13 days sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 39
13 days sober
I'm new here. I'm still trying to grasp the fact that I even had a problem. I was a pretty heavy binge drinker, but I could stop at any point if I wanted to, so I am (was) not an alcoholic, right?! Wrong. Over the past few years I made a habit of going on 12+ a day beer benders, then quitting for a few weeks. Then starting right back up.
A few weeks ago I was in Vegas for a work trip and went on quite the binge. Went to take a nap before going out that night and woke up in a frantic, out of body state. I was disoriented, dizzy, confused. I had the most severe anxiety/panic attacks, I never felt one bit hungover, but felt like I was in a dream. My toes and fingers tingled like crazy, my heart pounded and I thought I was going to die. Hands down the worst experience of my life. I'm writing this so that I never forget just how horrific it was. I always thought I could just quit whenever I wanted and there would be no consequences, but it seems that's what got me into this kindling mess. This is my first and last experience with withdrawal. I promise you that.
I'm still having brain fog, fatigue and I still feel kind of out of it. This is a hell of a process. Taking a steady stream of vitamins and am looking forward to the day I feel physically normal again.
My last two weeks have been enough to motivate me to never drink a drop again. I know that my next withdrawal could kill me and I am not taking that chance. The hardest part I'm learning is to cope socially. Everyone around me drinks (friends and family) and I've declared to them that I won't be drinking again. They look at me like I'm crazy, thinking I don't have a problem, and attribute my "attack" to lack of sleep, anxiety, etc... But it's quite the opposite. I'm experiencing those things BECAUSE of my addiction to alcohol. I have everyone's support, but it's still difficult to sit around and watch everyone else have a great time and still be dealing with my anxiety/depression from becoming sober. Its something I'm forced to accept. I know that my automatic response to alcohol is God's way of helping me stop for good, and having a functioning alcoholic parent with a beer always in their hand is not the way I want my young kids to remember me.
I am steadfast in my commitment to sobriety, but it's still a daily struggle. I look forward to getting back to being my happy go lucky self and enjoying the blessings I have in life. Reading everyone's stories and successful recovery testimonies is a huge motivator and inspiration.
A few weeks ago I was in Vegas for a work trip and went on quite the binge. Went to take a nap before going out that night and woke up in a frantic, out of body state. I was disoriented, dizzy, confused. I had the most severe anxiety/panic attacks, I never felt one bit hungover, but felt like I was in a dream. My toes and fingers tingled like crazy, my heart pounded and I thought I was going to die. Hands down the worst experience of my life. I'm writing this so that I never forget just how horrific it was. I always thought I could just quit whenever I wanted and there would be no consequences, but it seems that's what got me into this kindling mess. This is my first and last experience with withdrawal. I promise you that.
I'm still having brain fog, fatigue and I still feel kind of out of it. This is a hell of a process. Taking a steady stream of vitamins and am looking forward to the day I feel physically normal again.
My last two weeks have been enough to motivate me to never drink a drop again. I know that my next withdrawal could kill me and I am not taking that chance. The hardest part I'm learning is to cope socially. Everyone around me drinks (friends and family) and I've declared to them that I won't be drinking again. They look at me like I'm crazy, thinking I don't have a problem, and attribute my "attack" to lack of sleep, anxiety, etc... But it's quite the opposite. I'm experiencing those things BECAUSE of my addiction to alcohol. I have everyone's support, but it's still difficult to sit around and watch everyone else have a great time and still be dealing with my anxiety/depression from becoming sober. Its something I'm forced to accept. I know that my automatic response to alcohol is God's way of helping me stop for good, and having a functioning alcoholic parent with a beer always in their hand is not the way I want my young kids to remember me.
I am steadfast in my commitment to sobriety, but it's still a daily struggle. I look forward to getting back to being my happy go lucky self and enjoying the blessings I have in life. Reading everyone's stories and successful recovery testimonies is a huge motivator and inspiration.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Congratulations on 13 days sober! I used to think that I could stop drinking when I decided to, but of course, that was a lie I told myself. I'm glad you're feeling better and hopefully your anxiety will continue to be more manageable in recovery.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Congratulations on almost 2 weeks! That is great. You made a great decision to quit.
Thanks for posting. I am 9 months sober and the farther away you get from those withdrawal symptoms it is easy to forget them. That is why I quit was because of the kindling. It is really scary the first time you experience that and it does get worse too. Eventually being around someone having a drink won't bother you and your anxiety will get better too. I definitely recommend exercising. That has been a lifesaver for me and so has church.
Thanks for posting. I am 9 months sober and the farther away you get from those withdrawal symptoms it is easy to forget them. That is why I quit was because of the kindling. It is really scary the first time you experience that and it does get worse too. Eventually being around someone having a drink won't bother you and your anxiety will get better too. I definitely recommend exercising. That has been a lifesaver for me and so has church.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 39
Thanks so much everyone. I am starting to get very anxious about upcoming events this Month. St Patrick's day, a few mixers for work, birthday parties for friends, a concert my husband and I have had planned for a while. I hope my desire to never withdrawal again is strong enough to continue to say no in social settings.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
Originally Posted by Dls2041 
Thanks so much everyone. I am starting to get very anxious about upcoming events this Month. St Patrick's day, a few mixers for work, birthday parties for friends, a concert my husband and I have had planned for a while. I hope my desire to never withdrawal again is strong enough to continue to say no in social settings.
Or if you drive there you can say "no thanks I am driving".
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