Sunflower17

I 'was' in my 5th alcohol free day today.

I had an absolutely awful day at work. I came home and drank the bottle of prosecco I'd been given as a present.

I craved more. I sat, and waited but it didn't go away. So I walked to the shop... With my dog so at least she got some exercise!!!

And now I'm drinking beer, listening to music and generally feeling crap!!

I am a binger!!! I know that now! I can go days, weeks even. But once I start, I struggle to stop.

Am I an alchoholic??? What is wrong with me???

mumther911

I am in the same boat. I am 4 sure an alcoholic.

KG77

Oh, honey 🙁... I have been there too many times to count. I don't think anyone can answer that question but you, but I will say that for me not being able to stop once I started was the FIRST (of many many more to come) red flags that told me yes, I am an alcoholic. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and try again. We are all here for you.
Hugs
KG

DreamCatcher17

Hi Sunflower,

Alcoholism is self-diagnosed.

I was a bing drinker
I was not able to stop 90% of the time
I am an alcoholic.

If you are here, maybe you think you are too?

tiredwoman

Really reminding me of a day in my life. I am very prone to drinking when I have had a rough day at work or university. I don't handle adversity well. Don't beat yourself up. It happens. You can do this. Most of us fall of a bike when we are learning how to ride as kids. Think of it like that. You can fall, but eventually you will conquer. It's not easy, but nothing worthwhile in life is.

Sunflower17

I think i have a problem with alcohol, yes! I'm so lonely and when i get home from work, i drink. I have one, feel a bit better and have several more.

I've read so many stories on here, and I am not as chaotic as some of them, usually. But I know I'm heading down that path.

I start, and then crave more. I can't stop...

tiredwoman

I have always envied folks who can have a single drink and leave it at that. My parents do that and I honestly wonder how they can. When I drink it is with the intention of getting wasted.

That's why for people like us, it is important to not start. What happens as one drink ends with many more.

anxiousrock

I am exactly the same way! As long as I don't start, I'm okay.
I can go months sometimes.
Then I crave and binge.

Sunflower17

I drink to get drunk!!! What's the point otherwise? I would LOVE to have a couple to relax! I tried that tonight!!! Ended up mullered!!! I tested myself... I know now!

anxiousrock

I drink to get drunk too. I surprised myself this weekend. I went to a football game (2 nights in a hotel plus the game), and had one drink one night and 3 at the game.
Then I stopped.
It's a miracle, that has never happened before!

tiredwoman

Agree about drinking to get drunk. I feel like I may as well drink Coca Cola if I am simply gonna drink one glass of red wine.

DontRemember

After you finished the one drink were you thinking about another? The 3 at the game is understandable..what are they charging at the stadiums nowadays? We'd always tailgate for a couple hours and only have 3-4 once inside. Then of course get wasted after the game.

noturningback2

I was a binger too, and never understood how people drank to 'relax'. When I drank, things got faster, I couldn't sit still, my heart raced, I didn't stop talking, to anyone, so fast I could barely keep up, I brimmed with confidence, I wanted to do everything now! If I was trying to work on the laptop I had to stop, because I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't even watch a tv programme as I couldn't sit to watch it. This is after a few sips, then I drank to oblivion because I felt great and i wanted more and more of it. I hear most people don't feel this way after a small amount of alcohol, which should have been my first clue I don't react normally to it. Sadly it took many years to understand its like crack to me. You know now, don't forget it.

tiredwoman

Great post.

Anna

Being an alcoholic isn't about how much you drink, the amount of chaos in your life, or anything like that. It's about what happens to you when you drink. If you can't stop drinking once you start, you are an alcoholic. Normal people do not have to worry about not being able to stop drinking.

Can you come up with a recovery plan to help you stop drinking?

Sunflower17

This is me!! To a tee!!! I'm 40 in March. I'm Irish! And I'm going to Dublin for my birthday... which just happens to be St. Patrick's Day! How the hell do I deal with that!!!

Sunflower17

No!!! I need some guidance! I'm still in the 'there's nothing wrong with me' mindset 😓

DontRemember

Have fun sober(it's really a thing.. trust me) while watching all the drunks make asses out of themselves and be thankful that's not you! Then you wake up the next day refreshed,instead of waking up 'hurting' and wondering what the hell happened last night?

noturningback2

I'm from UK, and drinking culture here is hard enough, let alone the Irish drinking culture!!Phew, that's a tough one. Look, uou have until March to get some footing. You know now you cant drink normally, because our brains don't process it in the same way. Ive reached acceptance of this, it took a long time, I approach the thought of having a drink with the same caution as I would with someone offering me class A's. Would I take heroin from someone when I know it would be detrimental to my health and life?....no. That would be foolish, studies show what can happen from taking heroin. Alcohol has proven to be detrimental to my health and my life.....what kind of idiot would repeat that? That's foolish I have concrete evidence of what can happen from having one drink, and alcohol is incredibly addictive for me. Why would I accept a drink, but not heroin? Can you see it makes zero sense?

Realising this half the battle... stay present on here, read a whole lot on recovery, I'm working the steps, but not in AA due to personal choice. If nearer the time you feel being in Dublin pubs and being sober is almost impossible for you to do, which would be hard for anyone in recovery. Then be honest with yourself, its YOUR birthday, don't go with the flow for others, those that are there and love you will want you to do what you want to do and if they know about your issues with drinking, should be behind you 100%.

noturningback2

haha I love this part, yes I am the one you see now, smugly smiling into my Appletize, knowing I shall awaken hangover and guilt free and not doing the standard morning after check for keys, phone and purse before trawling through the phone looking for evidence to put together the evening and hoping I have not sent any mortifying messages. So smug.