Not sure what to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 14
Not sure what to do
I first started drinking heavily and regularly 4-5 years ago (I am now 22). Since then, I have frequently found myself wondering whether or not my drinking has turned into a problem, but ending up not doing much to find an answer or seek assistance.
I know I drink most days, not every day as I live with my boyfriend and I don't want to "seem like an alcoholic", but from when I have my first sip of anything alcoholic I find it impossible - physically and mentally - to stop.
Yesterday we went out for drinks with family (early evening/late afternoon) and I decided to try not to have another drink when we got home (as an experiment, as I always pick up some more on the way home), but found myself feeling and acting increasingly annoyed and aggressive. It is 6 pm here now and I've had a couple and have now run out, not able to restock before going to an appointment in an hour and am feeling the same way. I might head off a bit earlier and stop by the pub beforehand and get a bottle of wine on my way home. I don't know.
Drinking seems to be my main source of pleasure and excitement and I don't necessarily want to quit, but I don't know how to cut down either, as I think about drinking all the time. I've never had my rock bottom or anything like that but I would very much like to be okay without this intense urge to drink and the guilt that follows a night of drinking. Is there anything I can do about this? I literally have no idea what this means and am absolutely clueless as to where to begin.
I know I drink most days, not every day as I live with my boyfriend and I don't want to "seem like an alcoholic", but from when I have my first sip of anything alcoholic I find it impossible - physically and mentally - to stop.
Yesterday we went out for drinks with family (early evening/late afternoon) and I decided to try not to have another drink when we got home (as an experiment, as I always pick up some more on the way home), but found myself feeling and acting increasingly annoyed and aggressive. It is 6 pm here now and I've had a couple and have now run out, not able to restock before going to an appointment in an hour and am feeling the same way. I might head off a bit earlier and stop by the pub beforehand and get a bottle of wine on my way home. I don't know.
Drinking seems to be my main source of pleasure and excitement and I don't necessarily want to quit, but I don't know how to cut down either, as I think about drinking all the time. I've never had my rock bottom or anything like that but I would very much like to be okay without this intense urge to drink and the guilt that follows a night of drinking. Is there anything I can do about this? I literally have no idea what this means and am absolutely clueless as to where to begin.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Carmen. I think it's good that you are investigating what to do at such a young age. At the end of the day, you are the one that will need to make a decision as to whether or not you think drinking is a problem for you. I can tell you that there are many "red flags" in your post that would indicate that it is a problem, I'll highlight a few:
1. You "think about drinking all the time"
2. You don't want to "seem like an alcoholic"
3. You drink on "most days"
4. You "frequently wonder whether or not my drinking has turned into a problem"
5. After you have your first sip "I find it impossible - physically and mentally to stop". That one is probably the biggest one I see - and for me a very clear indication that you are probably addicted
You say that you are clueless as to where to begin, but you've actually already begun by coming here. If you feel that quitting is something you'd like to try, you will find a lot of support here for that. I hope you can take some time to really look closely at where you are and make a decision. "Rock bottom" is really just a concept - and there is no reason to wait for anything else to happen if you do want to quit now.
1. You "think about drinking all the time"
2. You don't want to "seem like an alcoholic"
3. You drink on "most days"
4. You "frequently wonder whether or not my drinking has turned into a problem"
5. After you have your first sip "I find it impossible - physically and mentally to stop". That one is probably the biggest one I see - and for me a very clear indication that you are probably addicted
You say that you are clueless as to where to begin, but you've actually already begun by coming here. If you feel that quitting is something you'd like to try, you will find a lot of support here for that. I hope you can take some time to really look closely at where you are and make a decision. "Rock bottom" is really just a concept - and there is no reason to wait for anything else to happen if you do want to quit now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
It sounds to me as if alcohol is running the show in your life. I remember the days of endless planning about where to buy alcohol, how much, when, could I fit it in after work, and on and on. It was horrifying to see that I was giving alcohol precedence over everything and everyone in my life.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking, to reclaim your life.
