Between stimulus and response
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,576
Between stimulus and response
I know this quote has been shared before but it can be applied so well to early recovery that I'm posting it again 
I'm glad I learned, finally, that there is a space between stimulus and response - a multiplicity of possibilities between the idea of drinking again, and actually making it happen.
At any time, we can decide no and choose a different better path, a positive over a self destructive outcome.
Embrace the New.
Choose Growth and Freedom
I'm glad I learned, finally, that there is a space between stimulus and response - a multiplicity of possibilities between the idea of drinking again, and actually making it happen.
At any time, we can decide no and choose a different better path, a positive over a self destructive outcome.
Embrace the New.
Choose Growth and Freedom
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 1,956
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I know this quote has been shared before but it can be applied so well to early recovery that I'm posting it again
I'm glad I learned, finally, that there is a space between stimulus and response - a multiplicity of possibilities between the idea of drinking again, and actually making it happen.
At any time, we can decide no and choose a different better path, a positive over a self destructive outcome.
Embrace the New.
Choose Growth and Freedom
I'm glad I learned, finally, that there is a space between stimulus and response - a multiplicity of possibilities between the idea of drinking again, and actually making it happen.
At any time, we can decide no and choose a different better path, a positive over a self destructive outcome.
Embrace the New.
Choose Growth and Freedom
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,826
It took me a long time to finally figure out the principle behind it of taking time to think . I should have known this when I suffered thru unpopularity at my HS, and especially the 10 yrs after high school. But I was drinking then, so probably wouldn't have understood it, or been inclined to try it. 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,454
Very helpful and the key to my favorite “list” tool. I found if I could simply distract myself from intense cravings even as little as 5-15 minutes they would typically pass and I would feel normal again and not want to drink. I learned by doing this to both widen and hold the space between the craving for alcohol and my response to that craving. I disarmed the automatic trigger to drink first and think later.
Making a list of several things I “had” to do before picking up was, I think, how I finally broke my last run of serial relapse. I know many of you already know from my other posts what I did, but in case you are new or having trouble beating cravings, please try as it is very effective—
My list of 5-10 things varied but most could be completed in 5–30 minutes. My “rule” was I had to do at least 3 things on the list before having a drink. If I followed this rule, I never had to even finish my 3 things before craving was over and I was “safe” from temptation once again.
Below is sample of things I have had on my list over time-adapt yours as needed for your lifestyle, work, health, and interests. I suggest some inside and some outside more active things so you can respond in bad weather, or when you are anxious, etc. with different options.
Take a walk around the block
Do 10-20 burpees or push ups inside
Do some short sprints in the grass barefoot (great for grounding and relieving anxiety)
Take a gentle walk in nature or in your neighborhood—smile when you see someone and wave
Play with your pet (if you have one) or cuddle. Shelters are nice places to visit pets to share some love.
Short drive to or through a pretty place. Local parks are so nice for this—when was the last time you went to one?
Set up a jigsaw puzzle or get a mini one and work on it for 10 minutes
Do another type of word or number puzzle you like—get a big book of them and keep it handy
Read (or listen) to a chapter of a book. I really found “Alcohol Explained” and “Alcohol: A Love Story” helpful for inspiration, but also used novels, self-help, podcasts, etc.
Write your feelings in a journal
Clean out one drawer or cabinet
Go through pantry and come up with one bag of food to donate
Prep a recipe you like and / or make a nice snack
Do a couple of yoga sequences
Meditate for 10 minutes. Guided meditations are great on App Insight Timer and it’s free
Take a nap
Take a shower or bath
Make and drink as a ritual a cup of nice tea or coffee
Eat some ice cream
Call a friend to chat for some support and contact
You get the idea—short distractions break the psychological and often physiological cycle of addiction’s intense “demand” phase—What we call here “The Beast”
.
Remember, The Beast cannot drive to the liquor store, or open a bottle, or lift a drink to your lips.
Only you can do that, or not. . .
“You have the power Dorthy”, as the Good Witch Glenda said. . .
Use it!
