I just keep on relapsing and relapsing..
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 20
I just keep on relapsing and relapsing..
Hi!
As the title says, I just keep on relapsing. Some months ago when I created this account, I was full of optimism. I truly wanted to quit, I managed maybe a few weeks without a drink. Then one day I thought to my self that, maybe I can drink moderately like "normal" humans.
Well as being an alcoholic this turned into a few months long bender. I learned that, If I truly wanted to quit, It's a commitment for life. Im no special snowflake in the alcoholism world, one drink and I'll be right back where I left on. At first I did not belive that, but now I do. I just needed to expirience that for myself.
As for now It's my 5th day. Havent had a good nights sleep during these days, sleepy as hell during the day. But as you guys say, it will pass- one day at the time
.
As the title says, I just keep on relapsing. Some months ago when I created this account, I was full of optimism. I truly wanted to quit, I managed maybe a few weeks without a drink. Then one day I thought to my self that, maybe I can drink moderately like "normal" humans.
Well as being an alcoholic this turned into a few months long bender. I learned that, If I truly wanted to quit, It's a commitment for life. Im no special snowflake in the alcoholism world, one drink and I'll be right back where I left on. At first I did not belive that, but now I do. I just needed to expirience that for myself.
As for now It's my 5th day. Havent had a good nights sleep during these days, sleepy as hell during the day. But as you guys say, it will pass- one day at the time
.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Guyfromthenorth!! 
For me Sobriety has definitely been a marathon rather than a sprint, something that needs the effort put in, and especially at the start, there's no switch that can be flicked that gets you there, but the good news is the more time that passes the easier it gets as we push out the old routines/habits and carve out a new Sober lifestyle and then that becomes the new normal.
Great job on Day 5, you can do this!!
For me Sobriety has definitely been a marathon rather than a sprint, something that needs the effort put in, and especially at the start, there's no switch that can be flicked that gets you there, but the good news is the more time that passes the easier it gets as we push out the old routines/habits and carve out a new Sober lifestyle and then that becomes the new normal.
Great job on Day 5, you can do this!!
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Join Date: May 2017
Location: Nottinghamshire , England
Posts: 2,567
Originally Posted by Guyfromthenorth 
As for now It's my 5th day. Havent had a good nights sleep during these days, sleepy as hell during the day. But as you guys say, it will pass- one day at the time
.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 514
Hi Guyfromthenorth! Whew I have relapsed so many times. Each time leads me to very dark places. Please know that recovery is not impossible, but it does take a village!! In my experience, anyway. I needed my AA community to take me in - and they did!! - and truly just accept that recovery is part of my life. That doesn't mean I don't have hard days... I have many. But I have the tools to deal. And they are here for you too :-)
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,476
5 days is great! Stick with it. I too relapsed over and over again until I finally gave up and realized I am not capable of controlling my drinking. If I pick up a drink, I'm right back down the rabbit hole. It's not worth it...but it's not easy either. There will be moments of feeling uncomfortable, worthless and weak. Knowing that it's a temporary feeling and there's a light at the end of the tunnel will make the difference.
Making up my mind that sobriety is more important to me than anything else has made the difference for me this time. Therapy, SR, a structured routine and prayer keeps me from making the same mistake I've made so many times before.
You CAN do this...make it your #1 priority in life, find a solid recovery plan and keep moving forward.
Making up my mind that sobriety is more important to me than anything else has made the difference for me this time. Therapy, SR, a structured routine and prayer keeps me from making the same mistake I've made so many times before.
You CAN do this...make it your #1 priority in life, find a solid recovery plan and keep moving forward.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: London
Posts: 2,040
Hi Guyfromthenorth...congratulations on day 5 👍👍👍
I was sober for 5 months last year then lapsed. I couldn't let go of the limiting belief that some special occasions I had coming up would be enhanced by alcohol...how wrong was I !!!!!! Although my behaviours and actions during my 1.5 year long lapse have caused me great shame, guilt and misery I feel that without them I would always have held on to that limiting belief, compromising my sobriety. Instead I am now 3 weeks sober and am truly and sincerely embracing sobriety.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
I was sober for 5 months last year then lapsed. I couldn't let go of the limiting belief that some special occasions I had coming up would be enhanced by alcohol...how wrong was I !!!!!! Although my behaviours and actions during my 1.5 year long lapse have caused me great shame, guilt and misery I feel that without them I would always have held on to that limiting belief, compromising my sobriety. Instead I am now 3 weeks sober and am truly and sincerely embracing sobriety.
Wishing you well on your recovery journey x
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