I hope that you decide to stop drinking, to reclaim your life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
Welcome Carmen, I think you know the answer to your question. As Scott said, you've come here to seek advice.
Most of us have the problem you do with regards to once the first drink is in, it's almost impossible to stop. The advantage you have over a lot of us is that you are looking to do something about it now.
I can't tell you it's going to be easy, but it has definitely been worth it for me, so I'd encourage you to think seriously about stopping.
I'd love to be able to drink sensibly but the fact is, I can't, so may as well focus on not drinking instead. My life has been a lot happier since I stopped and I'm only 8 weeks in.
Most of us have the problem you do with regards to once the first drink is in, it's almost impossible to stop. The advantage you have over a lot of us is that you are looking to do something about it now.
I can't tell you it's going to be easy, but it has definitely been worth it for me, so I'd encourage you to think seriously about stopping.
I'd love to be able to drink sensibly but the fact is, I can't, so may as well focus on not drinking instead. My life has been a lot happier since I stopped and I'm only 8 weeks in.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 14
Thank you all for the insight, advice and the welcome backs (I have indeed been on here before, about three years ago, but that didn't work out, clearly). I think I find it particularly hard to be a young person and a woman in this situation, as a lot of my peers drink heavily recreationally without any problems and I fall outside the stereotypical demographic of problem drinkers or addicts the way society tends to see it.
I did by the way stop at a Sainsbury's when I left and got two cans of pre-mixed gin and tonic, poured it in my water bottle (can pass as diet lemonade which I have a lot), and drank it through my therapy session... Now I'm back home with two bottles of wine in front of me. Have started drinking so I know I won't stop tonight but I'll definitely try to look through the forums on this site. (Are you supposed to talk about drinking on here? I feel like if I was sober-sober I wouldn't like listening to other people talking about that. I apologise if I'm being inappropriate - don't quite know the rules around here yet.)
That being said, has anyone had any positive experience seeking assistance from their GP? Mine is lovely and has always been very helpful in terms of general mental health problems but I don't know if the public health system had anything in particular to contribute with in terms of drinking that would be constructive. Sorry if I'm rambling on, it's just nice to finally be able to reach out to people who might understand.
I did by the way stop at a Sainsbury's when I left and got two cans of pre-mixed gin and tonic, poured it in my water bottle (can pass as diet lemonade which I have a lot), and drank it through my therapy session... Now I'm back home with two bottles of wine in front of me. Have started drinking so I know I won't stop tonight but I'll definitely try to look through the forums on this site. (Are you supposed to talk about drinking on here? I feel like if I was sober-sober I wouldn't like listening to other people talking about that. I apologise if I'm being inappropriate - don't quite know the rules around here yet.)
That being said, has anyone had any positive experience seeking assistance from their GP? Mine is lovely and has always been very helpful in terms of general mental health problems but I don't know if the public health system had anything in particular to contribute with in terms of drinking that would be constructive. Sorry if I'm rambling on, it's just nice to finally be able to reach out to people who might understand.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome back! I'm not sure that it's important to put a label on your behavior, but clearly your drinking has become a problem. You are wise to address it at a young age. By the time I was 25 I began to understand that I didn't drink like 'normal' people but I made excuses to myself for almost 20 more years before I stopped.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Welcome back Carmen. I think it's good that you are investigating what to do at such a young age. At the end of the day, you are the one that will need to make a decision as to whether or not you think drinking is a problem for you. I can tell you that there are many "red flags" in your post that would indicate that it is a problem, I'll highlight a few:
1. You "think about drinking all the time"
2. You don't want to "seem like an alcoholic"
3. You drink on "most days"
4. You "frequently wonder whether or not my drinking has turned into a problem"
5. After you have your first sip "I find it impossible - physically and mentally to stop". That one is probably the biggest one I see - and for me a very clear indication that you are probably addicted
You say that you are clueless as to where to begin, but you've actually already begun by coming here. If you feel that quitting is something you'd like to try, you will find a lot of support here for that. I hope you can take some time to really look closely at where you are and make a decision. "Rock bottom" is really just a concept - and there is no reason to wait for anything else to happen if you do want to quit now.
