Doodles84

Hi friends. Thinks have been ok on my end for the past few days by somehow today today the guilt has hit hard all throughout today. I've meditated, gone for a walk, said the serenity prayer at least a hundred times but can't seem to shake this feeling of shame of how many people I've hurt the past few years, especially my husband and daughter. Im not even tempted to drink right now but it's like I can't turn of my brain or at least turn on the mute button. Any suggestions?

Jules714

Forgive yourself!
Maybe journal and hit the shower. Stay busy. This too shall pass.
Jules

nova84

Hi Doodles84,

Maybe you just need to sit with this difficult feeling today...as uncomfortable as it is. We've spent so long trying not to feel them (at least I have) that it feels unbearable when we do. Difficult feelings are part and parcel of life. As has been said...this too shall pass 💜

january161992

living amends

one of the tools God gives us to right our past wrongs

oh yea ...

we get to stay sober today !

Dee74

Hi Doodles - its a fairly common feeling -especially in early recovery.

The thing is, you can't change yesterday - no matter how much we want to. But we can change ourselves

The best thing you can do right now is stay sober - there's time enough for amends and mending fences later...

I think actions are more powerful than words and the strongest action you can take right now is to commit yourself to staying sober.

You'll find in time you'll focus more on today than on yesterday, and you will know when it's time to make those amends and have them mean something to those you've wronged.

Hang in there

D

teatreeoil007

We all have regrets, every last one of us....even people who have had no addiction problems have done things they regret. We can't go back in time and re do it. We must go forward. Use the past as a learning tool, but learn to let go of things that only weigh you down on your journey going forward.

Yesterday I found an old diary of mine I kept for a few months 27 years ago. It was interesting and enlightening to read about myself from that time. I learned some lessons from that time; that experience. But that was then, this is now. I must just keep going forward. No choice. Time doesn't stand still or reverse. So, from this point forward, here we are....here we go....

I love that Eddie Bauer First Ascent saying: Everything you need; nothing you don't. There are these 'sort of' invisible weights we carry around with us. One of those weights is excessive guilt.

MissOverIt

Hi Doodles,
I can complete relate and am happy to share that it does pass. I was almost "harassed" daily by my mind with guilt and shame early on. Memories would play over and over again no matter what I did. So much so that I screamed in my car driving home one day, "LEAVE ME ALONE!". Everyone had forgiven me but myself. So I just kept (and keep) acknowledging the feelings when they would rise and they are much less painful these days. Keep your head up and I promise that they get better with more sober time

grayghost1965

Invest as much time doing constructive/productive/fun things as you did drinking/planning on drinking, and you'll find that you don't have time to mindf..k yourself - good thoughts

PhoenixJ

I get that. My fam. do not contact me now- so at night the guilt flares up. I do everything you do- and booze is not even thought of. I distract- by painiting, writing, reading and doing web research and learnin' about recovery and stuff.
Support to you.

Learninganew

I've always felt we should have two different words for guilt. We need a word when someone has done something wrong which has harmed other people. And we need a different word to describe an internal emotional that we have acted in the wrong way, even though sometimes we may not have actually done anything bad. There's an overlap between the actions and the emotions but it's not a direct case of cause and effect. Some people who have done bad things never feel guilty. At other times, people feel guilty about things they shouldn't.

D122y

Dood,

Sounds a like obsessive thoughts.

Those are emotions running wild. It means healing is occurring. Like when a cut itches.

I have them too. I learned to approach the thoughts analytically, coming up w a solution I can control.

That way, it is in my hands. Whether or not my plan works doesn't matter immediately. The solution gives me a plan.... a plan provides peace. I can re-engage as required. For me, I obsess about things that work themselves out 99% of the time.

Thanks.