I think I'm ready.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 111
I think I'm ready.
Hi Everyone,
I haven't posted in a long time, but I am glad I am back here. Never really drank before I was 21, but mostly drank to get smashed after I started.
It was in fun at first, now not so much. It's been about 10 years since I started in the business. I'm a brewer and responsible for the beer brewed at a start-up company. We're doing very well and the community really likes what my team and I produce. However, looking back on the last ten years, I'm ready to hang it up and move onto something else.
Sometimes it's OK, other times it's horrible. There's a lot of stress with my job with coworkers, having to perform, owner not being honest, etc. My assistant is only 26 and he has some major problems with it too. It's frustrating and very sad. Not sure if it's good or not but I am a workaholic and numb everything out with work. When I'm outside of work, I numb myself with alcohol. He's snuck beers on the job and I almost fired him...Twice, because of that. My boss drinks a lot on the job. Not a good environment. I don't drink on the job but after work it's hard.
Lots of dark feelings inside, hurt some people, thankfully no legal trouble (THANK GOD), but mostly hate myself. I am however hopeful because this whole experience has answered some questions I've been wrestling with for a while. So at least there's a silver lining there.
You can look back at some of my old posts and see what has been rolling through my head the past few years. (5 years?) I'm ready to hang it up. Through my workaholism, I've at least been able to make some contacts with some money, and can apply my skillset to something much more healthy. There is a market, I believe, where I live that I could fulfill my dream of doing a start-up. This would make me happy. (As much as the stress of owning a business could.)
I have no idea how things will work with my job, as I NEED to taste things to make adjustments to recipes and processes I hope I can be out of it in six months. Most of my coworkers know I want out, and some I've shared my desires about my next steps. They are supportive and accepting.
Looking for online (skype?) groups like SoS/LifeRing to maybe have daily or every few day meetings. I think that would help a lot.
All the best.
P
I haven't posted in a long time, but I am glad I am back here. Never really drank before I was 21, but mostly drank to get smashed after I started.
It was in fun at first, now not so much. It's been about 10 years since I started in the business. I'm a brewer and responsible for the beer brewed at a start-up company. We're doing very well and the community really likes what my team and I produce. However, looking back on the last ten years, I'm ready to hang it up and move onto something else.
Sometimes it's OK, other times it's horrible. There's a lot of stress with my job with coworkers, having to perform, owner not being honest, etc. My assistant is only 26 and he has some major problems with it too. It's frustrating and very sad. Not sure if it's good or not but I am a workaholic and numb everything out with work. When I'm outside of work, I numb myself with alcohol. He's snuck beers on the job and I almost fired him...Twice, because of that. My boss drinks a lot on the job. Not a good environment. I don't drink on the job but after work it's hard.
Lots of dark feelings inside, hurt some people, thankfully no legal trouble (THANK GOD), but mostly hate myself. I am however hopeful because this whole experience has answered some questions I've been wrestling with for a while. So at least there's a silver lining there.
You can look back at some of my old posts and see what has been rolling through my head the past few years. (5 years?) I'm ready to hang it up. Through my workaholism, I've at least been able to make some contacts with some money, and can apply my skillset to something much more healthy. There is a market, I believe, where I live that I could fulfill my dream of doing a start-up. This would make me happy. (As much as the stress of owning a business could.)
I have no idea how things will work with my job, as I NEED to taste things to make adjustments to recipes and processes I hope I can be out of it in six months. Most of my coworkers know I want out, and some I've shared my desires about my next steps. They are supportive and accepting.
Looking for online (skype?) groups like SoS/LifeRing to maybe have daily or every few day meetings. I think that would help a lot.
All the best.
P
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Kansas
Posts: 399
I read through your older posts and you seem like a well spoken guy who has thought a great deal about this the last 5 years. There does seem to be a bit of a progression in the way you're thinking about yourself though. You went from being annoyed by your drinking, to starting to see it as a bit of a problem to the following:
Those are pretty strong words and I felt exactly this way when I finally was able to commit to sobriety and make it stick. You seem to still have your mind on a future for yourself, you owe it to yourself to give this a real shot. I found that many of the other "problems" in my life went away over time with sobriety.
Stick it out, sobriety is it's own reward.
Welcome back.
Originally Posted by Cellardweller 
Lots of dark feelings inside, hurt some people, thankfully no legal trouble (THANK GOD), but mostly hate myself.
Stick it out, sobriety is it's own reward.
Welcome back.
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