Stewy84

Genuinely sick of drunk but also sick of the cycle I'm in

Sick of it all

Drunk now, wasting time, pointless but I'm in an endless torturous cycle

Midwest1981

Stewy84- You have to do whatever it takes to break the cycle. I have seen you add up sober days! You have to get some support too and have a plan.

SoberNunn

Have you been to your doctor Stewy? Do you feel anxious and depressed ?

least

I wish you would consider inpatient rehab. You need to break the cycle of drinking/sobering up/drinking again. Are you going to do this until it kills you?

Anna

Yes, you need to do something different, Stewy. How about taking time for an inpatient rehab?

Stewy84

Everyone here is signposting me to the rehab....

It feels like I'm getting pushed into something I'm not prepared to do

Stewy84

I want support don't get me wrong

FreedomCA

You're in a mess and somehow need to figure out a solution. We all have been there and can empathize with your situation. You are in my prayers.

Forward12

You've been getting mountains of support and great advice, but getting drunk every day and posting about it, without taking any of that advice to heart isn't going to change anything.
If you don't want to get sober and waste your life away on drinking, that is your decision, but if you truly want help, you need to take the steps to make that happen.

least

Are you prepared to drink yourself to death?

biminiblue

Support isn't holding your hand and patting you on the back while you commit suicide by alcohol. You post the same thing over and over - this is on you.

We can't do it for you.

Everyone is praying for you.

Move your feet.

Dee74

Rehabs been suggested because, bluntly, you're floundering on your own, Stewy - you can't even get yourself to post here before you drink.

The only thing you're committed to right now is more drinking.

Not trying to hurt you, just trying to get you to see you're up to your neck in this....and it gets worse without some remedial action.

If not rehab you need to force yourself to take action for your own good.

what about committing daily to AA or some other meeting based recovery group?

D

SoberLeigh

We are all alcoholics here, Stewy. We recognize when one of our own is in over his head.

Please consider rehab.

We care.

Hevyn

Worried for you and don't want to lose you. Please get some real help soon, Stewy.

ZenButterfly

Sounds familiar... I hope you can get some help. I'm only 2 weeks sober myself but it feels good to be out of the alcohol torture cycle. Maybe you should see a doctor?

Opivotal

The only way I stopped my madness is when I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I was ready to do whatever it took. Didn't matter what it was, I was desperate. That's my truth ... what's yours Stewy?

No one can put the alcohol down but you. Was it easy? No, it took every ounce of my being not to drink that first week.

There comes a time when you need to dig deep down and make a decision. Is today your day? I sure hope so, Stewy.

AnvilheadII

I'm in an endless torturous cycle

oh the cycle has an end - it's a matter of whether or not you CHOOSE to end it (quit drinking for good) - of the other miserable options where you let the booze choose for you.

right now you are putting more energy and effort into drinking than in to staying sober. if you redirect your energy, your thoughts, where your feet take you, you an break the cycle.

drinking = misery.

CreativeThinker

Hey Stewy,

We realize that you don't want to go to rehab but what is the alternative? Your plan of stepping back into recovery isn't working. You want support, we're here...always will be but if you had real time support, that might just give you the start you're looking for.

Binge drinking and eating is putting you further and further into depression. Once you're able to get a strong footing again, the switch will be flipped and you'll be on your way.

However...none of this can be accomplished unless you want sobriety more than anything else in life. It's your choice...we all hope you make the right one.

Praying for you bud!

Ananda

hello,

I guess what I can share of my experience is that I got sober when I realized that however bad it was, it would get worse ... and when it didn't seem like there was a worse ... I would find it.

I would say go to the emergency room. That is what I did and they kept me in the hospital for a week till I could figure out a treatment place to keep me safe till I got some distance from the immediate need of alcohol.

They charged me, but then I could apply for them to basically write it off ... which they did.

When faced with the option not of death but of a stroke and nursing homes and all that goes with it .... well sobriety, no matter how bad it sounded, was better than the options.

I hope something will sink into your mind despite the alcohol.

thomas11

What more support are you wanting from this forum? I've followed this for awhile now and the advice you are getting is top shelf. Only you have the power to quit, and you know that. You're fully capable of it as you've done it before. Action. Action. Action.