lookinforward

I had an epiphany this morning on the way to work. I have tried to quit multiple times and have gone down many paths only to lead back to the thing that brings me down (beer). I have been sober many times for month stents and for the longest a year and a half. But it was always a struggle...
I was wondering to myself this time....what is different? After attending my sisters 50th birthday bash this weekend....I realized.......
The difference is....I am not envious of other people drinking....I no longer ask...why cant I drink like them....Why cant I just have a few....I am who I am...I know what I can do and cant. I no longer want to torture myself. I no longer want to struggle with basic daily tasks. I no longer feel like I need to drink to enjoy myself.
Instead I feel more empowered....I make the decisions...If I want to do something...I do it....If I am not where I want to be....I leave...being in control of me making decisions instead of my AV is priceless.
Yes...it still shows up every now and then...but being incontrol...lets me tell it to take a hike.
Why did I post this here....because...if this middle aged Alcoholic that has attempted to quit as many times as I have can do this....You can too!
Peace
D

Wrandi1

lookinforward......Thanks, I needed that!

least

I'm glad you're having success this time. That's how I felt after my last relapse. I knew something was different.

Hevyn

Yes, I felt similarly after my last relapse. In the past I'd been sorry for myself - and felt deprived. I wasted so many years insisting I could be a social drinker. It was such a relief to finally conclude it couldn't be part of my life. No bitterness, just acceptance this last time. Coming up on 10 years, so it 'took'.

Thank you for a helpful post, D.

heavencanwait

Sound like you got this....it is called "the power of positive thinking". Fantastic...full speed ahead!

Dee74

Acceptance is a wonderful thing D.

D