Day 6 and still chuggin' along
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Mountains, USA
Posts: 27
Day 6 and still chuggin' along
Hi all.
Haven't posted since day 1. Made it through Thanksgiving, having had one glass and that was it. Tried the taper thing, but I couldn't keep my pulse rate below 100 so I went to the ER and got Librium to help me taper off. That stuff messed with my head, but I stuck with the dosage but dropped the dosage way off after the third day because I felt like I got hit by a truck. I'm still doing one pill a day, but its the best thing I did because I feel much better but am still so fatigued. I have not been able to miss work.
Long ramble, but here is my question - I confided in my sis who is 10 years sober herself (yay for her) . At first I got some great support but this morning she started telling me how the last time I was out there (live in different states) she was worried about I was drinking too much, and spent too much time getting drinks at a bar ( we were at a function and every time I set a drink down, the waiter took it..... and I thought I was a clean freak, lol) and she basically judged me for behavior from over a year ago. I felt as if I went from receiving support to being reprimanded of what used to be. I got rather upset. There is a reason I don't open up easily and this solidified that.
Was it truly necessary to bring up the past when I am clearly looking toward the future? I've been stone sober for 6 whole days, which I know is not much time relative to most folks.
How do I handle situations like this? My family has a history of "I todld you so's" and "I knew it" which will make a person feel pretty low.
Thoughts?
Haven't posted since day 1. Made it through Thanksgiving, having had one glass and that was it. Tried the taper thing, but I couldn't keep my pulse rate below 100 so I went to the ER and got Librium to help me taper off. That stuff messed with my head, but I stuck with the dosage but dropped the dosage way off after the third day because I felt like I got hit by a truck. I'm still doing one pill a day, but its the best thing I did because I feel much better but am still so fatigued. I have not been able to miss work.
Long ramble, but here is my question - I confided in my sis who is 10 years sober herself (yay for her) . At first I got some great support but this morning she started telling me how the last time I was out there (live in different states) she was worried about I was drinking too much, and spent too much time getting drinks at a bar ( we were at a function and every time I set a drink down, the waiter took it..... and I thought I was a clean freak, lol) and she basically judged me for behavior from over a year ago. I felt as if I went from receiving support to being reprimanded of what used to be. I got rather upset. There is a reason I don't open up easily and this solidified that.
Was it truly necessary to bring up the past when I am clearly looking toward the future? I've been stone sober for 6 whole days, which I know is not much time relative to most folks.
How do I handle situations like this? My family has a history of "I todld you so's" and "I knew it" which will make a person feel pretty low.
Thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Congrats on 6 days. That is awesome. And I'm with you with respect to benzos...they make me feel awful. But they soften detox, and make it much safer.
Well, family. Can't live with em, can't shoot em. They is what they is. I'm always amazed by mine. I believe that each of us are really good people, outside the dysfunctional family dynamic (my childhood experience was, ehem, unique...and insane). But when we get together everyone assumes their roles and starts right back in with the craziness. I am as guilty as the rest of em. Frankly, I think talking with them about anything just invites resentment. I believe we are taught that family should be the ones that support us unconditionally, love us for who we are, have our backs. My experience has been that that simply isn't true....like at all. I'm sure that isn't always true, far from it. But if ya know that you're going to get the past slapped in your face, or an I told ya so, then well, you know. So avoid those situations.
Your sister sounds like she's harboring a resentment toward you and is't able to process this in a sensitive and diplomatic way. I dunno. If its really bothering you maybe walk back through that day she brings up and see what you own. Look at your side of the street. Other than that you just have to let it go.
Well, family. Can't live with em, can't shoot em. They is what they is. I'm always amazed by mine. I believe that each of us are really good people, outside the dysfunctional family dynamic (my childhood experience was, ehem, unique...and insane). But when we get together everyone assumes their roles and starts right back in with the craziness. I am as guilty as the rest of em. Frankly, I think talking with them about anything just invites resentment. I believe we are taught that family should be the ones that support us unconditionally, love us for who we are, have our backs. My experience has been that that simply isn't true....like at all. I'm sure that isn't always true, far from it. But if ya know that you're going to get the past slapped in your face, or an I told ya so, then well, you know. So avoid those situations.
Your sister sounds like she's harboring a resentment toward you and is't able to process this in a sensitive and diplomatic way. I dunno. If its really bothering you maybe walk back through that day she brings up and see what you own. Look at your side of the street. Other than that you just have to let it go.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I learned pretty early on I can't control other people. That goes double with family.
I had some consequences coming from my drinking - some were fair enough, other were less so but I had to own them all.
You just gotta take the high road, smile, and hold your head high.
Stay sober and hopefully, in a little while, sober you is all folks will remember.
D
I had some consequences coming from my drinking - some were fair enough, other were less so but I had to own them all.
You just gotta take the high road, smile, and hold your head high.
Stay sober and hopefully, in a little while, sober you is all folks will remember.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Good for you on your 6 days. I would imagine everything is still pretty raw at 6 days. I'm not saying your feelings aren't justified, but I think maybe it would be helpful to continue to focus on the great things you have going.
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