Wastinglife

I am on Day 1. A long journey ahead of me. I really have no choice but to quit for good. My life has been in shambles for a decade. I suppose I have always had a sense of 'terminal uniqueness' in that I sometimes think my problems can't be fixed and no one understands what I am going through. I suffer from ADHD and anxiety and alcohol provides instant relief. However, I am very reckless in my behaviour when I am drinking and my decision-making is extremely damaging.

There isn't much I haven't destroyed. Career, finances, every single relationship. I have no assests and pretty much no poessesions, not even clothes. If not for my family, I would be homeless. Even homeless people have more money and clothes than me. I manipulate my family for money and spend it on booze and I feel endless guilt when I sober up. ADHD has wreaked havoc on me and I can't even folow the treatment plan because I abuse the meds. I am an addict in general.

I have had 3 different periods of sobriety over 6 months since I got out of rehab 7 years ago. I keep turning back to booze because I don't see hope.

I need to find some reason for hope to stay sober. I am practically unemployable which weighs heavily on me. I spent 99 percent of my time alone with nothing to do. Hopelessness is my only companion. That's why I drink.

How does one find hope in such a bleak situation? Where did you find hope?

Buckley3

I'll just pass along advice I've been given and am trying to stick to.

Don't worry about forever. Worry about today and maybe tomorrow. Just don't drink.

Quit saying negative things to yourself, it's hard, especially if you are convinced you deserve it (which you don't). But there's absolutely nothing good to come from it.

Rinse and repeat. I'm told it gets better and I believe it.

J50

There is no hope when we fill ourselves with a depressant, plus we already know where that road takes us.

Sobriety can be scary, but the posts from those who have abstained long term are filled with promise, hope, and fulfilment.

We can achieve all of it if we let go and have faith in the process.

It's never too late!

least

The catch 22 is that you have to be sober for a while before hope comes back. When I was newly sober I was distressed cause I still didn't feel happy.

At about 3 months sober it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. At least one thing you're grateful for, no matter how small. And being grateful can make you happier.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

Berrybean

I found hope in listening to others talk. They shared their experiences, strength and hope with me when I had none to keep me going. Here and in AA meetings.

BB

SoberLeigh

When I began my sober journey, I had nothing left inside me. I was an empty shell.

Sobriety and recovery returned my soul.

Stay sober; stay close; work on your recovery. Trust in the process even when the benefits are not yet clear. Hope will manifest itself in time. I promise.

Berrybean

Just spotted this on Earl Hightowers Facebook page and thought of this thread...

It’s True

When I stopped drinking, everything hurt. My body, my brain and my heart. I couldn’t see any way that was going to ever change. Once again, I was wrong. There was a whole world out there. A world with a totally different approach to life that made all things possible. I just had to follow a few simple steps. Walking those first few miles on this new path was agony. The pain of my experience was mitigated only by the look in a few peoples eyes that led me to believe that they had some answers. I kept going. Slowly, things got better. One day I looked inside and the joy was no longer in their eyes; it was in me.

I pray that you stay on the path until that day becomes yours.

Love,
E

Dee74

Reading the Stories of Recovery forum might be a good start
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/

I was beyond hope. I had no reason to see more than 5 years left to my life, if I was lucky...but somehow something in me fought against that - I got sober, and with the help of this community - helping others and being helped - I made it 30 days, then 60, 90, 6 months, a year, 2 years, 5 years...soon I'll be 11 years sober.

Things have never looked better for me.

There really is life after drinking, a lot of joy and a deep well spring of hope WL

D

August252015

Aa

FreeOwl

If I were in your place, I’d go to every AA meeting I could. I’d spend my other time on here, I’d go volunteer at a homeless shelter, I’d go on walks.... I’d watch sunrises to remind myself of a power greater than myself. I’d ask that power to be of help to me in my sobriety. I’d do steps. I’d find a sponsor. I’d keep at it and I’d hold faith that by acting in honor of sobriety it would get better, bit by bit. Because I’d know there IS hope because I’ve seen it happen... you can. You can turn it arobud and rebuild your life. Starting from now.

SnazzyDresser

I remember you from our June 2016 class, wastinglife. Sorry to hear of your troubles and current despair. I found that a lot of what I needed to get me thru the hard times was already in my mind but so tangled up that I didn't have ready access to it.

Nonsensical

Funny word Hope
It isn't just a noun.
It's also a verb.
It isn't just something I have,
It's something I do.
And the weirdest thing of all:
The more I do, the more I have.

Step 1 on hoping: spend more time thinking about the solutions than the problems.

You can do this.

Gottalife

Phrases that kill off hope. "Yes but, I know that, you don't understand, I'm different". anything that separates us from our fellows.

I found hope taking to a recovered alcoholic. Hope for me meant a possible way out of the misery that was my life. Nothing more than that.

I recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, by following some simple suggestions from people who knew the way out.

ScaredTexan

I know it’s not for everyone, but I’m trying to find my way back to the religious side of my life. Day 3 sober. It does help to calm and center me. The thought that there’s something else out there besides my drunk ass. Just a thought,

entropy1964

Like everyone is saying, you are the perfect candidate for AA. You have a lot of time to spend and eventually give. Just go for it and keep an open mind. What have you got to lose?

August252015

Me, too. I was a shell, and a very sick one at that. I had to just stop and trust that the things others around me in AA had found would happen for me. They have, in spades.

Quitting is terrifying, even when you're like me and you have ruined just about everything in your life even your life itself.

It's still possible. You can do this.