Gratitude, Thanks.
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Gratitude, Thanks.
Thanksgiving, The Dalai Lama and the Tao
.
A few years ago I agreed to attend a Thanksgiving Day luncheon at our local Episcopal Church. I am not a regular churchgoer myself but as I grow older (I am 90 now) I find myself increasingly drawn to what I believe were the original teachings of Jesus, a Jew, out to persuade his followers to stress love, compassion and forgiveness rather than cling to legalistic “rules”. His few outbursts of anger seemed to arise where he believed religion to be misused, as in the incident involving money changers in the temple, or if religion is used to justify warfare, violence, or hypocrisy, as with the Pharisees and Saducees.
At the church luncheon I happened to sit opposite a woman who seemed quite friendly at first. I had had a noninvasive aortic valve replacement earlier in the year, a four week stay in a cardiac rehab facility, a bladder and urinary tract infection which led to such painful seizures (three every hour) that in the middle of the night, forty eight hours after leaving the operating room, I had a frantic feeling that I had only an hour or so to live. So at midnight they sent a priest, who sat up with me for an hour and prayed that my sins might be forgiven.
At the luncheon (where only wine was served, no soft drinks, so I went thirsty) I felt exhausted and did not wish to stand in a long line with the other parishioners to get turkey and stuffing. My wife chose to stand in line and the woman seated opposite me accompanied her. I do not know what they talked about. When they returned with their food and the line was shorter, I went up and got my food. When I began to eat the woman asked what my beliefs were. I was frank with her. I said that I believed in the original teachings of Jesus and also admired some in other faiths, such as the Dalai Lama, and the writings of others going back thousands of years, such as Lao T’zu, author of the Tao Te Ching.
The lady responded “That’s not good enough.” “But don’t you admire the Dalai Lama?” I asked. “I don’t need him!” she said. Then she scolded me publicly at the table, (seating six, including my wife). “You, are a selfish man!” she said. “Thinking only of yourself! You do not love your wife. You are mean to her!”
I was struck dumb. I knew not what to say. I remember putting down my fork, standing up, looking down at her and saying, “You say this of me?” I picked up my plate and began to walk to another table. But I was trembling all over and, putting my dinner in a trashbin, went out to our car. I sat there for about ten minutes, devastated at the possibility that my wife had complained of me while waiting with the woman in line, had said I did not love her. (Later she assured me that this was not the case. But she had not spoken up at the table nor had she followed me out.)
I drove the car home by myself, having asked some friends to drive my wife home when she was ready to go.
Arriving home, I sat on my bed and took a betablocker pill, recommended by my physician if I became upset. It calmed me down.
I later learned from my those who had taken my wife home that the woman who had scolded me publicly had had a stroke, had lost much of her speaking but, after careful rehab, had largely returned to herself physically, yet not yet emotionally. So the poor woman had been ill!
A stroke, but otherwise like me, since for many years I was a so called “high functioning episodic drinker”. I too had been ill. We had something in common! So I asked my friends to tell her that I forgave her for everything and wished her well. Later she telephoned and apologized to my wife, but not to me.
We had something else in common. The woman who had scolded had called me “selfish”. “I” admired the Dalai Lama. “I” professed to follow what I believed were the original teachings of Jesus. The woman and I both believed we had a “self”, she believing mine to be mistaken and I responding in kind without saying so! The teachings of Lao T’zu and other Daoist thinkers say that the “self” is an illusion, along with everything else in what philsophers call the phenomenal world, which the Daoists refer to as the “ten thousand things.” Only theTao is real. But its nature remains a mystery. Tao, which is spoken, is not the real Tao, if written is not the real Tao. Only the Tao, unknowable but felt, is real. Everything else is illusion. This is so even for the “Self”! One of my former philosophy professors, W.T. Stace, examining this in a book on mysticism , suggested that, for there to be an “illusion”, there must be someone to have the “illusion”. To put the matter differently, can there be a “mirage” out in the desert if there is no one to be deceived by it, no one to have an “illusion”? Otherwise, to quote Gertude Stein, “there is no ‘there’ there!” Although Daoists may meditate and strive for a diminished “self” there must be some spark left or the whole idea of “illusion” makes little sense.
Do I believe in “God”? I am certainly not an atheist. As I near the end, the “Remains of the Day”, like that night in the hospital’s intensive care unit three years ago, I sense the presence of “something else”, call it God, or the Tao, call it what you will.
Great poets have written about such things:
Wordsworth’s “Tintern Abbey”:
“For I have learned
To look on nature, not as in the hour
Of thoughtless youth; but hearing oftentimes
The still sad music of humanity,
Nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power
To chasten and subdue.—And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man:
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things.?
Keats “Endymion”:
A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.”
W.
.
A few years ago I agreed to attend a Thanksgiving Day luncheon at our local Episcopal Church. I am not a regular churchgoer myself but as I grow older (I am 90 now) I find myself increasingly drawn to what I believe were the original teachings of Jesus, a Jew, out to persuade his followers to stress love, compassion and forgiveness rather than cling to legalistic “rules”. His few outbursts of anger seemed to arise where he believed religion to be misused, as in the incident involving money changers in the temple, or if religion is used to justify warfare, violence, or hypocrisy, as with the Pharisees and Saducees.
At the church luncheon I happened to sit opposite a woman who seemed quite friendly at first. I had had a noninvasive aortic valve replacement earlier in the year, a four week stay in a cardiac rehab facility, a bladder and urinary tract infection which led to such painful seizures (three every hour) that in the middle of the night, forty eight hours after leaving the operating room, I had a frantic feeling that I had only an hour or so to live. So at midnight they sent a priest, who sat up with me for an hour and prayed that my sins might be forgiven.
