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12 years and relapsed

Old 03-15-2017, 02:52 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Ant73
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Well I'm an honest person and that's why I'm here for help . Day 5 and this afternoon rang my GP .I couldn't sleep a wink last night with insomnia with the withdrawals. I'm usually prescribed Diazepam for my anxiety problem and to help me sleep. As mentioned on my 1st post I was sober for 12 years until a few weeks back . I spoke to the Doctor to see if she could prescribe my tablets , as soon as I mentioned the drink she said no , you'll need to come in and see me for that as soon as I mentioned I'd had a binge session that ended 5 days back .With the withdrawals and no sleep I wouldn't of even made it to the end of the street let alone 2 miles away . She asked what I was drinking and how long . I was drinking 4% cans of lager . She then said , youve gone 5 days now you can taper off and just go 4 this evening then 3 - 2 -1 so like a fool I've ended up having 2 this evening just to take the edge off and hopefully sleep this evening. It would have been 6 days tomorrow. Problem where I am is alcohol is too easy accessible even if your house bound .We have places like ring a beer and dial a drink and they deliver to you. I'm really kicking myself I couldnt keep going but I'm not drinking anymore than I need to . Feel a bit of a failure after 12 years off it .
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:13 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ant73 View Post
Well I'm an honest person and that's why I'm here for help . Day 5 and this afternoon rang my GP .I couldn't sleep a wink last night with insomnia with the withdrawals. I'm usually prescribed Diazepam for my anxiety problem and to help me sleep. As mentioned on my 1st post I was sober for 12 years until a few weeks back . I spoke to the Doctor to see if she could prescribe my tablets , as soon as I mentioned the drink she said no , you'll need to come in and see me for that as soon as I mentioned I'd had a binge session that ended 5 days back .With the withdrawals and no sleep I wouldn't of even made it to the end of the street let alone 2 miles away . She asked what I was drinking and how long . I was drinking 4% cans of lager . She then said , youve gone 5 days now you can taper off and just go 4 this evening then 3 - 2 -1 so like a fool I've ended up having 2 this evening just to take the edge off and hopefully sleep this evening. It would have been 6 days tomorrow. Problem where I am is alcohol is too easy accessible even if your house bound .We have places like ring a beer and dial a drink and they deliver to you. I'm really kicking myself I couldnt keep going but I'm not drinking anymore than I need to . Feel a bit of a failure after 12 years off it .
I can totally relate. What has helped me after relapsing following long term recovery is to keep talking about it, read all that I can and realize that this deal is a disease that needs treated. Horse whipping ourselves is unproductive. Someone told me that and it didn't resonate until I backed it up with good reading that gave me clarity after several weeks.
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:23 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Welcome Tony! Hang in there. You can do this!
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Old 03-15-2017, 04:01 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Ant73
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Once off I drink I don't crave or have any desire for alcohol that's the problem. I was looking forward to getting to the 7 day mark . I don't know why I choose to go down this road again a few weeks back when there's other ways to deal with things and as they say you won't find the answer at the bottom of a glass and in the end it makes your worse , far worse. Ok , in 6 days now , I've only had the 2 drinks so it's not as though Ive gone on another massive binge for 2 weeks so a friend told me over the phone .I slept well for the first 4 days , I even had a drive to the shops 2 days back (sober of course) and didn't feel that bad but its obviously hit me today because I couldn't sleep a wink last night. On the day I packed it in I even put every drop down the kitchen sink to stop any temptation and didn't want any drink in my house again .I have plans tomorrow evening to attend an AA meeting and just hoping I can get a decent nights sleep so I'm able to go .
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Old 03-16-2017, 02:03 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Ant73
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Welcome Tony! Hang in there. You can do this!

Thanks, I didn't go any further with the drink , just a couple last night . I managed sleep about 6 hours so not too bad. Have a meeting this evening to attend at the AA which has been arranged and my neighbour who attends will take me along this evening. New start !
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Old 03-16-2017, 02:38 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Well done Tony on 12 sober years.
Hope you choose many more.
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Old 03-16-2017, 11:34 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Ant73
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Well just getting myself ready for my 1st AA meeting, a bit anxious but not too bad .Apart from the 2 drinks I had last night (silly I know) I've had 6 days to recover so not feeling too bad .Wish me luck!
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Old 03-16-2017, 02:58 PM
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I hope you'll find the meetings beneficial Ant

D
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