Linz805

I am still sober. Almost to 300 days and I have almost lost my sanity for a few days! It has been really really scary. I don't really want to go into specifics because I am working on it with my counselor and have kind of beaten a dead horse at this point. I really thought that drinking may be my only relief. My mind kind of went in flight or fight mode with a situation and I panicked trying to find ways out and my brain literally wouldn't stop. It brought up so many feelings from long ago. I still feel shaky BUT I've been to meetings, I've cried, I went to my counselor, I went to walk with a friend, I've prayed... and I'm reaching out to you guys. Facing things from the past that I never have and not being able to numb myself. This can be a crazy ride. I am determined to come out on the other side !!

VigilanceNow

Hey Linz! I'm so glad to read your post! It is great to hear that you sought help when feeling weak. And 300 days, wow it's a great example for everyone

Maudcat

Thanks for checking in, linz. How can we help?

Linz805

Well all I have heard in recovery... reach out for help reach out for help... and I'm trying to! And people have been supportive. I feel better but I'm still so shaky from that plus lack of sleep and I thought oh my gosh my online forum!! I haven't talked to you guys in awhile

Linz805

I guess experience strength and hope. Not sure. Distractions .. anything

CreativeThinker

Hey Linz- Sorry you're struggling. 300 days is fantastic!

Hang in there... ~~~~~ sending you strength and hope! ~~~~~~

SteveAlex

300 days is amazing. It inspires me. Thank you.

Linz805

It's not that I wanted to drink but I actually thought I may have to resort back to it to stop the thinking.... I have not had this happen that I can recall in recovery. So scary that would even be a thought... luckily I have a little bit of sanity for now

Maudcat

Something that happened long ago, surfacing now?

SeaOfSerenity

what you describe sounds like a panic attack. have you had one before?

you coped very well with your feelings, exactly how we must in fighting our addictions. also well done on 300 days!

least

Congrats on 300 days sober!

Linz805

I am not super sure. I'm actually quite shocked I hve been feeling this way the last few days. Ive had problems in the past with being in a controlling relationship from a long time ago and i ran into a guy I knew way back when (not the same one) and he's in recovery almost 6 months sober and I thought here can be a sober friend but he began texting me a lot and really having no boundaries what so ever and being pushy but making it seem nice and I flipping panicked! I mean I thought omg I can't do this!! And I only texted him for two weeks. it hit me.... maybe I never dealt with those feelings of my past relationship where I was controlled. Anyways I told this guy I can't do this right now and he said he understood. But wow what the heck happened to me?? Also I quit smoking like 40 days ago and maybe I've just lost my damn mind lol.

Linz805

It felt like a panick attack... 3 whole days of one... I still have it slightly but not as bad...

Mizzuno

I think people who have their minds intact are the ones who say " I've lost my mind!". People who have literally lost their minds do not make such statements. They just go about their business never knowing or being able to realize that something is "off".

You are doing great! Really great!
Good to see you have boundaries.

Linz805

I don't think this guy meant any harm.... but it really set something off in me I haven't felt for a very long time. I really have to find out why so Im not prone to this again

SeaOfSerenity

you should consult a doctor if it is that prolonged to be safe and reassured.

ive had similar in the past where they were prolonged like that. it would come and go but never leave fully. it feels like insanity youre right but it isn't. youre not crazy, youre stressed and overwhelmed. eventually you wont be so much, keep talking and reaching out

Linz805

Thank you!! I hear you.

Dee74

whatever the problem I know you can overcome it sober Linz

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Maudcat

Hi, Linz. Definitely talk to your counselor about what happened and the feelings it triggered in you. Though they are scary, these feelings mean something. Finding that out is important to your recovery.
Good luck. Keep checking in. Good stuff here.

CoffeeInstead

I swear the nicotine withdrawals make me a crazy woman!!! 40 days is great, keep it up!