help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: PA
Posts: 45
help
I found out a week ago that my job will be ending Jan 13.
I have bad social anxiety.
I am not handling this right. I have already drank twice this week.
I just need to write somewhere for support.
Because I am not getting any - any where else.
I have never had a lot of friends and it has always made me depressed.
Also, I contacted an ex boyfriend from high school - so this was 15 years ago. He cheated on me with a friend. She set us up. It was totally dumb. I wouldnt even be thinking of that now. But now I just feel empty and like a loser.
I have bad social anxiety.
I am not handling this right. I have already drank twice this week.
I just need to write somewhere for support.
Because I am not getting any - any where else.
I have never had a lot of friends and it has always made me depressed.
Also, I contacted an ex boyfriend from high school - so this was 15 years ago. He cheated on me with a friend. She set us up. It was totally dumb. I wouldnt even be thinking of that now. But now I just feel empty and like a loser.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi, I wanted to welcome you to the forum and say that if you want to quit drinking you are not alone. You can absolutely write here any time for support. It is a crucial part of making sobriety work in my opinion- feeling supported.
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, first and foremost with the loss of your job. Then you add in the social anxiety and these unwelcome thoughts of an ex and it really does sound overwhelming. I am no expert on getting and staying sober but I can say, with 100% certainty, that none of those things on your list will be made better by drinking. None of them. Drinking will only make these, and other things, worse for an alcoholic.
To start I would recommend spending some time exploring the forums, reaching our via written work for support and making back up/emergency employment plans. Where are you physically located (don't share if you don't wish to) that is important for a job search- not to just find available work near you but also knowing which search engines and sites are commonly posted on.
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, first and foremost with the loss of your job. Then you add in the social anxiety and these unwelcome thoughts of an ex and it really does sound overwhelming. I am no expert on getting and staying sober but I can say, with 100% certainty, that none of those things on your list will be made better by drinking. None of them. Drinking will only make these, and other things, worse for an alcoholic.
To start I would recommend spending some time exploring the forums, reaching our via written work for support and making back up/emergency employment plans. Where are you physically located (don't share if you don't wish to) that is important for a job search- not to just find available work near you but also knowing which search engines and sites are commonly posted on.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Welcome,
You are not a loser and it's understandable to be upset at losing your job. Many of us here have social anxiety and hopefully it is something you can manage. Looking for a new job can be a tough road. Is your resume up to date? Will your boss at your present job give you a recommendation? Do you think you can find a job in your field? I remember making lots of lists when I was job-hunting to help calm my mind and make me feel organized. Have faith that you can do this and I hope you continue to read and post.
You are not a loser and it's understandable to be upset at losing your job. Many of us here have social anxiety and hopefully it is something you can manage. Looking for a new job can be a tough road. Is your resume up to date? Will your boss at your present job give you a recommendation? Do you think you can find a job in your field? I remember making lots of lists when I was job-hunting to help calm my mind and make me feel organized. Have faith that you can do this and I hope you continue to read and post.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
hi littlesongbird
i got an apartment by myself after high school and spent 11 years trying to drink myself to death for similar reasons to those you described
i too felt like a loser
you are not alone
i went to aa for help and got a sobriety date
life is much better now
God bless
i got an apartment by myself after high school and spent 11 years trying to drink myself to death for similar reasons to those you described
i too felt like a loser
you are not alone
i went to aa for help and got a sobriety date
life is much better now
God bless
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Songbird (lovely user name by the way). Sounds like the feelings that the news of a job loss triggered the memory of the experience of rejection, betrayal, loss, etc. as a teen. Thing is, you are no longer a teen, and you're correct in saying that you need to find better ways of dealing with this than drinking. Not 'morally ' better. Just ways that work. And you seem to have instinctively recognised that the first step needs to be to move past the booze.
I'm glad you found your way here. There is so much support and good advice available. Have you considered going to AA or similar to get support as well. I know it's easy to feel resentful towards our normie friends and family for not supporting us the way we want or need them to, but you know, it's not their fault. They just don't understand our thinking. No more than I would understand someone asking me directions in Chinese. It wouldn't be that I didn't want to help. Just that I couldn't. But the good news is that there are thousands upon thousands of alcoholics who are sober, with good recovery, who can share their experiences with you. You can reach out here. And you can listen in and chat to people at your local AA group whenever you need it.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
I'm glad you found your way here. There is so much support and good advice available. Have you considered going to AA or similar to get support as well. I know it's easy to feel resentful towards our normie friends and family for not supporting us the way we want or need them to, but you know, it's not their fault. They just don't understand our thinking. No more than I would understand someone asking me directions in Chinese. It wouldn't be that I didn't want to help. Just that I couldn't. But the good news is that there are thousands upon thousands of alcoholics who are sober, with good recovery, who can share their experiences with you. You can reach out here. And you can listen in and chat to people at your local AA group whenever you need it.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Sending a warm welcome as well to
you.
