Pianoman61

Hi all,

Off and on I been reading this forum and finally I decided to join and post. I guess inside I did not want to admit I needed support and can do this solo. How did that work out for me, not to good.

I started drinking alcohol regularly back in 2000,I was in my 30's. At that time I separated from my wife, left being a full time dad, and turned to the bottle. My life now has turned around 100%. My kids are adults and doing well, I am married again to an amazing woman but I still have that one monkey hanging on my back, it is time.

My habit is daily about a 1/2 pint of vodka. It is not like I am staggering drunk or hung over the following morning. The truth is however when I wrote a list or pros and cons of drinking my con list was very large and I had no pros.

In 12hours it will be the end day 1. I often will go a day or two without so my body is not complaining yet but I know that monkey on my back will be tapping on my shoulder soon.

Pianoman

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR!

That monkey can tap on your shoulder all it wants. Make a list of the bad things that will happen if you don't answer.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

skybert

Welcome Pianoman, from one newcomer to another
I feel we have allot in common regarding drinking habits. The step you are taking is never the less the right one. I am on day 81 and feeling better than ever!

Good luck and keep posting

-skybert

ExhaustedPigeon

Hi Pianoman. I like that you refer to it as the monkey on your back. I do too. Today is day 1 for me. I've had many day ones but this is my last. It feels really scary to say that. Wow.

Anyway, I read a quote this morning that I'd like to share with you. It's what is helping me along today. Maybe it will help you.

"When was the last time you woke up and wished you'd had just one more drink the night before? I have never regretted not drinking. Say this to yourself, and you'll get through anything." -Meredith Bell

Nonsensical

Yup, that's how the addiction works. It makes you feel like something bad will happen if you don't drink. No logic behind it at all, but a very very real feeling.

Congrats on your decision to live a sober life.

Shitzupuppy

Sounds like me with the vodka. Every day I'd have internal battles all day and then buy a 1/2 pint. Today is day 3 and i feel great. Stay strong!

PhoenixJ

act now- or in 5 years you will look back on this post......and if you DO act now, you will also look back on this post. Well done, welcome.

charlzwinter

I can relate to so much of your post.
- 15 ish year timeline
- divorce
- married to better woman and kids grown up
- daily quantity that was not "pass-out" portions but a dependency still

I am on day 5 sober after a 90 day tapering process to bring me from a pint a day to a 1.5 pin last week over 2-3 days.

getting over the 72 hour hump was my first big hurdle. I suppose everyone has their own story. If I get through today it will be my first 5 days sober in over a decade. It feels good.

There are many stories of relapse on here so one must acknowledge the power of relapse. Try to stay strong and ward off that voice - if you should falter try - try again. Breakthroughs can occur.

-CW

Pianoman61

Thank you everyone. I have been on other internet forums (non-recovery) and the amount of support here is an amazing thing. I am very grateful

Amazing to me how many seem to have similar experiences as mine. When I moved out almost 20 years ago I had to have a roommate for financial reasons and he was a heavy drinker, this made drinking a pretty easy escape. I am not blaming my roommate however, it was my decision to go down this road, he did not twist my arm.

I been spending time this morning on the forum and doing a little googling. Personally I think my issue is more of a habitual drinker then anything. I have quit in the past and did not have any detox issues outside a little headache that wet away in a day or so. I am pretty routine driven and my routine for a long time has been drinking after work. The hard part has always been permanently breaking the routine.

I found some good posts on developing a recovery plan. This is something I have not done before and I think personally would help me a lot to have a toolbox ready. As time allows I will be working on that.

Thanks all ...

HTown

A plan is a fantastic idea. Keep reading and posting. As to the quote above, please do not get wrapped up in labels. Habitual drinker, heavy drinker, binge drinker, alcoholic. It is all on a sliding scale.

We do not assign labels here. We do not classify you in any way. Telling yourself you are one thing or another, it does not matter.

Is drinking causing problems in your life? That is enough.

Welcome

Dee74

good to have you aboard pianoman

D

SteveAlex

Welcome!!! Time to give the monkey back to the zoo...

Hevyn

Great to meet you Pianoman. This place has been a life saver for me. Being able to talk things over with those who understand is so encouraging. We're glad you're here.

coming_clean

Welcome and good luck.

Outonthetiles

welcome Pianoman. Your story sounds like mine, except I should have bought stock in a certain distillery in Bend Oregon! anyway, you can achieve long term sobriety here. You're going to love it.

JimiC

I can relate to your story as well Pianoman. I made a list of all the negative ways alcohol was effecting my life and added it to my sober plan. Read here everyday and post regularly, the support here is phenomenal.

columbus

To some, a 1/2 pint of vodka won't sound like much.

But keep in mind it is def. enough to make you STUPID, unable to truly engage in, be fully present for, any meaningful activity

except voluntary stupidity.

Congrats to you for realizing this(!)

LossedLiss

Just want to say yeah for you!! I hope today is a good sober day for all of us!

PhoenixJ

All okay, pm?

Pianoman61

Columbus - I have issues with stupidity, without the 1/2 pint. It is all that much worst if I do drink, trust me.

Phoenix - Yup all is fine, sincerely thank you for checking up.

I do play piano by the way, not very well but I do. I am currently with a teacher studying classical music. My icon picture is not me in my youth, it is Mozart back in the 18th century. I should of known this (duh) but I went to practice this morning and it went much better then even when I was sober but regularly drinking. My mind was much clearer and my fingers not as clumsy. Yet another reason to stay sober, something to put in my action plan !!

More then likely my involvement on the site will be infrequent this weekend. I have a lot of chore work to do and will not be online much. This includes moving a ton of bricks (literally) from my driveway to the backyard. I will be online when I have time.

PM