Making a list of several things I “had” to do before picking up was, I think, how I finally broke my last run of serial relapse. I know many of you already know from my other posts what I did, but in case you are new or having trouble beating cravings, please try as it is very effective—
My list of 5-10 things varied but most could be completed in 5–30 minutes. My “rule” was I had to do at least 3 things on the list before having a drink. If I followed this rule, I never had to even finish my 3 things before craving was over and I was “safe” from temptation once again.
Below is sample of things I have had on my list over time-adapt yours as needed for your lifestyle, work, health, and interests. I suggest some inside and some outside more active things so you can respond in bad weather, or when you are anxious, etc. with different options.
Take a walk around the block
Do 10-20 burpees or push ups inside
Do some short sprints in the grass barefoot (great for grounding and relieving anxiety)
Take a gentle walk in nature or in your neighborhood—smile when you see someone and wave
Play with your pet (if you have one) or cuddle. Shelters are nice places to visit pets to share some love.
Short drive to or through a pretty place. Local parks are so nice for this—when was the last time you went to one?
Set up a jigsaw puzzle or get a mini one and work on it for 10 minutes
Do another type of word or number puzzle you like—get a big book of them and keep it handy
Read (or listen) to a chapter of a book. I really found “Alcohol Explained” and “Alcohol: A Love Story” helpful for inspiration, but also used novels, self-help, podcasts, etc.
Write your feelings in a journal
Clean out one drawer or cabinet
Go through pantry and come up with one bag of food to donate
Prep a recipe you like and / or make a nice snack
Do a couple of yoga sequences
Meditate for 10 minutes. Guided meditations are great on App Insight Timer and it’s free
Take a nap
Take a shower or bath
Make and drink as a ritual a cup of nice tea or coffee
Eat some ice cream
Call a friend to chat for some support and contact
You get the idea—short distractions break the psychological and often physiological cycle of addiction’s intense “demand” phase—What we call here “The Beast”
.Remember, The Beast cannot drive to the liquor store, or open a bottle, or lift a drink to your lips.
Only you can do that, or not. . .
“You have the power Dorthy”, as the Good Witch Glenda said. . .
Use it!
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,707
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Very helpful and the key to my favorite “list” tool. I found if I could simply distract myself from intense cravings even as little as 5-15 minutes they would typically pass and I would feel normal again and not want to drink. I learned by doing this to both widen and hold the space between the craving for alcohol and my response to that craving. I disarmed the automatic trigger to drink first and think later.
Making a list of several things I “had” to do before picking up was, I think, how I finally broke my last run of serial relapse. I know many of you already know from my other posts what I did, but in case you are new or having trouble beating cravings, please try as it is very effective—
My list of 5-10 things varied but most could be completed in 5–30 minutes. My “rule” was I had to do at least 3 things on the list before having a drink. If I followed this rule, I never had to even finish my 3 things before craving was over and I was “safe” from temptation once again.
Below is sample of things I have had on my list over time-adapt yours as needed for your lifestyle, work, health, and interests. I suggest some inside and some outside more active things so you can respond in bad weather, or when you are anxious, etc. with different options.
Take a walk around the block
Do 10-20 burpees or push ups inside
Do some short sprints in the grass barefoot (great for grounding and relieving anxiety)
Take a gentle walk in nature or in your neighborhood—smile when you see someone and wave
Play with your pet (if you have one) or cuddle. Shelters are nice places to visit pets to share some love.
Short drive to or through a pretty place. Local parks are so nice for this—when was the last time you went to one?
Set up a jigsaw puzzle or get a mini one and work on it for 10 minutes
Do another type of word or number puzzle you like—get a big book of them and keep it handy
Read (or listen) to a chapter of a book. I really found “Alcohol Explained” and “Alcohol: A Love Story” helpful for inspiration, but also used novels, self-help, podcasts, etc.
Write your feelings in a journal
Clean out one drawer or cabinet
Go through pantry and come up with one bag of food to donate
Prep a recipe you like and / or make a nice snack
Do a couple of yoga sequences
Meditate for 10 minutes. Guided meditations are great on App Insight Timer and it’s free
Take a nap
Take a shower or bath
Make and drink as a ritual a cup of nice tea or coffee
Eat some ice cream
Call a friend to chat for some support and contact
You get the idea—short distractions break the psychological and often physiological cycle of addiction’s intense “demand” phase—What we call here “The Beast”.
