Beelover1072

I read the book after becoming ethanol free, and it's cemented my decision to stay that way. When you look at it as a poison instead of how society promotes it, it becomes even more obvious to stay EF, IMO. Everyone takes their own path towards sobriety, and whatever works for you is great!

uncorked

I read the book but I'll have to reread it. I've been sober for a little over a year. AA wasn't the ticket for me, either. (I realized that I don't like being told what to do or how to view myself and AA rubbed me the wrong way because of this -- but that's just me.) Hey, go with the book, whatever works.

EndGameNYC

I wrote a response to this thread but decided to scrap it for personal reasons. I'll just say that, for me, the thread took on an unfortunate tone and tenor, in part by defining a superficial hierarchy that separates people based on objective achievements. Not to mention blatantly exclusionary stereotypes. Just makes me feel creepy.

I can't help but wonder whether at least a couple of people regretted what they wrote, or how they communicated what they were trying to say.

kintsugi

As I said, I think using the term 'high achiever' was a mistake (I'm new, and I'm having a hard time figuring out how to edit posts). I more or less meant 'people who stick to goals with relative ease and independence' or something, I never meant it to say or indicate anything bad about anyone else, and hadn't put too much thought into the post beyond being excited about reaching out to people who are frustated with the fact that they don't lack will power, but find will power in sobriety a struggle.

I'm finding the boards very different from in person meetings I've attended. There's a lot more tension here, and people ready to scrap over things. I guess that's just the Internet.

I'm sorry I offended you or anyone else. Achievement is a personal thing and defined differently for different people and I can see how this post makes me look like an entitled jerk in some ways. Probably because I am a bit of an entitled jerk, honestly. I used some crappy wording. I don't think I'm above any other person struggling with this. I could have worded things better. I just wanted to draw attention to something that helped me that I thought would help others in a similar situation, and used a quick off-the-cuff keyword without really thinking.

Dee74

Member can only edit posts for up to 15 mins after they post.

It was an unfortunate word to pick, but I think most people who've read the thread understand you meant something more like self-driven or goal oriented?

D

Maudcat

You're good, kintsugi. Keep coming back. There is lots of good support and info here. Peace.

Fly N Buy

Alcohol does not discriminate - it's an equal opportunity killer. Know many who went from the top shelf to the bottom shelf in the blink of an eye. One wrong turn of the wheel.......

Regardless of program, most alcoholics who recover gain a sense of humility. I am reminded when I read of horrific adventures others have had that those things haven't happened to me Yet = you're eligible too.

The founders of AA were incredibly high achievers. Bill W was a self made millionaire by the mid 1920's after returning from WWI , having been raised by grandparents of moderate means. He was one of Time magazines 100 most important men of the 20th century - so was Einstein. Pretty high achievement for an alcoholic - just FYI.

Good job on your sober time, keep it up.

Winslow

Congrats on your sober time and I'm glad you found something that you're excited about that's working I use the "wrong" words sometimes in my posts, rubs peeps the wrong way, when you wrote "high achiever" I didn't take offense, I thought you were implying perfectionist maybe? Anyways,keep doing what works for you

freshstart57

Welcome Kintsugi. I read Allan Carr and found it useful too.

I think books like Easy Way and Rational Recovery appeal most to those with an internal locus of control - we make our breaks, solve problems with the right tools and understanding and are not ever powerless. There is always something we can do. I am like that, and I think you are too.

Not all of us are like that, as you are seeing here. Some have become victims of circumstance, heredity, character, who believe themselves to be without defense against their addictions, and there is a full continuum from one extreme to the other.

Stay your course, strong in your belief. I believe that self doubt is simply another aspect of addiction, and separating you from these thoughts and becoming their observer rather than a participant is a powerful position to take. It is extremely useful in eliminating addiction.

You may find it interesting to learn that about two thirds of us get sober and stay that way 'on our own', without formal recovery programs. Just like you. So my hat is off to you, and I offer my deepest congratulations. This makes you a badass in my books. Well done. Now.......Onward!

Algorithm

I'm not sure I agree that it's only a marketing tactic, although the marketing, both social and professional, certainly doesn't help. I'm aware that much of Allen Carr's book is aimed squarely at repudiating both.

That's a very good idea. I also recommend the following book, which promotes the idea of self-discovery and heightened perception. It might dovetail with your plan.

Overcoming Your Alcohol, Drug & Recovery Habits by James Desena

It has some overlap with some of Allen Carr's ideas, such as the 'little monster', which DeSena refers to as the parasite, and 'the schizophrenia', or tug-of-war, which DeSena calls the Dual Mind cycle of addiction.

I don't consider addiction a psychological problem in my case, and I've not succeeded in disputing it away, but I still consider those two books part of the library on self-recovery, along with the material from Rational Recovery.

tursiops999

Congratulations, kintsugi, and welcome! I read Carr's book after I had been sober awhile, and I found it helpful and eye-opening. I shopped around through various approaches to sobriety --- SMART, Lifering, AA & working the steps, and reading tons of books. In a way they all worked, because I stayed sober throughout, but some approaches didn't really fit with my values and worldview, and caused cognitive dissonance that would have been hard to live with long term. Ultimately AVRT/Rational Recovery is the thing that made the most sense to me and to which I can comfortably make permanent commitment. That being said, I learned useful things from almost everything that I tried or researched.

I think I understand what you were trying to say. I think freedom from alcohol isn't a one-approach-fits-all proposition. We have to find the thing that "clicks", and I'm happy for you that you found it.