I just lost a friend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
I just lost a friend
My night just keeps getting worse I got a call about 10min ago a close friend was drunk driving and hit a tree was pronounced dead at the scene my mind is blank right now words cant express what I’m feeling we was both 28 years old and that’s to young to go I feel like I should of been there to stop her but I decided not to go out tonight I started talking a couple drinks but dumped it out and got on here instead I promise I’m never going to drink or use again I’m over it I’m not ready to die or give up this was a smack in the face tomorrow will be day 1 since I did take some drinks but promise you never again I WILL start recovery tomorrow may god be with her and her family tonight
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Please don't blame yourself - I know I could not be talked out of things when I was drinking.
I'm really pleased and proud for you you've decided to deal with this sober.
D
Please don't blame yourself - I know I could not be talked out of things when I was drinking.
I'm really pleased and proud for you you've decided to deal with this sober.
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Country, I’m so sorry for your loss. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault. I’m glad you didn’t go out drinking. Take it as a wake up call. And thanks for sharing- it’s a wake up call for all of us. I’m so so sorry you lost your friend. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. Hold on, it’ll take time to process your loss. I know if it were me drinking would make it worse. Hang in there friend!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: South Africa, Durban/Cape Town
Posts: 217
Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. Truly am. I have also experienced the death of a close friend and it does not get easier. Stay strong, my friend. Like others said, look at it as a wake up call. It is so sad your friend passed prematurely but I hope you can look at that and decide to choose a better path for yourself. You deserve it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I'm so sorry for your loss CL.
I'm also so, so grateful that you didn't go out. You wouldn't have stopped them. More likely you'd have been in that car and dead or destroyed physically and perhaps mentally yourself. Not going out drinking saved your life I reckon.
Prayers for you and your friends loved ones.
BB
I'm also so, so grateful that you didn't go out. You wouldn't have stopped them. More likely you'd have been in that car and dead or destroyed physically and perhaps mentally yourself. Not going out drinking saved your life I reckon.
Prayers for you and your friends loved ones.
BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Derbyshire Dales, UK.
Posts: 2,618
28 is no age at all - so sorry to hear this 
You've done fantastically well, for not drinking over this.
If you were female, I'd suggest planting a rose bush in his memory, but how about instead, starting a crowd funder for his family or for others in distress? I always find doing something like that, helps me plus other people.
I'm hogging SR like I'm superglued to the Mods Azzes over Christmas, so please feel free to chat anytime.
Look after yourself and well done for not drinking.
Z
You've done fantastically well, for not drinking over this.
If you were female, I'd suggest planting a rose bush in his memory, but how about instead, starting a crowd funder for his family or for others in distress? I always find doing something like that, helps me plus other people.
I'm hogging SR like I'm superglued to the Mods Azzes over Christmas, so please feel free to chat anytime.
Look after yourself and well done for not drinking.
Z
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Indiana
Posts: 105
Thanks everyone so I hope I’m doing the right thing the group of friends I hang out with they decided to have a party tonight in her memory which I’m thinking is the worse thing to do but I told them I wasn’t going and to never talk or text me again about parties or drinking I hate to turn my back on them at this time but I got to focus on me (sobriety being a mom and wife) my partying days are over I talk to her mom today and she ask me to make her daughter accident a chance to save another life and wanted me to promise I would change and get help which I told her that’s a promise I plan on keeping
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 132
Countrylife, that's so sad. Big hugs to you.
I'm glad you're going to deal with it sober, because I'm sure your mind is in a difficult enough state just trying to process what's happened. Getting drunk wouldn't be helpful at all.
If I can offer any advice, it's to try to focus on happy memories you have of your friend. I'm sure you'll have thoughts all over the place in your head for a while - think of something nice and keep going back to it.
I'm glad you're going to deal with it sober, because I'm sure your mind is in a difficult enough state just trying to process what's happened. Getting drunk wouldn't be helpful at all.
If I can offer any advice, it's to try to focus on happy memories you have of your friend. I'm sure you'll have thoughts all over the place in your head for a while - think of something nice and keep going back to it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Countrylife 
I talk to her mom today and she ask me to make her daughter accident a chance to save another life and wanted me to promise I would change and get help which I told her that’s a promise I plan on keeping
You have a chance at a new beginning. So did I, and I'm so, so glad I took it. Please grab it with both hands, in memory of your friend, to honour her and her family, and as an act of love to yourself and all those who care about you.
Prayers and blessings to you and yours tonight.
BB
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