IsadoraBailey

Hello all. I've been drinking for eight years. I've tried (kinda - you know how that is) to quit a few times or more in the past, but failed.

Recently I got drunk at a group dinner (with folks I go to church with - we all have A glass of wine with dinner) I had been drinking before I went. Ended up that I had to be helped home and it was embarrassing. Then I forgot to pay my rent and got a call for that. (to be honest, I've forgotten to pay a lot of bills) Several days later I had a friend tell me that she loved me and felt she had to tell me that I needed to take a shower, that I had been wearing the same clothes for four days! Gross. (I knew that I did occasionally sleep in my clothes) So I took a shower, changed my clothes and got drunk again. (not sure I was ever sober actually).

I got up about 2 a.m. last Thursday morning to go to the bathroom, knowing I would not be able to go back to sleep .. as usual...I had a bourbon. Then, for some reason, I had another drink (wine or beer .. I really don't remember which) At 9:30 a.m. I got up to go to the bathroom and could barely walk. I was all over the place. I've had two mini-strokes recently (yep kept drinking and that's another story!), so I thought I was probably beginning to have another. Then it started...dry heaves for over 12 hours. Have never been that sick. I also had a cough and sore throat, so that confused me somewhat on what was going on. Was I having a mini-stroke, maybe with possible food poisoning, or did I have a virus.

I knew I was pretty daggone sick no matter what. I packed a bag just in case I decided to go to the hospital. I googled "dry heaves" and found out that it's fairly common when too much alcohol had been consumed by a heavy drinker. I did a quick summary of the things that had changed in my life and THEN it hit me! You have got to stop NOW. I called my BF to ask for some of her anti-nausea meds she had from chemo. When she came over I had managed to gather all the liquor in the house and I asked her to take it away.

The next day was a tiny better, but I was sneezing, coughing, etc. and knew I had a common cold on top of my other problems. Realizing how awful my personal grooming habits had recently become and how dirty and cluttered my house was I started taking tiny steps to make changes.

I was afraid to leave the house at first as I knew I was in withdrawl and was afraid I might start having seizures or something. As I felt better, I did more research, made lists of all AA meetings in my area and even put them in my GPS (in case I was out and thought I needed to go to a meeting and wouldn't have the excuse of not knowing where they were). I made some calls about possible counseling. A friend brought me the AA The Big Book and I started reading it. I also researched help hotlines in case I should need one.

My BF told me to avoid the places I've bought liquor, but I went to the drug store and grocery store today and had no problem. I was going to a meeting tonight, but I had really bad leg cramps that started about an hr. before I was to leave.

I'm very proud of myself, BUT I'm also frightened that this has seemed
a little too easy. Is that crazy? I HAVE thought about a drink a few times, but all in all I've felt pretty good.

Berrybean

It can be that 'simple' - but it's not likely to feel consistently easy. Let's face it - you've only had a day or so of sobriety so far so you may not have had to deal with much life-stuff yet. That was what ended up feeling really hard for me minus the alcohol. Just dealing with the highs and lows of life. With relationships. Feelings about myself (past and present). And that's the bit AA is good for. Putting the drink down is the first step, and it sounds like you're on your way. Then can come a bit of a pink cloud period, followed by .... less pleasant feelings. If and when those less pleasant feelings come along, try to remember that if you work on it they will pass. And there are always people on here who you can chat to about it - and in AA.

BB

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, Isadora. I'm glad you found us. Quitting can be at once simple in theory yet very difficult in practice. As you said, I half-heartedly tried to quit many times in the past but deep down I knew I didn't really mean to quit forever, "just for awhile". But five years ago I reached a point where I couldn't deny any longer that it was past time to quit. So I did some Googling which lead me to this place and to AVRT.

I can happily report that I have been completely sober since that day five years ago. It hasn't always been easy, far from it, but I have kept it up. But I doubt I could have done it alone; I had AVRT and SR.

My advice to you is to come up with a plan for sobriety. What will you do when all your friends invite you out for drink? When you have a death in the family? A bad day at work? Something to celebrate? There are so many triggers to a drinker, you need to plan ahead for how you will handle them.

It's great to have you with us! Good luck on your journey. I know you can do it!

Unwound

Hi and welcome to SR, my earlier recovery experience was similar to yours; I sailed through my first 6 days and was doing a pretty good job of convincing myself I didn't really have a problem (my AV's plan to get me back drinking again). Fortunately some experienced and wise people on here talked to me and supported me through the whole of the next few months and I'm not far off a year sober.

So I would say first off, don't quit quitting, it's totally worth it.

Second it will get worse, then quite a lot worse, then better and keep getting better. I found the physical addiction not so bad to shake but the mental side of it really hard work. Do some things to commit yourself to staying sober tell your friends your quitting and ask for support if you need it. Find other things to do and occupy your mind so your obsession with alcohol doesn't dominate your thoughts.

I am very much a pragmatist whatever works for you, I didn't do AA just these forums but I'm probably bit unusual like that. There's no magic formula or great secret to quitting you just have to get through one day at a time and some will be much easier than others.

Don't feel like these early easy days don't count, they do; just dont be surprised when you hit some bumps in the road; it's not easy.

Good luck to you, I hope next year you are posting on here to someone who is just starting.

August252015

Welcome.

IsadoraBailey

Thanks everyone. I now have six days under my belt. Hooray! Not a long time in the scope of things, but to me it seems like a good while. I found some booze in my snack cabinet today. Got rid of it! A few days ago I'm not sure I could have done that so easily.

About when do the night sweats stop? (Of course I know everyone is different)