leasha24

590 days sober today -

But some days I just really really miss drinking
And
Today is one of those days...

Trying to figure out what triggered this...
Memories from the past (the good ones, fun times with alcohol...)?
A television show I was watching that had drinking at a party?

Whatever it was... it just made me really miss drinking today.

I won't drink. Because I know I won't be able to stop. I won't drink because I'm too stubborn to give in. I won't drink because although I miss those good times, there were way too many more bad times.

I want to.
But I won't.

D122y

Lea,

I crave too.

I think folks that don't crave are very lucky.

I have lingering anxiety and spatial disorientation that remind me of the hell I endured getting clean.

When those symptoms go away I will only have my sober muscles.

Booze is poison. It offers temporary euphoria and lingering long term suffering.

The math doesn't add up for me.

Thanks.

leasha24

Love this quote - I'm gonna write this one down to remind myself

Delilah1

That happened to me not to long ago Leesha, and it threw me because it came out of nowhere. I'm glad you came on here and posted. I just had to look up my days, and I am at 586. I knew I was a few days behind you because I remember when we both celebrated one year.

You are one of my inspirations on here.

Hope the feeling passes quickly!!

❤️Delilah

Dee74

Hi Leasha

Congrats on your sober time

After I passed a year it became more and more obvious to me that I didn't really want a drink...

rather I wanted what I thought drink might get me - some respite, some relief, relaxation, fun...

whatever it is you're looking for, you can absolutely find it without drinking again

D

LadyBlue0527

Just went through this too Leasha. Friday evening heading out of work, lots of people walking around intown and sitting in the outside seating at the bars I pass getting to the parking garage. Nice night to sit outside and unwind from the week and have a few. Passed a girl coming out of the garage who was obviously going to meet with friends. She was all happy and smiling. I was inflecting my own thoughts onto her and remembering and romanticizing the old days.

Then, I remembered who I am and what I have now. I was formulating a completely untrue story in my head about myself and alcohol.

I can tell you first hand, there's nothing good out there. I gave up the goodness I had after almost 18 months. I then spent 19 months doing the downward spiral until I ended with the next bad tragedy that would lead me back to the realization that drinking isn't for me. I would give back every sip I took that time I was out if I could change what led me back.

It's never worth it. But, you're not alone. Glad you posted about it and didn't act upon it.

HTown

Good for you for posting. Hang in there, I get those feelings, it is romanticizing the drink. I just play that tape, it would be one in the sun on the patio after work, maybe two, the stop on the way home for a 6 pack or a bottle of wine, then drink it all, maybe get in the car and go get another bottle. blackout either way. next day wasted with a hang-over. my 1-2 in the sun on the patio would not be it. it never is anymore.

leasha24

Thanks for all the words of encouragement

Just woke up and I remember why I don't drink anymore - because I love the feeling of not waking up hungover or still drunk - After 591 days sober waking up clear headed still feels oh so good! Ready to conquer the day.

Maudcat

Good for you.
I'm four years in. Don't get cravings much at all anymore, but when I do, it's like a ton of bricks has fallen on me.
I go for a walk if I can, or do some yoga stretches.
I have something to eat, too.
I think that helps.

Michelle009

Leasha - Congrats on 590 days. That is amazing and you should be proud of yourself!

As far as the cravings go - The juice ain't worth the squeeze! What you'll lose vs. what you gain won't add up.

Stay strong!