Gabe1980

I've been struggling. Left on my own for a night and Ive had 3 beers and some port my mum left. Thought Id have one then drank everything in the house. Plagued with beliefs i could moderate to relax etc. Why so stupid? Working tomorrow. Why? I was readi g a thread about chronic relapsers. Sorry to be one! I just though that little bit of relaxation. I've drank twice since august. Its just lies. Ahhh sooo stupid stupid. Dont know what to say. Im sorry everyone. I dont deserve to be here. But here I am

Anna

You're in the right place, and we do understand how hard this is.

Can you come up with some ideas to help you relax that don't involve alcohol? Do you have music that calms you, a movie to watch, a book to read, what would work for you?

AnvilheadII

this is the best place for you!!! you are not alone.

Gabe1980

Im very emtional and thank you for reying so soon. Ive sat for 40 mins and now all the shops are closed. I cant get anymore booze. Ive text my husband to tell him. Very suoportive. Cant belive state i got in so quickly. Food then bed

JJ991

Take care of yourself gabe, you are definitely in the right place coming on to SR.

Gabe1980

What a mess. How stupid to think I had any contol. I know recovery is hard. I just need to get that thtogh my thick stupid head

joandmelandhan

(((((Gabe))))) I've been where you are right now and maybe a hug will help a little.
Remember that plan we were chatting about a while ago? Please please get something down in writing soon that will help you on exactly one of those nights. Last night doesn't have to be the end of the world. Learn from it and get your emergency plan in place. You CAN do this.
Best thing you can do tonight is get an early night with a nice herbal tea or hot chocolate or just lovely plain old water and get yourself as rested as you can for tomorrow.
TOMORROW IS YOUR DAY GABE! Make it so! Believe this is possible!

JJ991

Right lady (meant in a very nice way!), the first thing to do now as far as I'm concerned is be kind to yourself. Think how you'd be with one of your good friends and apply that understanding to yourself. Sh*te happens, it is done, time to recover and regroup.

I tried moderating my drinking for months, I'd do well but then slip back. I think most of us have tried it and thought we could control it.

It sounds like you have a very supportive husband, let him help. X

PeacefulWater12

Sending understanding and support. be kind to yourself please

Gabe1980

I was so convinced the danger had gone and I could drink. What a fool! When i starded drinking tonight I though I wiuld be fine. Im an alcoholic!! Oh ny god I am. I really am guys. Im a hard drinking alchy. Thank you fir reaching out to me. Sorry for being drunk. Socks up tomorrow

entropy1964

So hit the rack early Gabe. That's a sure fire way to stop drinking. Get up tomorrow and start again.

Start recovery, that is.

joandmelandhan

You've learnt a very important lesson tonight Gabe. It's a positive thing if you think about it. Maybe tonight is the night you accept what you are and we're here to support you on your journey of recovery.
Night night Gabe xxx

Gabe1980

Right im done. Stupid silly arse but Im done. No control no mederation. Just me and my recovery. Thank youeveryone. This olace has saved my life xxx

JJ991

Bed, sleep. Tomorrow is another new day. X

joandmelandhan

It saved mine so Gabe I'm sure of it.
Great news you're going to give it a good shot!
Look forward to seeing you tomorrow xxx

Dean1978

For many (those who have accepted their addiction) it is the Alcolholic Voice (AV). That voice is prominent early and forever more but how you deal with it is the key to success.. It is never easy and takes work, some days esp early it can rip you apart but it does get better.

Gabe1980

Sobering up a bit now. Feeling quite ashamed but thats ok, i think. Better than going to sleep drunk. I really hate this. Im find it really hard. I know this is what it is. Im feeling like im doing my best. It just takes one night. Thank you everone. I come here every day. I means so much to me. Rehydrate and start again!

JJ991

Keep coming on every day, we are always here! Xx

Dee74

For me the 100% acceptance that I was an alcoholic was fundamental in my change from addiction to recovery - I hope it will be with you too Gabe

D

Hevyn

Gabe - I've done it too. Ruined 3 yrs. of hard earned sobriety with the stupid notion I could have 'a' glass of wine. Off I went - for years. You learned something valuable & now you'll be even more determined. We are here to help - proud of you for telling what happened.