sweetichick

I tried ringing my sponsor and all she said was pray to God. God if he is up there is silent when it comes to me. I spent 35 years in the church and it was horrible at the end because I got divorced. Did nothing to help maybe it works for people first time around but not for me. I have lost my faith. Maybe I am unhelpable. Doomed. What works for me is practical stuff. Like go for a walk or distraction.

MissPerfumado

You are not unhelpable, but you can help yourself. God cannot stop you from buying a bottle of wine and drinking it, God will help those who help themselves and who do the practical stuff, like throwing out the wine.

Nothing to do with church, everything to do with love. Like loving yourself enough to do this for yourself.

Easier said than done, maybe...? I know it can seem that way.

You are hurting a lot inside. You are worth helping, worth saving.

sweetichick

Thankyou miss perfumado. I am hurting a lot. You hit the nail right on the head. I always liked that saying God helps those who helps themselves.

Hopedeferred

Be brave & dump it out...for your own sake! Sorry you had a bad experience with a church, but a building does not make a faith community. Hope you can find one that's real...I've been going to Christian 12 step group and all I know is when I go regularly I start "winning the battle." When I don't I'm binging and on the shame cycle going downhill quickly. I'm going to make a point of going every week for the next year at least and see what happens...but there is true love & acceptance there. I can "feel" Gods presence with those brothers & sisters like nowhere else (even at church)! "Wherever 2 or more gather in my name I am there." Christ wasn't into being BS'ed and I think the honesty & empathy in my Thursday Serenity group brings Love near, our Healer & Lord. Pray you can find such a community "e

Hopedeferred

Sorry mistyped. Anyways take care and stay strong and look for ways to connect.

instant

Alcohol is silent too.

I had so many false starts - I think beating up on yourself can justify use - I came to see it as part of my problem- leads to the old "whats the point"

sweetichick

Sounds like a good idea hopedeferred. Don't know if there are any such groups where I live but will have a look.

SteveAlex

Faith without works is dead. You can do this!

lexylou

I too have had the same thoughts about God or a higher power. Why wont he let me be happy? Keep my relationship? Give me that job I wanted? I'm starting to believe now that every heartbreak, let down, disappointment is a lesson and once you accept that and accept that whatever tragedy goes on in your life could be leading you in a new better direction- that's when the magic starts to happen.
Drinking will only keep you feeling negative. Please throw the wine away- do whatever you have to do to stay sober. I read a book by Susan Jeffers called 'end the struggle and dance with life'. It's helped me to deal with negative thoughts. I highly recommend it xxx

noneever

God can't physically pour that wine out, but you can. A belief in God or faith in God is not a prerequisite for not buying and then drinking alcohol. You can do this, with or without God.

Soberwolf

Your not doomed Sc

MidnightBlue

Sweetchick, if practical stuff works for you, then go for it. Dump the wine and go for a workout.

I am an atheist and 4.5 years sober. All the power you need is already inside you, but it takes work to learn how to tap into it.

Stay with us. SR was my life-saver in early sobriety.

SimplyFree

Faith doesn't make things easy, just possible.

Dee74

Some really good advice here sweetichick.

No matter what method we use it all comes down to us not buying more wine.

That's not to say we're alone -there's enormous amounts of support around but we have to fight the urges ourself, and stop ourselves from drinking again..

Being disappointed in advice you got from your sponsor is not a good enough reason to pick up wine again - you know that. Everyone here knows that.

If you can't think of a staying sober plan to implement instead of buying wine, post here - we'll help.

You sound like a determined and dedicated kind of person who's faced a lot of trials and tribulations.

That takes strength.

I think it's time for you to call on that strength again.

You can do this - you can get sober and stay that way - but you have to believe it first - and with every bottle of wine, it gets harder to remember how tough we really are.

D

10r

Making it past day 3 and 4 were critical for myself. The shakes and cold/ hot sweats went away and my body was detoxed. That was the single most difficult part.
Hopefully you poured out the wine.
For you to make it 3 days is incredible. I know.
Instead of getting that bottle go to the doctor right away. Walk in clinic or emergency. They have medications to help you deal with that withdrawal.
Just my opinion but 3 days, you are just so close.
Hang in there

tomsteve

youre not unhelpable or doomed.
did you do what your sponsor suggested?
if going for a walk or distraction worked for you, how did you end up with a bottle of wine?
have you gone to any more meetings or started reading the big book?

idk about the God your praying to, but the one I pray to aint gonna do for me what I can do for myself. my God has helped me tremendously when I put in the footwork.

you called your sponsor- good!
how about going to a meeting or reading the big book? or even posting here before ya went and bought that bottle?
reads like alcoholism talkin, sweetichick.

Mizzuno

Empowerment is not about god or others. You can choose to buy the wine, open it and drink it. You can choose to get on here and express your desire to drink and not take action with those expressions. These are choices that have been made by you.

Before drinking:
Did you eat dinner?
Did you post here?
Did you focus on something else aside from the craving?
Did you let that craving subside?
Were you triggered emotionally and could not recognize the trigger?
Where you bored?
Do you want to be sober?

I do understand how hard this is. I had the HARDEST time getting off the drinking train. I really did.

bunnezjp

Doesn't sound like much of a sponsor.

~Bunnez

sweetichick

Ultimately I tipped the wine out because I didn't want to die. Thanks for all the advice. Next time I will try posting on here first. Seem to get lots of advice here from lots of different viewpoints. The cravings are still coming but plenty of housework to keep me busy and distracted. So today is day 1 again since I drank 2 glasses.

Dee74

I'm glad you tipped it out

D