Mick75

Hi all,
My recovery is going well, been what 9 months now. The last few days, I just can't figure out why I'm so angry. Not upset, not pissed off, just snot flying, fist clenched ready to brawl with anyone any reason any time angey. I keep it under control at work, come home, I'm all peaches and cream, all is good. As soon as kids and wife are in bed it starts, I want to punch, break and smash everything. I don't of course but I want to . An example Sunday night, after everyone was asleep, I went to Taco Bell, at midnight placed my order, I watched car after car get their food, and here I sit in the dining room waiting , finally I asked not so polite where is my order. The young woman, apologized and said there was a mix up and my order went out the drive thru. I almost exploded with rage, she must have sensed it and got me the tacos asap. Is this normal? Please advise! This isn't me, I hate feeling this way, but is it part of process? My AA friends say yes it is, but it can't be, this isn't me. Has the pink cloud of sobriety moved on I'm so confused. Let me know your thoughts and feelings.
Thanks,
Mick

doggonecarl

I think my drinking kept my anger--or at least my rage--pent up. So when I quit, I found myself often white hot with anger. Especially when driving.

I had to learn to recognize the onset of such rage and work on healthy coping methods.

Frank14

I can't speak to 9 months because that's an eternity from where I'm looking at right now.

However, last week I stopped off at Chick-Fil-A to get dinner for the family on the way home from work. It was a really busy day and night with the kids off to various activities, etc., So I got the bags of food and specifically asked the guy working the drive thru, "Is this everything?" He says, " yes, have a great night."

Well, I get home and my wife takes everything out. She yells, "We're missing 2 orders!" I proceeded to smack a large chocolate milkshake that exploded onto the ceiling, microwave, wall, cabinets, floor, and my 14-year-old son standing about 5 feet away. It also managed to splatter on the kitchen chandelier and break a bulb...

I won't even go into my expletive tirade. My wife ended up driving back to deal with the order because she was sure I was going to kill the guy.

So, I don't really have any insight into your problem, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. And, perhaps your anger isn't so bad in comparison

Mick75

Thank God bro,
I thought it was just me, I can see all that happening that's how I feel! I'm staying close to SR tonight. Thanks for sharing.
Mick

Dee74

HI Mick

That seems pretty full on.
have you considered counselling at all?

D

Mick75

Dee,
I have and I'm talking with a very nice woman who is helping me address my issues. She's wonderful and it helps a lot, it's the times I can not reach out to her that I just get so confused. I sit on my emotions, and sit and think and sit some more. Then....BAMM! Here it is deal with it. I'm getting better day by day but it sure is a hard hill to climb. Thanks Mick,
As stated above I'm sticking real close to SR tonight, it's going to be a long night as I'm struggling and sober is my goal but this anger is blocking me.
Mick

tomsteve

reads like it would be a good idea to put it all down on paper when its happening.
where ya at in the steps?

anxiousrock

I can’t say for 9 months in but when I was about 1.5 in I was the same.
I couldn’t stop swearing, mad all the time at work, pissed off over stupid things like the cat meowing etc.
I really had to look at myself and tell myself it was going to be okay.
Everyone is different. You can do this.

Mick75

I'm doing my steps again, daily inventory is a God send, I'm doing it all over like a baby learn to crawal, then walk ect....the 12 steps are amazing all over again.
Mick