Trying to figure out why
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 2
Trying to figure out why
New to this whole thing. Really struggling to understand a few beers are harmful. I am 3 days to 60 days sober. But bought a bottle of wine 2 days ago drank most of it. Life is not easy. Can not talk to my husband when I am really wanting a beer. He just gets pissed off. Because he has gone 160 days and it is so easy for him. Makes me feel so low about myself That's a whole other situation. If I feel I can handle a couple of beers. Not quite sure how to handle this.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Cris
I don't know your backstory but I'm guessing part of it is not being able to stop drinking once you start?
Alcohol's alcohol - it made no difference to me if it was wine, beer or spirits - sooner or later it ruled me.
Can you identify with any of that?
D
I don't know your backstory but I'm guessing part of it is not being able to stop drinking once you start?
Alcohol's alcohol - it made no difference to me if it was wine, beer or spirits - sooner or later it ruled me.
Can you identify with any of that?
D
I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Lots of support and wisdom here. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome to SR Cris, I'm not clear if you are still drinking, or if you haven't drank for 60 days.
I can share that this is an amazingly supportive site. Also, most of us attempted the one or two drinks and found moderation didn't work for us, it certainly didn't for me, and goodness knows I tried enough times.
You should join us on the 24 hour thread it is a great place to make the commitment to remain sober for the next 24 hours. Also, think about joining the October class of 2017, you will find others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety this month.
I can share that this is an amazingly supportive site. Also, most of us attempted the one or two drinks and found moderation didn't work for us, it certainly didn't for me, and goodness knows I tried enough times.
You should join us on the 24 hour thread it is a great place to make the commitment to remain sober for the next 24 hours. Also, think about joining the October class of 2017, you will find others who have committed or recommitted to sobriety this month.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
how are you today cris2 ?
its the 1st drink that gets us drunk not the 20th
we cant get drunk without that 1st drink
our choice is between miserable unhappy drunken drinking and all the consequences
or
not taking 1 drink
God bless
its the 1st drink that gets us drunk not the 20th
we cant get drunk without that 1st drink
our choice is between miserable unhappy drunken drinking and all the consequences
or
not taking 1 drink
God bless
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 295
A lot of us were able to drink normally and stop after a few beers. For years. But then something started to change and we found ourselves able to control our drinking less and less. We tried all kinds of tricks but none of them worked. Control just kept slipping away and never returned. 60 days is a long time but once the brain changes in this way, it changes for good. Long periods of sobriety won't bring back that control once it's lost.
It's sometimes hard for people who've gotten sober to remember how hard it was to quit, or maybe they were very lucky and could stop abruptly. But it just isn't that easy for everyone.
Don't let your husband make you feel bad. Sometimes people mean well by being harsh. They think they're helping you quit by being very hard on you about it because they don't know what else to do.
Best of luck, I hope you continue to post here.
It's sometimes hard for people who've gotten sober to remember how hard it was to quit, or maybe they were very lucky and could stop abruptly. But it just isn't that easy for everyone.
Don't let your husband make you feel bad. Sometimes people mean well by being harsh. They think they're helping you quit by being very hard on you about it because they don't know what else to do.
Best of luck, I hope you continue to post here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
(Quote) "60 days is a long time but once the brain changes in this way, it changes for good. Long periods of sobriety won't bring back that control once it's lost".
Red, I dont agree with this. 60 days is nothing. The brain never "Changes" for good. It can always be brought back with sufficient time of sobriety. Admittedly, longer time for some sooner for others.
Never dash the hopes of those who are trying to restore there brains functionality to normal. It just takes time but it CAN be done.
DD
Red, I dont agree with this. 60 days is nothing. The brain never "Changes" for good. It can always be brought back with sufficient time of sobriety. Admittedly, longer time for some sooner for others.
Never dash the hopes of those who are trying to restore there brains functionality to normal. It just takes time but it CAN be done.
DD
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
That's a great point DuhDave makes. I was incredibly (so, so, so) sick when I quit. It is pretty close to miraculous where my life and body and mind are at 20 mo today. There is hope for every alcoholic still breathing, if they choose to quit, IME and IMO.
Do YOU want to be sober? It honestly does not matter what it is like for anyone else, which can be hard to "understand." IME, acceptance of MY alcoholism, and looking for similarities not differences with other alcoholics were critical- and very freeing.
As others have said, moderation does not work for a real alcoholic. There's help here and IRL and I promise you that it is possible to change the drinking life we had with far, far better living.
Best to you- hope to see you here.
Do YOU want to be sober? It honestly does not matter what it is like for anyone else, which can be hard to "understand." IME, acceptance of MY alcoholism, and looking for similarities not differences with other alcoholics were critical- and very freeing.
As others have said, moderation does not work for a real alcoholic. There's help here and IRL and I promise you that it is possible to change the drinking life we had with far, far better living.
Best to you- hope to see you here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Took me a little over 25 years, two DUIs, two divorces, a lot of legal and financial trouble, nearly losing my children and a LOT of misery and suffering to finally figure out why.
Because when I drink ANYTHING - I am unable to predict with any consistency whether this time will turn out awful or not....
And when I drink ANYTHING - it eventually turns out more and more awful.
Drinking NO alcohol has consistently brought be joy, goodness, abundance, clarity and a wonderful life.
Simple equations: Drink=Awful Sobriety=Wonderful
Because when I drink ANYTHING - I am unable to predict with any consistency whether this time will turn out awful or not....
And when I drink ANYTHING - it eventually turns out more and more awful.
Drinking NO alcohol has consistently brought be joy, goodness, abundance, clarity and a wonderful life.
Simple equations: Drink=Awful Sobriety=Wonderful
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