work and get drunk and have a good time on the computer. then about three weeks ago I went and saw Avengers infinity war and cam ehome to have a good night on the computer like I usually do when I turned to a bottle of moonshine and binged on it. I woke up the next morning feeling like crap but noting was out of the normal until a few days later I started having mad anxiety attacks and sever foggy headedness. It was way out of the normal for me because im not usually an anxious person. I was always a confident guy. these attacks come in swings that last a few days. usually not too bad in the morning but then progress through the day usually when I hit certain triggers especially at work. I work retention for a TV company so you could only imagine. my mind has been constantly racing wondering whats wrong with me and and it got pretty hard to go to work and deal with the swings of foggynes. Im always googling what could possibly be wrong until last night I stumbled upon this website and read some posts about PAWS and it all makes sense now. word for word what these people describe I am going through myself. Reading through the comments i see great support for a lot of people going through this. I just wanted to make this post to share how happy I am to have found a great place to vent and relate with a lot of people. Heres to three weeks and a long ride ahead but I will make it!

Verdantia

Welcome, Crayg. PAWS is a real phemonema and for me it was good to understand why I felt so bad. It will get better. SR is a wonderful place for advice and support and I am very glad you are here.
Brilliant on three weeks, and I wish you all the best on your sober journey.

Crayg

Thank you so much, it helps to hear it gets better!

D122y

Crayg,

imo....paws is on the road to insanity.

I don't believe I would make it out of another relapse.

I believe at some point the paws becomes permanent.

Folks just lose their mind.

Thanks.

Justin61571

I'm sitting right at 80 days of sobriety after roughly 12-15 years of abuse. The struggle with paws is for real. Whoever said paws is on the road to insanity is correct.

D122y

Justine,

Imo...80 days is way past the physical addiction. Awesome.

After that it was like my mind was an exposed nerve, off and on, for well over a year.

I still suffer even though i have all of this clean time.

I am pretty sure it happens to everyone in some form after a certain limit is breached.

A relapse would be like playing mental suicide roulette.

Thanks.

Crayg

Gotta say guys that I know this stuff comes in waves and everything but since ive been on here reading ive felt a lot more relaxed and when I do feel a flare up its not too bad. I feel like mine is mostly paranoia induced. I quit my job today and went back to an old job that I had because I know it will be a lot better for me in the long run to have a more relaxing job. Higher pay doesn't always mean better work. The support on this board is amazing.