1. You "think about drinking all the time"
2. You don't want to "seem like an alcoholic"
3. You drink on "most days"
4. You "frequently wonder whether or not my drinking has turned into a problem"
5. After you have your first sip "I find it impossible - physically and mentally to stop". That one is probably the biggest one I see - and for me a very clear indication that you are probably addicted
You say that you are clueless as to where to begin, but you've actually already begun by coming here. If you feel that quitting is something you'd like to try, you will find a lot of support here for that. I hope you can take some time to really look closely at where you are and make a decision. "Rock bottom" is really just a concept - and there is no reason to wait for anything else to happen if you do want to quit now.
You say you don't fit the stereotypical demographic of problem drinkers. But the stereotype is just that - a stereotype. Addiction knows no boundaries. Anyone at any age, any socioeconomic class, any gender, any educational level can become addicted to substances. But I'm sure you realize that. The fact that you are even here seeking advice speaks volumes. You know deep down inside you have a problem.
There's tons of support here, if you decide you want to quit. And I hope you do - you have your whole life ahead of you and I hate to see young people limit themselves and their potential because they get wrapped up in alcohol and/or drugs. Stick around and you'll see that true freedom from alcohol is possible, and it's wonderful.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I did by the way stop at a Sainsbury's when I left and got two cans of pre-mixed gin and tonic, poured it in my water bottle (can pass as diet lemonade which I have a lot), and drank it through my therapy session... Now I'm back home with two bottles of wine in front of me
I would very much like to be okay without this intense urge to drink and the guilt that follows a night of drinking. Is there anything I can do about this?
You're young and you can turn things around and have an excellent chance of a full recovery with little to no longterm health issues...please do see your GP and be honest.
Ask for help.
Stick around here too
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
I was in your shoes when I was about 25. I loved drinking, and was drinking about 5 days a week. I knew something was wrong, that I had a problem, that my friends didn't drink like I did, but I just kept on going as it brought pretty much nothing but positives with little negatives. Skip forward many years to ruined relationships, full blown alcoholism, life out of control,...
It may all seem like just fun and games now, but if you keep it up, you're going to be in for a very bad ride with alcoholism.
It may all seem like just fun and games now, but if you keep it up, you're going to be in for a very bad ride with alcoholism.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
It's so good to have you with us, carmen. Talking things over here at SR really helped me find the courage to change.
I was exactly like Forward12. In my early 20's it was fun and exciting. Things seemed dull if they didn't involve alcohol. I noticed I didn't drink like others - didn't ever want the party to be over. 30 yrs. of that behavior & I found myself drinking daily with my life torn to shreds. What I wouldn't give for a do over. I'm very glad you're here to discuss your situation. You're never alone.
I was exactly like Forward12. In my early 20's it was fun and exciting. Things seemed dull if they didn't involve alcohol. I noticed I didn't drink like others - didn't ever want the party to be over. 30 yrs. of that behavior & I found myself drinking daily with my life torn to shreds. What I wouldn't give for a do over. I'm very glad you're here to discuss your situation. You're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome back Carmen!
You are so smart to stop drinking at 22, I am 45, and have 11 months sober. I wish I had stopped at your age.
There are so many things you can do as a young person that don't involve alcohol. Maybe look into joining a running club, take in some shows, take a class, join the gym, learn to paint... I wish I had done more of these things while young.
You can do his, hope to see you posting more often!
❤️ Delilah
You are so smart to stop drinking at 22, I am 45, and have 11 months sober. I wish I had stopped at your age.
There are so many things you can do as a young person that don't involve alcohol. Maybe look into joining a running club, take in some shows, take a class, join the gym, learn to paint... I wish I had done more of these things while young.
You can do his, hope to see you posting more often!
❤️ Delilah
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