Husband s Sobriety
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Join Date: Dec 2017
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Husband s Sobriety
My husband has been in recovery since July of this year. He has struggled... I had noticed for a weeks he has been more agitated and withdrawn... then last week tells me he is leaving our marriage and doesn’t want to struggle with our relationship anymore... I am heartbroken.. we have young children... I know I have to accept it.... he hasn’t been to meetings and is now denying even being an alcoholic . He thinks maybe our unhappy marriage led to his drinking
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
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Welcome to SR Wife1973,
I have no idea what your husband thinks or feels. But as an alcoholic in recovery, no one made me drink, no circumstance led to my drinking, and no one got me to stop drinking. I am sorry for your situation and I pray you find your happiness with or without your husband. You have children, friends and family that love you lean on them in your time of need.
God bless
I have no idea what your husband thinks or feels. But as an alcoholic in recovery, no one made me drink, no circumstance led to my drinking, and no one got me to stop drinking. I am sorry for your situation and I pray you find your happiness with or without your husband. You have children, friends and family that love you lean on them in your time of need.
God bless
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Wife1973 
he hasn’t been to meetings and is now denying even being an alcoholic . He thinks maybe our unhappy marriage led to his drinking
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Wife1973
My husband has been in recovery since July of this year. He has struggled... I had noticed for a weeks he has been more agitated and withdrawn... then last week tells me he is leaving our marriage and doesn’t want to struggle with our relationship anymore... I am heartbroken.. we have young children... I know I have to accept it.... he hasn’t been to meetings and is now denying even being an alcoholic . He thinks maybe our unhappy marriage led to his drinking
It sounds like his AV is coming through loud and strong telling him that drink is the solution rather than the problem. And as alcoholics we are pretty mesmerized by that voice in early sobriety or when things start getting tricky.
If he was here himself I'd suggest that he have a read about PAWs and consider looking hard at his recovery plan. This is some of the most useful info I found for myself when I was 6 month in and feeling like he is now... https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
Can I suggest that you seek support (as well as from here) for yourself. AlAnon could help with that one. I'd also suggest reading on the friend and family board here if you havent found that yes, as there are lots of stickies and threads that could be very useful for you.
In the meantime, please remember that you did not cause it and you can't control it. He has to want to be sober.
BB
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 3
He is choosing alcohol over the marriage. I don’t mean to be harsh but I did it too. He chooses to drink. I suspect he never really (although I don’t know) was in recovery or either he has returned to drinking. That’s what it sounds like to me. There are some great resources on this site to help spouses of addicts. We’re all praying for you. I don’t know your husband but I don’t need to know that no one can make him drink but himself. Know that for sure.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 350
Originally Posted by soberandhonest
I certainly don't know, but these are pretty significant signs that he has returned to drinking. In any event, I am sorry that you have to go through this but it is absolutely positively 100% not your fault. Take care of yourself and your kids.
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