SR has been one of my 'lifelines in
my own recovery/sobriety' and has
been a good source of support as I
continue on my journey.
I learned early on in recovery that
I like so many never have to go thru
anything in life alone again. That
there will always be someone who
has been there, done that same
similar things as I have.
Folks are always sharing about their
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
about situations in life that can be
so helpful and encouraging so that
I never need to reach for alcohol,
a controlled poisonous substance
to fix problems.
I have found many caring, understanding,
knowledgeable folks here in SR that
gently suggest healthier ways to work
on problems that alcohol or drugs cant
fix.
It is important to listen, learn, absorb
and apply all that you can about the
addiction of alcohol or drugs and it's
affects on your own mind, body and
soul.
Once we learn this first which takes
time, then we can venture onto other
part of our life like relationships etc.
If we don't learn how to remain sober
first and foremost then we wont have
anything else. No family, jobs, homes,
money, life.
Relationships are hard enough within
itself and then to tackle a new one when
we are learning and changing in early
recovery is even more difficult because
it affects our emotions, our health and
so on.
None of us are failures or losers. Addiction
is an illness, a sickness that affects us and
those around us. We arm ourselves with
helpful knowledge of this illness, addiction,
then apply healthier ways to avoid ever
relapsing or slipping in recovery/sobriety.
Once you get this information, a recovery
program to incorporate in all areas of your
life, then you will become a more confident,
strong, self assured person from inside to
out.
We learn to take small steps each day
as we continue traveling on our road
of recovery living on a solid recovery
foundation we've built for ourselves
to enjoy each day we move further away
from our addiction.
You are so worth it and appreciated
here amongst many of us here in SR
always learning new healthier ways
to live free from the addiction of alcohol
or drugs.
Stay connected and always ask for
guidance and suggestions to help
you on your own journey in sobriety.
you.
SR has been one of my 'lifelines in
my own recovery/sobriety' and has
been a good source of support as I
continue on my journey.
I learned early on in recovery that
I like so many never have to go thru
anything in life alone again. That
there will always be someone who
has been there, done that same
similar things as I have.
Folks are always sharing about their
ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
about situations in life that can be
so helpful and encouraging so that
I never need to reach for alcohol,
a controlled poisonous substance
to fix problems.
I have found many caring, understanding,
knowledgeable folks here in SR that
gently suggest healthier ways to work
on problems that alcohol or drugs cant
fix.
It is important to listen, learn, absorb
and apply all that you can about the
addiction of alcohol or drugs and it's
affects on your own mind, body and
soul.
Once we learn this first which takes
time, then we can venture onto other
part of our life like relationships etc.
If we don't learn how to remain sober
first and foremost then we wont have
anything else. No family, jobs, homes,
money, life.
Relationships are hard enough within
itself and then to tackle a new one when
we are learning and changing in early
recovery is even more difficult because
it affects our emotions, our health and
so on.
None of us are failures or losers. Addiction
is an illness, a sickness that affects us and
those around us. We arm ourselves with
helpful knowledge of this illness, addiction,
then apply healthier ways to avoid ever
relapsing or slipping in recovery/sobriety.
Once you get this information, a recovery
program to incorporate in all areas of your
life, then you will become a more confident,
strong, self assured person from inside to
out.
We learn to take small steps each day
as we continue traveling on our road
of recovery living on a solid recovery
foundation we've built for ourselves
to enjoy each day we move further away
from our addiction.
You are so worth it and appreciated
here amongst many of us here in SR
always learning new healthier ways
to live free from the addiction of alcohol
or drugs.
Stay connected and always ask for
guidance and suggestions to help
you on your own journey in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,671
I agree (bump?) with AASharon. Another thing I found was (literally)deadly dangerous with drinking is the isolation. Then comes all the crap that goes with that. Reach out anywhere- SR is brilliant. F-F meetings are great too- AA/Smart etc, Having an awareness of a problem is a gift. It means we can actually do something about it. It means trying, trying and trying again. With a little success comes more practical skills- and a little more peace.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome littlesongbird
you'll find lot of support understanding and encouragement here
When I first found SR it was such a relief for me to find people who understood and who didn't look down on me - this site helped me change my lie - I know we can help you too
D
you'll find lot of support understanding and encouragement here
When I first found SR it was such a relief for me to find people who understood and who didn't look down on me - this site helped me change my lie - I know we can help you too
D
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