yet again back
yet again back
Been here and watching and also been working. However this time ive gone back to my roots and gave up my job.
I did 1 week of dtox and then on a certain med which made my job be a prob with it. so from last sat i am now without job but with help to help me. They dont know yet i dont have a job and so i am drinking on few days until i can work out myself again how to be at peace with myself, and get support next week.
for people who dont know me i suffer from borderline personality disorder and from past 8 months i have tried to be a robot at the work i was at, but its not helping me and i did what i had to do.
so u say now what? now i work on myself and being sober with hopufully no stresses which as u all know doesnt happen but heck i will do. done it before so can do it again.
also i am back on laptop which ignored and left, so more intuned with working on support group xx
so will see whats happening more and engage more as this forum and place offer so much which again im here for help xx
I did 1 week of dtox and then on a certain med which made my job be a prob with it. so from last sat i am now without job but with help to help me. They dont know yet i dont have a job and so i am drinking on few days until i can work out myself again how to be at peace with myself, and get support next week.
for people who dont know me i suffer from borderline personality disorder and from past 8 months i have tried to be a robot at the work i was at, but its not helping me and i did what i had to do.
so u say now what? now i work on myself and being sober with hopufully no stresses which as u all know doesnt happen but heck i will do. done it before so can do it again.
also i am back on laptop which ignored and left, so more intuned with working on support group xx
so will see whats happening more and engage more as this forum and place offer so much which again im here for help xx
yeah got doc appointment next wed and got my pdoc this fri and then will work without restriction of work and time for everything i can do xx
as u know dee i keep coming back shame it wasnt the year i did give up on drink,however i know i did some time in doing it.
Time is what im loosing my memory is very short and then very difficult to fragment from the past and past week. If u know me is i do have problems explaining myself in what i mean and what i want and how to engage properly with people. I have this mask which is learned and yes past work has made me a robot, but my home and family is i will keep fighting.
i have very much stress point which is my bday next week and on monday is a year since i took OD and im trying to keep going. so sry for bleak input i am still here and fighting xx
as u know dee i keep coming back shame it wasnt the year i did give up on drink,however i know i did some time in doing it.
Time is what im loosing my memory is very short and then very difficult to fragment from the past and past week. If u know me is i do have problems explaining myself in what i mean and what i want and how to engage properly with people. I have this mask which is learned and yes past work has made me a robot, but my home and family is i will keep fighting.
i have very much stress point which is my bday next week and on monday is a year since i took OD and im trying to keep going. so sry for bleak input i am still here and fighting xx
It's great to see you post again, Erratic! At first I didn't recognize you; I tend to memorize people by their avatar pic. I missed that you don't still have the turkey! But it's good to hear you're still working on a plan.
![Grouphug](https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/grouphug.gif)
Glad you're here Erratic.
You've done your detox, so shy drink now? You say you are 'drinking on few days until i can work out myself again how to be at peace with myself'. The thing is, working ourselves out and learning how to be at peace with ourselves is recovery work that we can't do when we're under the influence of alcohol. It doesn't work that way round. We have to stop the alcoholic drinking first, and then we can start to work on the alcoholic thinking. That's why in the 12-step program of AA, the only step that even mentions alcohol is the very first one. Steps 2 through to 12 are about working ourselves out and learning to be at peace (find serenity).
Anyway. I'm glad you found your way here for support. I hope you find the strength to ditch the booze soon so that you can embark on your journey to recovery.
Wishing you all the best. BB
You've done your detox, so shy drink now? You say you are 'drinking on few days until i can work out myself again how to be at peace with myself'. The thing is, working ourselves out and learning how to be at peace with ourselves is recovery work that we can't do when we're under the influence of alcohol. It doesn't work that way round. We have to stop the alcoholic drinking first, and then we can start to work on the alcoholic thinking. That's why in the 12-step program of AA, the only step that even mentions alcohol is the very first one. Steps 2 through to 12 are about working ourselves out and learning to be at peace (find serenity).
Anyway. I'm glad you found your way here for support. I hope you find the strength to ditch the booze soon so that you can embark on your journey to recovery.
Wishing you all the best. BB
Thanks guys, bean yeah i know about AA and it actually did help me in the first long term i gave up drinking. however yes it says only about drink but they dont understand about mental health illness.
I will carry on and i will prob go back to AA but i will also go with the place who is helping just now also.
Thanks for everyones help as usual and good to see some people i recognise. gee its been along time.
hugs to all xx
I will carry on and i will prob go back to AA but i will also go with the place who is helping just now also.
Thanks for everyones help as usual and good to see some people i recognise. gee its been along time.
hugs to all xx
Thanks guys, bean yeah i know about AA and it actually did help me in the first long term i gave up drinking. however yes it says only about drink but they dont understand about mental health illness.
I will carry on and i will prob go back to AA but i will also go with the place who is helping just now also.
Thanks for everyones help as usual and good to see some people i recognise. gee its been along time.
hugs to all xx
I will carry on and i will prob go back to AA but i will also go with the place who is helping just now also.
Thanks for everyones help as usual and good to see some people i recognise. gee its been along time.
hugs to all xx
I also found "focused" meetings such as Big Book studies, 12 and 12, and Daily Reflections don't have much room for mental health zealots to spout their nonsense.
Don't forget other programs such as SMART Recovery (which is actually based on a school of therapy founded by Albert Ellis), LifeRing and SOS also have meetings. They are more secular in nature. By secular I mean the form of the program itself. SMART also has live meetings in their chat room to help learn the tools.
Welcome back
Thanks shock x i have a friend who is doing smart meetings. I haven't found one in my area yet but am still looking into it.
Like i said i think i may go back to 2 AA meeting where i was comfortable and also got my sponsor from also. They are on a tues and fri evening its just me plucking up the courage also to go xx haven't been to them for many years.
I spoke to my alcohol councillor who i haven't seen since my dtox but he has been bz and i have been seeing the specialised doctor instead which he said will get her to phone me next week and get me started back on beclofan which will help a lot.
Its all about timing and build up to make me mentally prepared for giving up x which i know a lot of people know what its like xx
Like i said i think i may go back to 2 AA meeting where i was comfortable and also got my sponsor from also. They are on a tues and fri evening its just me plucking up the courage also to go xx haven't been to them for many years.
I spoke to my alcohol councillor who i haven't seen since my dtox but he has been bz and i have been seeing the specialised doctor instead which he said will get her to phone me next week and get me started back on beclofan which will help a lot.
Its all about timing and build up to make me mentally prepared for giving up x which i know a lot of people know what its like xx
thanks dee and anna, i have to alcohol doc tomo so am working on a date. she told me tues she didnt want me to give up completly even though its i say 2 weeks i have been driking hard for me. but i also know its been 4 weeks since i gave up work and then 2 weeks or so since my dtox. so gee time has gone so quickly.
so i will be seeing her tomo and will work out what to do. thanks again for caring its just getting again there xx
so i will be seeing her tomo and will work out what to do. thanks again for caring its just getting again there xx
E- if there is any person who goes to AA meetings without a mental health issue/s I have not found them yet. If AA worked for you- it is another piece in the puzzle filled in. I find AA does not the answer to all my life issues- it is there to support and listen to me. Stories. PJ
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)