rebuilding trust

Old 12-12-2017, 08:01 AM
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rebuilding trust

my boyfriend whom I am enagaged to has been sober since may 28 mainly bc he got locked up and had to take drug court inorder not to go to jail for over five years. he is following his program and doing iop and staying away from old drug user friends but I'm having trouble trusting him. I was in the thick of his dope addiction with him and all the lies and manipulation that went on I'm having a hard time getting past. I have never talked to anyone about this not friends or family because I feel the don't understand and there first response is to just leave him. but if it was that easy don't they think I would have done that by now. its hard when you have no one to talk to about this and its been on my mind every day can I trust him do I trust him and I honestly do not know. I wish I had the answer to the question that has been eating me alive and I'm reaching out to others on this wed site to see how you have rebuilt trust or if anyone else is going through the same thing and having the same thoughts
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Old 12-12-2017, 11:05 AM
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I'm glad your boyfriend is doing well with his recovery.

Whether or not you can trust your boyfriend again is something you need to figure out for yourself. I believe that trust is essential in a relationship so it's important to decide whether or not this will work for you.
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Old 12-12-2017, 12:28 PM
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Welcome, caseybell.
Time will tell, I think.
If your SO can stay sober and work a program seriously, I think in time your trust will return.
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Old 12-12-2017, 01:42 PM
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trust is earned with actions over time. how long of a time? thats hard saying.
i encourage you to visit the friends and family forum(s) here, casey
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Old 12-12-2017, 03:13 PM
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Hi Casey - welcome

When I quit drinking, I'd let a lot of people down and I just had to wait a while until I'd proved to them that I wasn't that guy anymore - this was the real me and I was trustworthy decent and dependable.

I didn't talk about it...I simply knew I'd either fly or crash and burn by my actions.

If your partner is serious about recovery you'll see that and I'm sure trust will follow - when you're ready to give it

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