JoeCree

Im ~17 months now and just went on my first vacation with the family. My inlaws were there too. Every day starting at 5pm people were drinking, sometimes large amounts. Beautiful weather, sunsets on the beach, golf.. all triggers.

The hardest was day 1, but after that i felt so good just being myself. I excused myself from the dinner table earlier (as most people drank fir several hours). And instead enjoyed some arnold palmers and watched movies.

Mornings were wonderful. I went with my kids and our dog for walks while everyone else slept.

Now that im back i feel a new strength in my sober journey. My plan remains the same - reading here daily. And questioning HALT.

nmd

Congrats on 17 months and your successful vacation! For all we think drinking contributes to having a good time, sober vacations are the best

Eastcoaster20

I'm so glad you shared this! I'm 3 weeks sober and just started a tropical vacay with the family. Finding the days are going well but dinners out, I really wish I could have wine. Holding firm and sticking to seltzers but it can be frustrating.

D122y

It is a change in lifestyle.

We choose not to drink.

I have been on several vacations where everyone was drinking.

I was always the biggest drunk. Now I am the only one, of age, sober.

I enjoy the food, the mornings, the extra rest, the time to work out, the awareness, the energy, the confidence, the peace of mind.

Each sober vacation, I'm on one now, builds upon the next.

The wife opened a bottle of wine. She is a normie. She poured some in a champaign glass. Took 1 sip. Left the rest on the table.

It will be there all night.

Normies seem to have a quiet respect for booze. They approach it w such caution.

I would have guzzled that bottle in less than an hour.

Thanks.

Soberwolf

Grats on 17 months

JoeCree

yup. It really came down to dinner times. My wife is a normie - she'll have one glass and all is good. My in laws are heavy - 3 bottles of wine easily.
The key is to not feel obliged to "entertain" the drinkers. So if u find yourself sitting at the table and food is finished, then find the power in you to call it over and move on to next event.

I often just got the kids ready for bed. Shower pjs etc... and would lie in bed with them and watch movies. It is a lot more fun than hanging out at a table "wishing" to have a glass of wine.

The best way i described my feelings to my wife: if something requires alcohol for enjoyment, then that something isnt worth my time. I think my inlaws are both annoyed and proud of me. Annoyed because it shines a huge light on their addiction, and proud cause they know it is best for their daughter and grandchildren.
I was always concerned about being rude, but by putting sobriety first, leaving the table early also gave me a great sense of relief tgst im doing the right thing.

JoeCree

5his was my first tropical vacay since being sober anf it was just with my family and inlaws, so i found it manageable and fairly enjoyable. I havent felt strong enough to go with my old group - big drinkers.. and as such have declined a few. One step at a time. Good advice, and yes by day 10 it was much easier - so as always practice makes perfect.

Dee74

I'm glad you had a great sober time Joe

D

PhoenixJ

soberandhonest

Nice job Joe! Glad you had a good vacay. I'm guessing that your kids' vacation was better because of your sobriety too, even if just because you were able to be present for them and provide them with a little bit of extra attention.

I just finished spring break with my kids. On a few of the days, my wife had to work so it was just me and my kids for the entire day. I came out of it not feeling as though my sobriety made some massive difference for them - I would have taken them and had a mostly sober day even in my drinking days - but that the fact that alcohol played no role whatsoever made it a little better for them. In years past, I would have found a way to grab that lunchtime beer or early afternoon glass of wine, and it would have been on the back of my mind all day. Removing all thoughts, and allowing alcohol no influence on our day whatsoever, made those days better for me and for my kids. I'm very thankful for that. I'm sure you are too. Congrats!

JoeCree

Soberandhonest: yes your day with the kids (springbreak) sounds exactly like me. In the past i wouldnt have had a drink until the end of the day (i had enuf control to not drink when i had the kids).. but it was always on my mind, planning.. and yes the one beer with lunch type of thibg. Just stupid really. Basically I was beholden to my own thoughts. So while i was physically present i was mentally distant.

I have come to conclusion that I no longer want children... lol. 3 is enough. Ive just recently taken the necessary step to ensure this.