tekink

10 months sober today and here I sit wiping tears away from my eyes.

not sure if I should type this but I have to get it out. It's exactly like it was on november 9th.

My wife gave me the day off work (we run a business together) to relax and feel good about my self and she called me up three times to bitch at me about something that isn't really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. I'm still a bit forgetful and when I designed all the promos for our new years eve event I forgot to make the giant one. So I'm an idiot who can't be counted on.

Last month I ended up in the background of a photoshoot we did for an award we won, the photo was of her in a pose and i was leaning against the bar, I'm out of focus and it's actually a fantastic photo. She didn't speak to me for a day after that.

I sent her a text mentioning that she did this to me last month and got a 15 minute lecture about what an ass hole I am for making her feel like ****. (married 15 years, together 22)

This is a day that's supposed to be about me and I'm full of shame wanting to crack a drink just to get back at her. Most of the time she's ok but sometimes she can be extreme and tends to beat me down.
(she's actually aware of this and trying to work on herself)

feeling like **** when I should be feeling proud kind of sucks.

least

I'm sorry she's giving you a hard time. Congrats on 10 months sober! Keep going, it gets better.

tekink

She picked all these things up on wednesday, not sure why she didn't notice it then. I'd have handled the situation much better. I'm not going to drink, I know that's just a sneaky voice of the AV, it's gotten me in the past.

She's apologizing now at least, that came pretty quick

JoeCree

Cant you just edit yourself out of that photo? It's fairly easy to do nowadays.
Big banner can be made in a few days.

Gotta out things in perspective: 10 months awesome job

tekink

It's actually a really good photo with me in it, we used it, that's part of what made it so absurd she raged at me. She was just really really hard on me, unreasonably so. Once she got over it she realized everyone was right, it was a good photo. I just had to sleep on the couch for a night.

It just sucks to be made to feel like crap and insulted on a day where 30 seconds before it happened I was sitting on cloud 9. I don't think I'll get my head straight today after that.

PAWS already makes me an emotional mess, and I've been having a wave of it. At least it's been receding quite a bit.


If I was drinking and she pulled something like this it would have been a war, at least I can defuse things now instead of escalating them.

Upstairs

Congrats on ten months! Sounds like you have everything under control. 😀

tekink

Thanks, I'm trying but I still feel like crap now. the bliss I had from it is gone

I'm trying my hardest to let it go, but I just wanted this day to be a special day for me and now I feel like that was taken away.

Anna

It's a shame your wife is acting pageful and angry towards you. Have you told her how it makes you feel when she does that? I can imagine that you feel let down, but honestly other people don't really get our milestones. Congratulations on 10 months of recovery! I hope you feel better.

Dee74

Congrats on 10 months tekink

Sounds like the business is a bit stressful at the moment? busy coming into Xmas?

I'm glad she apologised. Hopefully you two can talk it through later and mend fences from both sides


I get it - thats a very human and honest thing to think/say - but watch that sense of entitlement.

I say that cos that was my downfall more times than I care to remember.

I've found there are very rarely any parades for me - but the more I stay sober I realise it's not about the parades...y'know?

D

neferkamichael

Tekink, 10 months is so FANTASTIC, congratulations. Around here it is your day, congratulations, rootin for ya.

Sasha4

Hey you

I would say don't react.

I remember my first year milestone for not drinking.
My partner (now ex) did not make me feel special any way.
It hurt, but I rarely think about it now.

I'm proud of you xx

tekink

I put myself back in my happy place, took some will to do so but it worked. I posted a lot more than normal these days. This recovery thing has really been a test of will power more than anything.

Dee is right, we are in an extremely stressful time at our business and I need to let her react without it blowing me out of proportion and I probably am a bit entitled at this point.

It's those spitfire emotions in the early stages of recovery that really get me by surprise sometimes. I do know that I share a big part of the blame, I'm the one who did this to myself after all.

tekink

yeah we are working on it, it's something she picked up from her mom and as she watches her mom deal with her dad going deeper and deeper into dementia she realizes more and more. As Dee pointed out it's a stressful time at work right now (we own a wine bar) and the holidays are crazy with parties left and right. she's stretched thin. having the role of scapegoat gets old tho.

I've been posting far more than usual today and it's really helped.

Silverback4

Congrats on 10 months that is really great.
Stress is a horrible thing and often people take it out on the ones closest to them and the ones they love the most.

Glad your feeling better. Enjoy your day you have earned it.

JustTony

10 months is amazing. You're an absolute inspiration to someone like me.

Thanks for posting even though you're having a bad day.

tekink

Thanks everyone, we did get to talk when she got home and she had a horrible day and was frustrated with some people at work and ended up giving me the brunt of it. It was one of the harder days I've had in awhile but I'm stoked to have one more month under my belt. Feb 9 is just around the corner.

I'm glad I was sober yesterday, stressful situations like that had a tendency to always spiral out of control when I was drinking 24/7