vendetta

Just posting. Wanting to get married and it has left me sleepless and falling off the wagon. Just need some support. It's amazing to me how far I have come.

Dee74

Welcome back Vendetta

Life is better in a lot of ways? that's great

Hows your recovery going right now - on the wagon again?

D

january161992

hi vendetta

thanks for the nice post

getting married is the best thing ive done in my life after getting a sobriety date and going to aa for help

God bless

entropy1964

Well maybe wait on getting married? I'm no pro but if its drivin ya to drink before the wedding whats it gonna be like in a couple of years?

thomas11

One day at a time Vendetta. Once you get square with yourself, the rest will fall into place. Hang in there.

vendetta

I've been doing great. I've lost control one time in the last few months. But that's still scary. My fiance is a great woman. Very honest with me. I do ask one thing. Recently I have been having this overwhelming feeling of shame and guilt. Its like the memories of all the things I did when drinking pushed on me. Makes me wonder if maybe I should have stuck with the aa plan. Like the 8th step. It's like it came back to haunt me.

vendetta

Good talk

MythOfSisyphus

It's good to see you here, Vendetta!

Dee74

Hi Vendetta - good to hear from you.

I dunno much about step 8 - but my shame and guilt receded more and more into the distance the more I built a meaningful sober life I loved.

Today became more important to me than yesterday.

I hope you'll find the same.

D

Delilah1

Great to see you back Vendetta.

doggonecarl

Stick to whatever plan will keep you sober. Your wife-to-be deserves it.

vendetta

For me it doesn't recede so much. It kinda lingers to the point I'm miserable.

Dee74

It wasn't an overnight process for me either.

It took a little faith that I'd eventually be ok...I'd spent 20 to 30 years getting to the point where I gave up drink and drugs - it took me maybe a year to feel like I was happy, fulfilled and not ashamed.

I think that's a pretty good deal...but yeah, you'll need patience

You'll need perseverance too.

It took some work for me to discover exactly why I was miserable, and then to work out what to do about that without resorting to drinking.

Are you sober now?
D

Gottalife

Same here. Kept me awake. Kept me looking over my shoulder. Constant stress and tension always lead me back to the bottle. I would have walked away if I could, but I had to deal with it to get any peace. That AA thing worked well for me. Step 5 and 9 in particular.