FreedomCA

I tried to moderate but was unsuccessful, as I became obsessed and consumed with when, where, how, how much, etc. I would drink next. Even if I could moderate one night at 3 glasses of wine, the obsession would set in again, and I would wake up the next day thinking about when I can drink next. This would now become my obsession, and I would obviously lose focus on the world and other people around me. And eventually I would not moderate, get drunk, and do something stupid that could send me to a jail, institution or death, or do something majorly wrong that I wish I was dead because I did not want to face the atrocious thing I ended up doing when drunk.

Treerat66

Due to my family circumstances, my drinking was moderated for about 13 years. My family thought they were giving me treat!
So did I but after one bottle of beer the evil AV would be released, 'How can they stop at one?' 'They're bad hosts, my glass is empty. They should fill it up.' 'What a bad celebration only one drink.'
And the greatest torture - we bought you two bottles of beer which one(!) would you like?

Moderation will lead back to full on drinking.

MrPL

I have seen a lot of people who can drink in moderation, but absolutely no one who used it as a solution for a drinking problem.

When the first drink is in for me that's it, I have instantly committed to the same cycle again and though it may work for a while I am guaranteed to be at rock bottom in a few months.

P

Mountainmanbob

Millions and millions and many millions have done it and do it.
Depends on what one wishes from their life ??
True drunks have tasted much of what they don't want.
M-Bob

LadyBlue0527

Moderation does not work. Whatever led you to quit this time will be worse every time you decide to pick up again. You may get away with it for a while but every time you drink you roll the dice. Anything can, and will, happen.

Every time you pick up you separate yourself from the freedom of realizing what life really is all about.

The most important thing is acceptance. Once you remove the possibility of drinking from your brain the easier it is. You'll find that the less you accept the fact that you can't drink the more the AV will play with you and the more unhappy you'll be.

For a person who has a true problem with alcohol, moderation is just a way of killing time until the next disaster strikes. Believe me, it will happen.

Set yourself free and give up on the idea. Start working on a recovery plan. This is the best way to expedite getting to the point where you actually are enjoying life.

Jack465

If you are an alcoholic like most of us here, it will never work.

MissPerfumado

I wouldn't even count my feeble efforts to moderate my drinking as real attempts. They never lasted more than a day or two. Three glasses of wine in a night would only leave me feeling desperate. I mean, as if I could ever stop at 3 glasses of wine after I'd had those 3 glasses in me!

The whole idea of moderating my drinking is beyond madness for me to even consider.

Irishish

I am reminded of a story in the big book. She said "When I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it and when I enjoyed it I couldn't control it. "

tomsteve

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

FreeOwl

Pure gold.

Maudcat

Like many who have posted before me, moderating my alcohol intake was much harder than just stopping altogether. My life is simpler now, and I like it that way. Yes, there is a lot of drinking going on out there, but a lot of people don't drink., too. I have found that, at my age, (64) many in my circle have given up their drug of choice for various reasons.: medical, mental, physical, etc. something good about getting old. Who knew? Good luck. Peace.

soberclover

I was sober 13 years and started drinking because I felt "normal" again. I spent the next 8 years desperately trying to control my drinking. I can't even begin to describe the destruction that I left as a trail as I tried to moderate...also known as control...my drinking. Didn't work.

I've been sober now almost 4 years. My life is soooo much better. And there are hundreds and hundreds of people like me who don't drink here in little ol' Vermont. There are literally millions of non-drinkers out there in the wider world. And they are the most amazing, creative, and real people I've ever met.

EndGameNYC

One person out of I-don't-know-how-many thousands of people here, and probably someone who hasn't checked in for awhile.

When we make up our minds about something we're unsure of, we go to great lengths to unearth anything that even vaguely resembles evidence in support of our decisions.

thomas11

Just my 2 cents, but if you are an alcoholic, moderation is futile. People who can moderate don't search out alcoholic forums on the internet. We search them out because we know we are not drinking normally.

August252015

And we have our best friend Google to help with that confirmation seeking. How many of us took one of those "Are You An Alcoholic?" quizzes and said something like, "I just have three or four of those 'yeses', I'm cool"?? Until we were LYING about our answers and every single one was true? Hmm, I did.

I swear on everything I hold dear- which is a hell of a lot these days- that there is not One. Single. Thing. that isn't better now that I am sober. The freedom of worrying about if, when, how, etc of drinking is astonishingly powerful. Setting down that cross is the best decision I ever made.

Jim1958

All I can say is in my own personal experience moderation did not work. If I drank one, it would feel good, two was better, the next thing I knew I was drunk and wanting more. I would more or less drink until I passed out. The next day the hangover was head splitting and the cure was to drink again. It was a horrible roller coaster.

biminiblue

What would be the point of moderation? There is no buzz for me in one drink or two...and I drank for the buzz. Then once that warm feeling arrived, I had to (of course) drink a little more to keep it going. If I was out, that meant drinking until the night was through. If I was home, that meant drinking until I couldn't stay awake.

The insidious thing about it is that I could moderate - sometimes - until one day I couldn't. My body didn't send me a postcard saying, "Hey. Tonight you will cross that invisible line between being able to moderate and full-blown addiction."

It just happened. I hope to God you never have that experience. It is exceedingly difficult to recover from the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual damage. Some people don't make it. You know this thing will kill you, right? ...and in some pretty horrific ways.

Bishop32

I have tried "moderation" for too long now. I am ready to be completely sober. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. My husband drinks and he can stop himself after one cocktail. Not me. I have to have the whole bottle if I have that first one. I just signed up to this site today- I know I am going to need all of the help that I can. It's 11:30 AM and I'm already anxious knowing I'm not going to drink today. Or will I? I do not want to! I have this rule where I do not drink androp until 5pm. I hope I am just as motivated in 5.5 hours as I am right now. (Sitting here hungover as hell) Any tips to help me not have that first drink tonight?

Bunny211

Nope. I was going to moderate or DIE TRYING. I almost died. I finally threw in the towel.

biminiblue

Hey, Bishop.

There's only one thing you have to do. Don't put alcohol in your mouth. Don't pick up that first drink.

For me, I had to change up my routine. Since you are an evening drinker, how about taking a long walk instead? Or there's always an evening meeting or a movie or walking around the shopping mall, or cleaning out a closet.

Distraction and staying busy helped me a lot. I also spent a lot of time on this site in early days, reading and learning and posting. I posted daily in my Class of March thread. You might want to join in on one of the regular support threads here, like the Class of October 2016, or 24 Hour commitment threads. Here: links:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-173-a.html