Embarrassed and Nervous
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 35
Hi Tertor, Just reading this and glad it went well. Drinking makes me extremely manic and paranoid. I dramatize everything, and I didn't used to be that way. I'm only on day four, and I really hope this is my last day four. But for me being completely honest has been working, as I wasn't honest at all with anyone for a very long time, about a lot things. I wonder, would it help you as well? I find myself incredibly curious for some reason as to what it was that you did that you felt jeopardized your job. I personally would appreciate the share in case it's a teachable moment. But only if you're comfortable talking about it. :-) If not, I completely understand.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by Tertor 
Thank you everyone for the support. It went well. No chastisement and nothing in my record ( I believe). I was very calm and I feel like y'all helped me be so. I am grateful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 119
Hi NewLife,
It wasn't so much that my job was in jeopardy, it was that I potentially could have had a black mark on my previously stellar record. Let's just say things were slipping just a tiny bit. I probably over dramatized it too but I take pride in my work and I feel terrible about the slip.
I too am committed to honesty and I was honest in the meeting. I am learning there is a difference between honesty, omission, and telling everything. I believe that if you say you are being honest but play with your words , exaggerate or downplay relevant and crucial circumstances and omit important facts that others need to know, then that is not real honesty. However, I also believe that being honest doesn't have to mean telling every person every single thing. Everyone has the right to privacy and just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean that he or she has a right to know the answer. The right or need to know is different than just wanting to know. For example, employers have the right to know if an employee has medical issues that are affecting their work but not necessarily the right to know what the diagnosis and prognosis of those medical issues are. This in fact is the law in my area of residence.
This is something I am just learning, as I have been discovering that my codependent self doesn't have good self-protective boundaries. So I took the advice of the good people on this forum. I was totally honest about the relevant facts. I did not play with words, I did not omit any facts needed to resolve the situation and I took responsibility for the situation.
I did not mention alcoholism or being in recovery. I do not think my employer had the right to know that at this time. If in the future I somehow relapse and my work becomes affected, then I would reconsider what my employer has the right to know. For now, I believe the situation is resolved and I will continue to work to my highest integrity and earn my pay check diligently.
On that note, after careful consideration, I also believe that I do not need to tell everyone I know that I am an alcoholic. At first I thought I did but now I have put the brakes on. I have told those who need or have a right to know. I will not be telling those who don't need or have a right to know. I definitely will not be telling those who I suspect would use the information to hurt me. Not being paranoid...just recognizing that not everyone has good intentions.
I am comfortable with this decision and do not believe that confessing my alcoholism to all and sundry is necessary to maintain my honesty. I believe that was the advice of the good people in this forum, as I mentioned above, and I am heeding it!
It wasn't so much that my job was in jeopardy, it was that I potentially could have had a black mark on my previously stellar record. Let's just say things were slipping just a tiny bit. I probably over dramatized it too but I take pride in my work and I feel terrible about the slip.
I too am committed to honesty and I was honest in the meeting. I am learning there is a difference between honesty, omission, and telling everything. I believe that if you say you are being honest but play with your words , exaggerate or downplay relevant and crucial circumstances and omit important facts that others need to know, then that is not real honesty. However, I also believe that being honest doesn't have to mean telling every person every single thing. Everyone has the right to privacy and just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean that he or she has a right to know the answer. The right or need to know is different than just wanting to know. For example, employers have the right to know if an employee has medical issues that are affecting their work but not necessarily the right to know what the diagnosis and prognosis of those medical issues are. This in fact is the law in my area of residence.
This is something I am just learning, as I have been discovering that my codependent self doesn't have good self-protective boundaries. So I took the advice of the good people on this forum. I was totally honest about the relevant facts. I did not play with words, I did not omit any facts needed to resolve the situation and I took responsibility for the situation.
I did not mention alcoholism or being in recovery. I do not think my employer had the right to know that at this time. If in the future I somehow relapse and my work becomes affected, then I would reconsider what my employer has the right to know. For now, I believe the situation is resolved and I will continue to work to my highest integrity and earn my pay check diligently.
On that note, after careful consideration, I also believe that I do not need to tell everyone I know that I am an alcoholic. At first I thought I did but now I have put the brakes on. I have told those who need or have a right to know. I will not be telling those who don't need or have a right to know. I definitely will not be telling those who I suspect would use the information to hurt me. Not being paranoid...just recognizing that not everyone has good intentions.
I am comfortable with this decision and do not believe that confessing my alcoholism to all and sundry is necessary to maintain my honesty. I believe that was the advice of the good people in this forum, as I mentioned above, and I am heeding it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
I think those are good thoughts, some things are truly personal and are only shared with your inner circle if you are lucky enough to have those type of people in your life. I'm glad things went well and you also gained some perspective. Blessings.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Sounds like you used excellent judgment.
The sad fact is that the working world can be dog eat dog and gossip is a fact of life. Your sobriety is your responsibility, not your hairshirt to don or your sins to confess.
Wishing you well!
The sad fact is that the working world can be dog eat dog and gossip is a fact of life. Your sobriety is your responsibility, not your hairshirt to don or your sins to confess.
Wishing you well!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Those are great thoughts! When I was on the sober 'high', I caught myself telling people that didn't need to know. Like "look at me!!I'm sober!!" Then I too pumped the brakes on that..In reality I was telling them "I'm not a good person to do any kind of business with...step away slowly." I'm glad everything went well with your work issue!
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