Not sure what to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 7
Not sure what to do
Hi,
I don't really know where to start, or if I'm 'that bad' so to speak. I have long periods of taking prescription pain drugs (much more than I should relative to the pain I'm in). I also smoke a bit of weed from time to time but never saw this as much of an issue until recently.
My main problem seems to be that every now and then I go out drinking and taking coke and just lose control. No idea why, I can go months without doing it.
Last night I lost an important relationship and I think I need help. Everything sounds too severe though, I'm no where near as bad as some people and kind of feel ashamed to compare my troubles to theirs.
I've never asked for help before and don't really know what to do?
I don't really know where to start, or if I'm 'that bad' so to speak. I have long periods of taking prescription pain drugs (much more than I should relative to the pain I'm in). I also smoke a bit of weed from time to time but never saw this as much of an issue until recently.
My main problem seems to be that every now and then I go out drinking and taking coke and just lose control. No idea why, I can go months without doing it.
Last night I lost an important relationship and I think I need help. Everything sounds too severe though, I'm no where near as bad as some people and kind of feel ashamed to compare my troubles to theirs.
I've never asked for help before and don't really know what to do?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi Anon and welcome to SR.
I knew I had a problem also, still do. I'm not as bad as some but also worse than many who can drink normally. the most important thing is that if it's a problem for us then that's enough for us to do something about it.
There's people here at all different stages and everyone is very welcome.
I knew I had a problem also, still do. I'm not as bad as some but also worse than many who can drink normally. the most important thing is that if it's a problem for us then that's enough for us to do something about it.
There's people here at all different stages and everyone is very welcome.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,718
Anon,
Welcome to SR. Keep reading, keep posting and join the January Class for support and building friendships, too. We are a great group of people that will be there for you everytime you reach out! Glad you are here. Stay with us! Together we are strong!
Welcome to SR. Keep reading, keep posting and join the January Class for support and building friendships, too. We are a great group of people that will be there for you everytime you reach out! Glad you are here. Stay with us! Together we are strong!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Welcome to the family. It doesn't matter how 'bad' your problem is, if it's causing you trouble, then you should address it now before it gets worse. I hope our support can help you get sober for good and build the life you want for yourself. 
It doesn't matter how 'bad' your problem is, if it's causing you trouble, then you should address it now before it gets worse. I hope our support can help you get sober for good and build the life you want for yourself. Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Welcome AY!
After going to SMART meetings and reading on this forum I know that my problem was not as great as many, many other people's (yet) BUT it was still definitely a big problem in my life. So without comparing myself to others I had to do something about it. Sounds like you want to make some changes too. There's loads of help here.
After going to SMART meetings and reading on this forum I know that my problem was not as great as many, many other people's (yet) BUT it was still definitely a big problem in my life. So without comparing myself to others I had to do something about it. Sounds like you want to make some changes too. There's loads of help here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast 
Hi Anon and welcome to SR.
I knew I had a problem also, still do. I'm not as bad as some but also worse than many who can drink normally. the most important thing is that if it's a problem for us then that's enough for us to do something about it.
There's people here at all different stages and everyone is very welcome.
I knew I had a problem also, still do. I'm not as bad as some but also worse than many who can drink normally. the most important thing is that if it's a problem for us then that's enough for us to do something about it.
There's people here at all different stages and everyone is very welcome.
Just feel alone and all my friends are like me with the same kinds of things going on. I don't make new friends easily so I feel isolated if I try to distance myself from all this and I think that's what makes me do it all again.
I always go out with the intention of just having a few and it always gets crazy. Can someone like me just be normal? Or do I need to stop everything and be totally sober? I'm starting to think I'm addicted and can't help myself.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I know personally I can't moderate. Dont get me wrong, some times I can just have a couple of drinks. I CAN stop I just don't want to stop. What's the point in just having a couple. I drink to get drunk, numb, forget, be more outgoing etc. Then I drink too much, blackout, say and do bad things and make a complete fool of myself.
Only abstinence works for me,
Only abstinence works for me,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
I know personally I can't moderate. Dont get me wrong, some times I can just have a couple of drinks. I CAN stop I just don't want to stop. What's the point in just having a couple. I drink to get drunk, numb, forget, be more outgoing etc. Then I drink too much, blackout, say and do bad things and make a complete fool of myself.
Only abstinence works for me,
Only abstinence works for me,
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by AnonYorkshire
Hi,
I don't really know where to start, or if I'm 'that bad' so to speak.
I don't really know where to start, or if I'm 'that bad' so to speak.
and there IS a solution.
I don't make new friends easily so I feel isolated if I try to distance myself from all this and I think that's what makes me do it all again
it could be just that or,more than likely, a wee bit deeper. i got rid of all my so called friends when i got sober. it took me quite some time to make new friends. yet i didnt drink.
although there were times when i was drinking i used the no friends excuse to drink.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,718
I cannot moderate. Once I have one beer it is never enough. I will drink for days until my body cannot handle anymore alcohol. Then it is time to withdrawl for at least a week of suffering. One drink is all it takes to put me back on the wrong path.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Welcome. Glad you found us.
There's no need to do this alone. And no need for comparisons. There'll always be differences, but the one big similarity is that we all want sobriety, and a better life through recovery.
Have you looked at NarAnon? Free and no need to register or give even your full name. You can turn up to any meeting in the world and be made welcome. There will, be people you relate to and who understand how you're feeling, and who can help you with your goal of long-term abstinence.
https://ukna.org/meetings/search
BB
There's no need to do this alone. And no need for comparisons. There'll always be differences, but the one big similarity is that we all want sobriety, and a better life through recovery.
Have you looked at NarAnon? Free and no need to register or give even your full name. You can turn up to any meeting in the world and be made welcome. There will, be people you relate to and who understand how you're feeling, and who can help you with your goal of long-term abstinence.
https://ukna.org/meetings/search
BB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 7
Thanks for all the support everyone. I really appreciate you all taking the time to help me. I signed up for the January group.
I looked at NA but they don't seem to have much in my area sadly. That's why it's good to have people to talk to on here I think.
Do you have people who manage it just by being on here? Or do people generally have other support groups they attend in person?
I looked at NA but they don't seem to have much in my area sadly. That's why it's good to have people to talk to on here I think.
Do you have people who manage it just by being on here? Or do people generally have other support groups they attend in person?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
It's a real mix.
Not everyone goes to groups, but most folk who find a balance to so by working on recovery rather than just relying on abstaining alone.
Dee has a great thread on devising a recivery plan for yourself. Worth taking a look through it... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
BB
Not everyone goes to groups, but most folk who find a balance to so by working on recovery rather than just relying on abstaining alone.
Dee has a great thread on devising a recivery plan for yourself. Worth taking a look through it... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
BB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 547
Originally Posted by AnonYorkshire
Thanks for all the support everyone. I really appreciate you all taking the time to help me. I signed up for the January group.
I looked at NA but they don't seem to have much in my area sadly. That's why it's good to have people to talk to on here I think.
Do you have people who manage it just by being on here? Or do people generally have other support groups they attend in person?
I looked at NA but they don't seem to have much in my area sadly. That's why it's good to have people to talk to on here I think.
Do you have people who manage it just by being on here? Or do people generally have other support groups they attend in person?
I am 5 months sober and I only used SR, so it can be done as plenty here will testify.
I post and read here daily,it really helps me to be accountable. I also read up on alcoholism both on here and bought AA literature Living Sober, which was a big help to me especially in the early days.
I was prepared to consider all help though and would never rule out face to face meetings, I made being sober my number one priority.
I still take it one day at a time though, even now.
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