9 Days Alcohol Free....Again
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 120
9 Days Alcohol Free....Again
9 days ago I decided I had had enough....again. This has been a TERRIBLE year and my drinking, thinking I was coping, certainly did not help. I woke up a week ago just over being so sick every day and killing myself. My AV had control of me for too long. I cannot keep doing this or I WILL die.
I am not sure what is different this time, but it feels different. I have not had a single desire to get drunk in 9 days. The habit part of it popped into my head a few times, but the thought of spending money I do not have, drunk insomnia, and sick as death the next day has zero appeal to me. The thought of drinking repels me. It is ruining my life and my health. It has not contributed a single positive thing to my life and has made my life worse. I want to be healthy and a good wife to my amazing husband. My self loathing has not let that happen.
I know I cannot take this feeling for granted. I have been doing positive things including going to the gym daily and eating better. I have been staying busy. I even read a book this week.
Another positive milestone for me includes sleeping unaided. For the last 4 nights I have slept without a sleeping aid for the first time in many years. Not only have I slept, I am sleeping 7-8 solid hours a night. If you knew me, you would think that is a miracle. I have suffered insomnia for almost a decade.
I do not know what is different this time. It was like a switch went off in my head. I had a few months sober earlier this year but this time is different.
I am not sure what is different this time, but it feels different. I have not had a single desire to get drunk in 9 days. The habit part of it popped into my head a few times, but the thought of spending money I do not have, drunk insomnia, and sick as death the next day has zero appeal to me. The thought of drinking repels me. It is ruining my life and my health. It has not contributed a single positive thing to my life and has made my life worse. I want to be healthy and a good wife to my amazing husband. My self loathing has not let that happen.
I know I cannot take this feeling for granted. I have been doing positive things including going to the gym daily and eating better. I have been staying busy. I even read a book this week.
Another positive milestone for me includes sleeping unaided. For the last 4 nights I have slept without a sleeping aid for the first time in many years. Not only have I slept, I am sleeping 7-8 solid hours a night. If you knew me, you would think that is a miracle. I have suffered insomnia for almost a decade.
I do not know what is different this time. It was like a switch went off in my head. I had a few months sober earlier this year but this time is different.
9 days was big deal when I crossed it. There comes the moment of resolve in our hearts and mind to stop being stolen from any longer and we start to take our lives back. It is a wonderful empowering moment. Stay strong. No regrets!!
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