At the luncheon (where only wine was served, no soft drinks, so I went thirsty) I felt exhausted and did not wish to stand in a long line with the other parishioners to get turkey and stuffing. My wife chose to stand in line and the woman seated opposite me accompanied her. I do not know what they talked about. When they returned with their food and the line was shorter, I went up and got my food. When I began to eat the woman asked what my beliefs were. I was frank with her. I said that I believed in the original teachings of Jesus and also admired some in other faiths, such as the Dalai Lama, and the writings of others going back thousands of years, such as Lao T’zu, author of the Tao Te Ching.
The lady responded “That’s not good enough.” “But don’t you admire the Dalai Lama?” I asked. “I don’t need him!” she said. Then she scolded me publicly at the table, (seating six, including my wife). “You, are a selfish man!” she said. “Thinking only of yourself! You do not love your wife. You are mean to her!”
I was struck dumb. I knew not what to say. I remember putting down my fork, standing up, looking down at her and saying, “You say this of me?” I picked up my plate and began to walk to another table. But I was trembling all over and, putting my dinner in a trashbin, went out to our car. I sat there for about ten minutes, devastated at the possibility that my wife had complained of me while waiting with the woman in line, had said I did not love her. (Later she assured me that this was not the case. But she had not spoken up at the table nor had she followed me out.)
I drove the car home by myself, having asked some friends to drive my wife home when she was ready to go.
Arriving home, I sat on my bed and took a betablocker pill, recommended by my physician if I became upset. It calmed me down.
I later learned from my those who had taken my wife home that the woman who had scolded me publicly had had a stroke, had lost much of her speaking but, after careful rehab, had largely returned to herself physically, yet not yet emotionally. So the poor woman had been ill!
A stroke, but otherwise like me, since for many years I was a so called “high functioning episodic drinker”. I too had been ill. We had something in common! So I asked my friends to tell her that I forgave her for everything and wished her well. Later she telephoned and apologized to my wife, but not to me.
We had something else in common. The woman who had scolded had called me “selfish”. “I” admired the Dalai Lama. “I” professed to follow what I believed were the original teachings of Jesus. The woman and I both believed we had a “self”, she believing mine to be mistaken and I responding in kind without saying so! The teachings of Lao T’zu and other Daoist thinkers say that the “self” is an illusion, along with everything else in what philsophers call the phenomenal world, which the Daoists refer to as the “ten thousand things.” Only theTao is real. But its nature remains a mystery. Tao, which is spoken, is not the real Tao, if written is not the real Tao. Only the Tao, unknowable but felt, is real. Everything else is illusion. This is so even for the “Self”! One of my former philosophy professors, W.T. Stace, examining this in a book on mysticism , suggested that, for there to be an “illusion”, there must be someone to have the “illusion”. To put the matter differently, can there be a “mirage” out in the desert if there is no one to be deceived by it, no one to have an “illusion”? Otherwise, to quote Gertude Stein, “there is no ‘there’ there!” Although Daoists may meditate and strive for a diminished “self” there must be some spark left or the whole idea of “illusion” makes little sense.
Do I believe in “God”? I am certainly not an atheist. As I near the end, the “Remains of the Day”, like that night in the hospital’s intensive care unit three years ago, I sense the presence of “something else”, call it God, or the Tao, call it what you will.
Great poets have written about such things:
Wordsworth’s “Tintern Abbey”:
“For I have learned
To look on nature, not as in the hour
Of thoughtless youth; but hearing oftentimes
The still sad music of humanity,
Nor harsh nor grating, though of ample power
To chasten and subdue.—And I have felt
A presence that disturbs me with the joy
Of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man:
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all thought,
And rolls through all things.?
Keats “Endymion”:
A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkened ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.”
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Thanks Dee. The Chinese seemed to have had a sixth sense of ultimate meaning. The opposites, Yin and Yang. So also with the Tao Te Ching. There seems to be a flip side to everything. For example, it is a wondrous thing to help others. But the dark side is that there may be ego involved. And the feeling that "I'm O.K. You're not so O.K.! Let me help you! Console you!" Schadenfreude. The dark and the light! It astonishes me that 2500 years ago the Chinese were talking this way. Who was it who said "There is nothing new under the sun!"
Bill
Bill
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Originally Posted by least 
Thanks Bill! 
And a hug for your doggie, whose name I forget.
And a hug for your doggie, whose name I forget.
My dog, although neutered, loves women, humans and dogs alike. Bill.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Thank You for sharing this .
Much of today's inspirational , quantum mechanics ,law of attraction etc are really all in the ten commandments .
I judged a man on Monday who usually says hello and this time he ignored me .
Iv'e known him for 40 years ,used to work with him when we were in our late teens . Anyway I took it slightly personal when he didn't return my greeting on the street . While we were sitting at home later that day I remembered and told my wife and son . They both told me his wife died some months ago and hes turned into a virtual recluse only to come out to the doctors or chemist .
You can imagine how rotten this made me feel . Just goes to show how we hate rejection however slight and here was this poor guy suffering unimaginably .
Much of today's inspirational , quantum mechanics ,law of attraction etc are really all in the ten commandments .
I judged a man on Monday who usually says hello and this time he ignored me .
Iv'e known him for 40 years ,used to work with him when we were in our late teens . Anyway I took it slightly personal when he didn't return my greeting on the street . While we were sitting at home later that day I remembered and told my wife and son . They both told me his wife died some months ago and hes turned into a virtual recluse only to come out to the doctors or chemist .
You can imagine how rotten this made me feel . Just goes to show how we hate rejection however slight and here was this poor guy suffering unimaginably .
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