Ghoster18

I love this thread.
In spite of myself and my crazy addictive struggles!
Something all powerful and all loving is definitely looking after me!
The fact that this thread is even here for me to contribute to is God communicating to me!
All I need to do is let go and let God run my life!!
Thanks.
G

entropy1964

Such a great question Horn.

I was not raised with religion. My Mom always wanted to go to 'midnight mass' but my father said it was hypocritical of him because he was a Godless man. My Mom just wanted to look good.

I have always sought something....the meaning of life, my relationship with the universe, my meaning and purpose. So I guess I'm lucky in that I am neither soured on religion or fervently religious. I'm a clean slate.

But I simply cannot believe in the Gods of the 3 prominent religions. I don't buy any of it. Its good reading (I took 3 classes at Uni on the bible as literature because it was taught by my fav prof....) but that's about it.

I have tried to 'fake it till I make it' but I simply do not believe I have a spiritual malady for which there is 'A' spiritual solution (that one is God, may you find him (of course) now). Nope. I have an addiction that is soul crushing when active.

Soooo Gawd/God. I have a belief that the Universe is vast and powerful and that mankind plays some kind of role. I believe that I have absolutely no way, in my utter minuteness, to understand that. And I don't need to. I am powerless over so much and that's ok. I don't need to believe that some other power 'has my back' or 'has control over what I don't'. Its ok. I don't need to believe that I will somehow 'perpetuate' after I die. That thought makes no sense to me. I'm dead. Big whoop. The world will not care. So what I do, right here, right now, is all that matters.

The spiritual is in my child, like LG said. Bimini shared in another post that acts of kindness are, I don't remember what she said, but to me they are spiritual. Anvilhead said the other day, some poetic words about simply observing the beauty of a sunrise. Or something like that

One of the questions I struggled with, after finally understanding what spiritual was to me, was how does the divine work through me? I used to listen to people in AA and think, ok, when I pray there should be some feeling? Or the group of AA is my God or whatever was being said. None of that worked for me. I realized that not only do I define my own understanding of the spiritual, but I decide how that greater entity/entities communicate to me. That can be other people (who hasn't had someone walk up to them and tell them they will pray for them....ok maybe not that many, but I have. And I wasn't drunk) or the joy of my damn dog. He is always fricken happy. My angry cat. And when I learn to do something differently than I have been doing it, over and over.....to the detriment of my serenity. When I learn to accept others just as they are. When I learn to look in the mirror and not see a little old lady but a vibrant human. When I learn to pause and simply do something better, or nothing at all. When I go against my addict nature. That is god working through me. There are moments of grace happening all around me. But only sober me can see them.....

Porcetta

A fictional character didn't get us into this mess and it's not going to get us out.

Horn95

The people I have spoken to at AA swear by it (no pun intended).

Bubovski

I like the term' Higher Power' . It does not speculate a highest state of being or perfection.
To me, 'highest' or 'perfection' suggests a stagnation of sorts, devoid of creativity.
In our worldly existence we see a lot of evil and misery, but we also see acts of goodness and compassion.
In the Big Cosmic Picture, which seems largely beyond our comprehension, there may well be higher powers directed towards betterment, and we may be part of this... Who knows?

lessgravity

Thanks for this one!

icewater1961

I am a practicing Roman Catholic. I like my rituals and the priests are very educated and will always be there for me. They have visited me at rehab and mental hospital. Having said that I am open minded, it really maybe does not matter if you are Buddhist or agnostic, but I firmly believe that there is something bigger than us. My grandmothers dad was Jewish but I did not even know that until recently. I think meditation and spirituality can be helpful to us alcoholics.

icewater1961

This is pretty funny. I was in the looney bin aka rehab and then a worker comes around and asks "who ordered a Catholic priest?" I was, like, it could be me. Father Francis had been sitting there for two hours to meet with me! And driven an hour and half one way. Some people do care.

Horn95

Right. Not just one fictional character got us here. The many fictional characters we dreamt up while drinking got us here.

thomas11

I guess I should rephrase my original post. I don't "know" persay, but it is my strong belief is that there is a creator and/or higher power. If you really want to know how I came to this conclusion, PM me.

Dee74

Hi Horn

When I first got sober I had no faith in myself, but I did just fine with the GOD (Group of Drunks) thing.

Seeing the SR regulars post here every day day after day helping people was indicative of some kind of goodness of spirit that was surely much greater than I was alone.

D

tomsteve

if youre going to choose a fictional character as your HP, no, probably wont help at all.

awuh1

I have a suggestion Horn95. Why don't you ask directly It worked for me
Several years ago I posted this. Perhaps you will find something in it useful.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...xperience.html (Having had a spiritual experience)

lessgravity

Including the one of me where I could drink and live a life I was proud of. Ha - fiction!!

least

My conception of God.

Bubovski

I sometimes go to Mass. I did my 5th step with the local priest. whom I found very compassinate and open. His brother died of a drug overdose.
I too believe in something much higher than us, and for the good. My grandad was Jewish and I believe values can be found in all religions.