Anniversaries
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Anniversaries
Hi everyone.It is 6am here.I have the best alarm clock ever.A very hungry cat!February is a difficult month for myself as 19years ago this month I started divorce proceedings.In June of that year I realized this was not what either of us truely wanted,but by then it was to late,from my ex-husbands point of view.So by September of that year we were done.The subsequent fall out for my then 4 young children and myself spiralled to epic proportions,to include being homeless.Anyhow,my drinking career started around one year in to being a single parent.All I want to do right now is to take a break for a few days,remove myself from the scene of my crimes,this,my home town,to ride out the god awful emotions that come back to haunt me.I am 9months sober now.My question.Should I try this diversion this year?Previous years I used alcohol to dull everything.I have recovered pretty well from the events of yestetday,which are in my thread 'dealing with it'.Thankyou all so much for any advice.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a break - but I wonder why you're still letting events of decades ago make you feel these god awful emotions?
I don;t know what you've done in your past, but getting sober and staying that way is a great achievement.
Whatever you decide to do, make it a celebration of your success and your new found freedom - not wallowing in the shadows of the past?
D
I don;t know what you've done in your past, but getting sober and staying that way is a great achievement.
Whatever you decide to do, make it a celebration of your success and your new found freedom - not wallowing in the shadows of the past?
D
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,688
Hi Jojay, firstly congratulations on 9 months sober, yes a great achievement!
I remember when I drank, I wanted to get away from life, hide somewhere but just so I could drink more, I didn't realise this at the time. This may not be what your AV is planning at all, but alone, mulling over the past can give the AV the thin end of the wedge.
Try to be kind to yourself. You're sober, we can't change the past, it's in the rear view mirror. Try to keep your eyes forward, on the road ahead and your new life, sober.
I remember when I drank, I wanted to get away from life, hide somewhere but just so I could drink more, I didn't realise this at the time. This may not be what your AV is planning at all, but alone, mulling over the past can give the AV the thin end of the wedge.
Try to be kind to yourself. You're sober, we can't change the past, it's in the rear view mirror. Try to keep your eyes forward, on the road ahead and your new life, sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
I'm with Dee!!
If I wallowed in my lost relationships, I'd be deep in quicksand, with a single nostril poking out for breath!!
Done is done. We can honor it, regret it, or just have wonder at the chapter in our story!
If your being needs a vacation then by all means - listen! Go camping, go visit a friend in a distant city, rent a motel room in a place you've never gone for a few days & explore...
Valentine's Day can bring up love-losses without our even realizing that this sadness might be connected to the symbology of this day.
But - like Dee said (& Dee's a wise old bean!!) if you feel a restlessness, honor & actuate it for the you of now!! Just go somewhere new for a couple of days, be new, do whatever makes you feel alive! Sit alone on a beach & watch the waves roll in!
Sometimes I even take a day off work & explore my own city! I shop at thrift stores, sit in cafes, walk my dog in a distant park.
The world is all yours. Do with it what you will!
If I wallowed in my lost relationships, I'd be deep in quicksand, with a single nostril poking out for breath!!
Done is done. We can honor it, regret it, or just have wonder at the chapter in our story!
If your being needs a vacation then by all means - listen! Go camping, go visit a friend in a distant city, rent a motel room in a place you've never gone for a few days & explore...
Valentine's Day can bring up love-losses without our even realizing that this sadness might be connected to the symbology of this day.
But - like Dee said (& Dee's a wise old bean!!) if you feel a restlessness, honor & actuate it for the you of now!! Just go somewhere new for a couple of days, be new, do whatever makes you feel alive! Sit alone on a beach & watch the waves roll in!
Sometimes I even take a day off work & explore my own city! I shop at thrift stores, sit in cafes, walk my dog in a distant park.
The world is all yours. Do with it what you will!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a break - but I wonder why you're still letting events of decades ago make you feel these god awful emotions?
I don;t know what you've done in your past, but getting sober and staying that way is a great achievement.
Whatever you decide to do, make it a celebration of your success and your new found freedom - not wallowing in the shadows of the past?
D
I don;t know what you've done in your past, but getting sober and staying that way is a great achievement.
Whatever you decide to do, make it a celebration of your success and your new found freedom - not wallowing in the shadows of the past?
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Ps. I hope I didn't sound dismissive of the loss of a long-ago love, or of a very challenging road.
But, as someone who has also lost loves, been homeless, raised children alone - I still believe in the power of regeneration!!
I have grown most when I ask myself what exactly it is that I most want to do, then do it! If you raised 4 kids, a silent hotel room with some beach sounds mighty fine & well deserved!!
I think all of us are just encouraging you to write new chapters. There's no going back. Only the now & the dream...
But, as someone who has also lost loves, been homeless, raised children alone - I still believe in the power of regeneration!!
I have grown most when I ask myself what exactly it is that I most want to do, then do it! If you raised 4 kids, a silent hotel room with some beach sounds mighty fine & well deserved!!
I think all of us are just encouraging you to write new chapters. There's no going back. Only the now & the dream...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by Mags1
Hi Jojay, firstly congratulations on 9 months sober, yes a great achievement!
I remember when I drank, I wanted to get away from life, hide somewhere but just so I could drink more, I didn't realise this at the time. This may not be what your AV is planning at all, but alone, mulling over the past can give the AV the thin end of the wedge.
Try to be kind to yourself. You're sober, we can't change the past, it's in the rear view mirror. Try to keep your eyes forward, on the road ahead and your new life, sober.
I remember when I drank, I wanted to get away from life, hide somewhere but just so I could drink more, I didn't realise this at the time. This may not be what your AV is planning at all, but alone, mulling over the past can give the AV the thin end of the wedge.
Try to be kind to yourself. You're sober, we can't change the past, it's in the rear view mirror. Try to keep your eyes forward, on the road ahead and your new life, sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by heartcore
Ps. I hope I didn't sound dismissive of the loss of a long-ago love, or of a very challenging road.
But, as someone who has also lost loves, been homeless, raised children alone - I still believe in the power of regeneration!!
I have grown most when I ask myself what exactly it is that I most want to do, then do it! If you raised 4 kids, a silent hotel room with some beach sounds mighty fine & well deserved!!
I think all of us are just encouraging you to write new chapters. There's no going back. Only the now & the dream...
But, as someone who has also lost loves, been homeless, raised children alone - I still believe in the power of regeneration!!
I have grown most when I ask myself what exactly it is that I most want to do, then do it! If you raised 4 kids, a silent hotel room with some beach sounds mighty fine & well deserved!!
I think all of us are just encouraging you to write new chapters. There's no going back. Only the now & the dream...
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