OldCoach

Hello, coming off a five day bender...feel like such a fool...the good news? I am broke until Friday. Got to get back to AA...have only had two weeks of sobriety since Dec. I don't want to drink anymore...most assuredly feeling powerless right now...

nova84

Glad you checked in here OldCoach 💜 Do you have any insights into why it hasn't been working out for you?

OldCoach

I need to get back to AA and start working the steps again. For some reason, when I drink, I believe the lie that it will be different this time. But, it never is. I need to quit fooling myself into believe that I can drink like a normal person. I simply can't. I had not run out of booze...I am sure I would still be drinking today. I need help.

Hevyn

Hi OldCoach. Great to have you here with us.

That's what was hard for me - acknowledging that it would never be different. No amount of willpower or determination to drink socially was going to save me. You won't believe the lie again - you can do it this time.

nova84

Maybe you need to strengthen your sobriety plan...some additions to AA and SR?

Nonsensical

Of all the lies my AV told me, that was the one I fell for the most. Probably because it was the one I wanted to believe the most.

Welcome back.
Drink some water.
Get some rest.
You have work to do.

Dee74

I'm glad you made it back OldCoach - any ideas on what you might do now?

D

OldCoach

Any suggestions? Thank you!

Anna

OldCoach, coming here to SR and reading/posting could be helpful for you. You can learn to recognize the voice, and that it always lies to you, and that will help you stay sober.

nova84

This is what my plan looks like:

• post on SR everyday-either replying to other's threads or posting my own

•complete a daily gratitude list everyday-there's a gratitude forum here on SR

•I completed a 30 session meditation programme on anxiety on the Headspace app and am part way through a Stress programme. I complete a meditation session every day.

•I review my goals and vision statement everyday

•I completed a 30 day audiobook sobriety programme called the 30 Day Sobriety Solution-it has daily action steps which I complete and it comes with a handy companion website

•I asked a good friend who has 9 years of sobriety to be my mentor and I check in with him via email, calls or face to face each week

•I have a list of tools/activities/exercises/strategies to use when cravings hit

•I attend an exercise class a couple of times a week

•I attended psychotherapy for 2.5 years

Gottalife

"The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed" A part of the first step direction which is often missed.

It took a four day bender for me to smash that delusion. You did five. Is it smashed yet?

OldCoach

totally smashed! I have had far too many of these benders over the years. If I keep this up, I will lose my wife, job, life...etc...

I want to live...I had my last drink at 10am yesterday...had a sleepless sweaty night...but, I am here!

FreeOwl

CONGRATULATIONS OLD COACH!!!

Congratulations, you say?

Yeah man..... five days? The last bender I went on lasted a year and a half.

Five days is nothin'. How fortunate you are to be back to sobriety already!!!

(let's make it stick this time, whaddya say?)

Rar

Glad you're back OldCoach.