Remember, The Beast cannot drive to the liquor store, or open a bottle, or lift a drink to your lips.
Only you can do that, or not. . .
“You have the power Dorthy”, as the Good Witch Glenda said. . .
Use it!
Making a list of several things I “had” to do before picking up was, I think, how I finally broke my last run of serial relapse. I know many of you already know from my other posts what I did, but in case you are new or having trouble beating cravings, please try as it is very effective—
My list of 5-10 things varied but most could be completed in 5–30 minutes. My “rule” was I had to do at least 3 things on the list before having a drink. If I followed this rule, I never had to even finish my 3 things before craving was over and I was “safe” from temptation once again.
Below is sample of things I have had on my list over time-adapt yours as needed for your lifestyle, work, health, and interests. I suggest some inside and some outside more active things so you can respond in bad weather, or when you are anxious, etc. with different options.
Take a walk around the block
Do 10-20 burpees or push ups inside
Do some short sprints in the grass barefoot (great for grounding and relieving anxiety)
Take a gentle walk in nature or in your neighborhood—smile when you see someone and wave
Play with your pet (if you have one) or cuddle. Shelters are nice places to visit pets to share some love.
Short drive to or through a pretty place. Local parks are so nice for this—when was the last time you went to one?
Set up a jigsaw puzzle or get a mini one and work on it for 10 minutes
Do another type of word or number puzzle you like—get a big book of them and keep it handy
Read (or listen) to a chapter of a book. I really found “Alcohol Explained” and “Alcohol: A Love Story” helpful for inspiration, but also used novels, self-help, podcasts, etc.
Write your feelings in a journal
Clean out one drawer or cabinet
Go through pantry and come up with one bag of food to donate
Prep a recipe you like and / or make a nice snack
Do a couple of yoga sequences
Meditate for 10 minutes. Guided meditations are great on App Insight Timer and it’s free
Take a nap
Take a shower or bath
Make and drink as a ritual a cup of nice tea or coffee
Eat some ice cream
Call a friend to chat for some support and contact
You get the idea—short distractions break the psychological and often physiological cycle of addiction’s intense “demand” phase—What we call here “The Beast”
.Remember, The Beast cannot drive to the liquor store, or open a bottle, or lift a drink to your lips.
Only you can do that, or not. . .
“You have the power Dorthy”, as the Good Witch Glenda said. . .
Use it!
The Dog
Join Date: Apr 2023
Location: Fly over state USA
Posts: 5,401
I had to go out and get my dinner last night. I was tired and didn't feel like going out. I just went a mile from home and got a quick meal to take home and eat. That is right across the street from the liquor store I used to frequent. The temptation crossed my mind that I could get a bottle, go to bed drunk and no one would know. However, I just dismissed that quickly, went straight home and since I didn't go there and buy a bottle I went to bed sober. For me that is the biggest part of being quit. Since I never drink and drive I just have to never have alcohol at my house which the only way it gets here is if I bring it here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Location: Mid-Atlantic states
Posts: 1,013
Thanks for posting this, Dee. It is so very true, and a relapse really does often begin to happen sometimes far before we take that first drink. In my past, I would feel myself detaching from thoughts of sobriety, gratitude, just getting out of the sober mindset and inevitably I would relapse. When I finally realized I was doing this it was powerful.
None of us gets drunk by accident.
None of us gets drunk by accident.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,633
For many years I went straight from stimulus to drinking - never even acknowledged the space. I can't believe I was such a fool for so long.
This is a great help to us all, thank you for the reminder Dee.
This is a great help to us all, thank you for the reminder Dee.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,645
For me, the space between "stimulus" and "response" is understanding.
Why do I feel the way I do in this moment? What am I thinking?
When I challenge thought attacks that have me spinning, my response to the situation changes. ❤️
Why do I feel the way I do in this moment? What am I thinking?
When I challenge thought attacks that have me spinning, my response to the situation changes. ❤️
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