WilliamKTHEN

Hello everyone,

I am the founder and publisher of an online recovery community called Kill the Heroin Epidemic Nationwide. I found this forum because someone joined our website looking for you. But I thought I'd introduce myself by sharing my story. I hope and trust since we are all part of the online recovery community that the administrators will allow this post. In turn, you are welcome to join and post on our popular website community. Below is my story.

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I never expected it to happen to me. Isn’t that what we’ve all told ourselves? But honestly, I was always the straight edged kid. I was against smoking, drinking and drugs of any kind. Even the thought of smoking cigarettes disgusted me, mostly because I hated the smell but also because it was bad for me. Honestly, that hasn’t changed. But how did I get from being the straight laced goody two shoes to a recovering heroin addict. “Recovering” is the key word now, but only a short time ago, I was an active opiate addict – and I was lost at sea, in an abyss of misery, despair and depravity. Only by God’s grace, hard work and dedication have I been brought back to shore. I may have been shipwrecked, but I survived.

Heroin didn’t come into my life by chance. It was by my own depraved choice. I had started by occasionally experimenting with drugs, namely oxycodone (the active ingredient in Percocet). I enjoyed the brief “up” feeling it provided. But before I knew it, I required more and more oxycodone to experience the same feeling. I soon realized that it was costing a small fortune to acquire a feeling that didn’t even satisfy me anymore and before too long, I decided to try heroin. Heroin provided a similar feeling to oxycodone, though it made me more relaxed and tired compared to oxy which made me more hyper.

The craziest part was that I still thought that I would never become addicted…that is until I realized that without the drug I started to feel “funny” and “different”. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but I just knew I didn’t feel normal. It finally dawned on me that I was probably going through some kind of withdrawal. This led me to try street Suboxone – I found someone who sold it on the streets and I used it on the days I didn’t “want” to use heroin. At this time, I wasn’t a full blown addict because when I was, I always wanted to use heroin…and sadly, I always did.

By the time I was completely addicted I used heroin every day. I made excuses for myself, I took money out of savings and I took out cash advances. A few times I tried to go cold turkey or try Suboxone but since I used it too early, it sent me into premature withdrawal which I later learned it could do if you don’t take it after an appropriate amount of waiting time. The physical withdrawal was terrible and lasted for days. And while I conquered it twice, my mental addiction was too strong which led me right back to using. After 2 failed attempts, I recognized I needed help.

This led me to a methadone clinic. I was reluctant at first because the stories I read made me worry that I’d only be replacing one drug with another. Methadone was referred to by some I spoke with as “liquid handcuffs” which I only assumed were because people on it felt enslaved and disempowered. But after only a short time at the methadone clinic, I quickly changed my mind. To me, attending the clinic was the best decision I’ve ever made. Months went by and I was free from heroin. I no longer sought after that “high” that active addicts (like I once was) crave. And after only a few months I already started to taper down. While this isn’t typical for most, I felt like I had a strong handle on my recovery and thus, I felt like it was time to come down.

Today, I am devoted to recovery and I'm determined not to touch heroin, opiates or any drug ever again – well maybe other than Caffeine :-).

Peace and Love,

William