readyt0change

as the day counter grows i start to accept that this is the only way for me to live. i just can't get into drinking and pot smoking because it's taken so many opportunities from me. looking back now i think i've spent maybe 20% of the days sober since I turned 18. most of the days i was under the influence of weed or out drinking in bars multiple times the last couple years. when i live to drink and drug i care about nothing else except my own pleasure. all my money goes to it.

started using at 17 in residence at university as fun but in a couple months it developed into addiction and it's all gone downhill from there. that was 2010. from there i've attempted going back and taken a few courses and got good grades but it never stuck, i always ended up dropping my courses and going back to using and pipe dreams.
i have a dream of becoming an actor but it seems impossible most days. not sure what else i want to do in this world.

how am i going to make a living is what concerns me now. i've worked odd jobs and depended on my disability cheques for about 5 years now. i try not to think of the future much but i can't help but worry. what am i gonna do with my life now? i'm 25 years old and the future is so uncertain.

i'm not going back to using. will stay sober and ride this cold winter out. it's been hard to trust in life. i realize now that i used to escape and because at many points i felt hopeless and hated my situation.

tired of being a ******* bum. i won't stand for this anymore. tired of not living up to my potential.

how did you guys rebuild your life? any advice?

Pipefish

I did it very, very slowly. That was important for me because, tempted as I was to set the bar high, each time I'd done that previously, it hadn't worked out; no tools, or life experience to deal with the difficulties life inevitably brings, and I need to start where I was, rather than where I wanted to be.

So, I took a job that was local enough & undemanding enough to be manageable for me. The only purpose of that job really was to keep a roof over my head, and be simple enough that I could get out of the door each day to get there. Nothing more fancy than that. Through doing that, I learned about perseverance, tolerance, hanging in even when the very last thing I wanted to do was hang in there. It didn't matter what the job was, it was about self-respect, and supporting myself.

The other thing I did, having previously been involved in AA, was to go back, and make a dedicated effort to go through the steps again, and find a way to really begin to live those principles in my life. To this end, today I follow an Eastern teaching, and it helps me continue to learn how to be at ease in the world, even when circumstances aren't as I would wish, without the need to drink or use drugs.

One of the wisest things anyone ever said to me early on was 'just keep putting one foot in front of the other'. If we can do that, not drink or use, and find some way, be it AA, or another route, to support us in changing how we are in the world, that's a whole new way of life, right there. And if that's possible for me, it's possible for anyone because I was truly chaotic, and could not hold on to, let alone fulfil a commitment to anything.

One of the simplest, most profound tools that helped me form new habits and see where I fell short each day, was the AA just for today card. It's a work of genius, and anyone, alcoholic or not, couldn't fail to benefit from its simple wisdom. It helped me so much, and is something I return to again and again.

You have a great foundation with your 75 days of sobriety. Build on that, be patient with yourself, give yourself a chance.

Wish you well.

Mcribb

I had to give up on my hopes and dreams. Now I just focus on staying sober, talking to a sponsor and going to meetings. It isn't much of a life but it is better than DRINKING!

ScottFromWI

First step for me was to stay sober - glad to year you have made that decision too. At least for me, there was no possible way I could have made any progress in my life while I was still drinking.

After that, you just have to make a plan - what is your end goal? Being an Actor is certainly not an unattainable goal by any means, but you have to also temper your goals/dreams with the realities surrounding them. And there are probably a lot of careers that surround acting that you could pursue if acting itself doesn't work out, right?

Bottom line though, just about anything is possible in life if you really set your mind to it. And being sober will give you a much better chance at doing that.

Anna

Staying sober is priority.

Beyond that, I made changes slowly. I accepted that I was trying to do too much and spinning my wheels pleasing others. So, from there, I started to rebuild. I think making lists is very helpful. It will give you the feeling that you are accomplishing something each day, each week, and moving forward.

Silverback4

slowly but surely learning to be patient and take things as they come has helped me greatly.
Give up the illusion of "control" that I thought I had over every aspect of my life and my world and everyone in it and realise I am not the master of the universe.

I am just a decent, hard working family guy who has danced with the drink for too long so now that chapter of my life is over.

Take your time, be open to things as they come and and one day soon you will look back at day 75 and appreciate how much better and positive you feel.
Real healing takes a while, let it do its thing.

Nonsensical

1. Pictured where I wanted to be in 5 years.
2. Imagined that I was already there and then reflected on the path I had to take to get there.
3. Came back to the present and started walking that path.

Congrats on your sober time.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

readyt0change

thanks for the advice guys. will stay the course.

i browse the forums daily and try to offer support but i'm just a rookie.

Dee74

A lot of things fell into place for me to be honest - just the fact of having to deal with my problems and try and solve them helped me work a lot of things out.

I did a lot of things that gave my life meaning - volunteering, getting back into playing guitar reconnecting with old true friends.

Is there a local theater group you could join?

D