Back to work, alcoholic comments?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 341
Back to work, alcoholic comments?
Hi all. I am still sober, still with the broken ankle.
My employer found they could not fire me and I am there but not permanently.
However, I don't like the stares and comments. Some people are very nice and others scoff when they see my big cast.
One girl I do not know is brand new. She asked what I did and I told her I broke my leg and ankle. Her exact words were "How drunk were you?"
This was said in front of others. I was not drunk when I fell and was actually working with a broken ankle which led to another fall.
I ignored this, but others have insinuated the same. I saw someone I hadn't seen for months last Friday and he said "what haopened too much boozin?".
I don't know why I am so insulted by this. Are people not allowed to fall while sober? Is this my reputation at this company?
We have had many meetings and dinners with open bar. I never once drank there. I never went out with "the gang" after work.
How to address these comments?
My employer found they could not fire me and I am there but not permanently.
However, I don't like the stares and comments. Some people are very nice and others scoff when they see my big cast.
One girl I do not know is brand new. She asked what I did and I told her I broke my leg and ankle. Her exact words were "How drunk were you?"
This was said in front of others. I was not drunk when I fell and was actually working with a broken ankle which led to another fall.
I ignored this, but others have insinuated the same. I saw someone I hadn't seen for months last Friday and he said "what haopened too much boozin?".
I don't know why I am so insulted by this. Are people not allowed to fall while sober? Is this my reputation at this company?
We have had many meetings and dinners with open bar. I never once drank there. I never went out with "the gang" after work.
How to address these comments?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Freedom USA
Posts: 73
First, I hope that you heal quickly, it must be difficult getting around with a broken leg and ankle.
Personally, I would feel insulted by those comments too. Some people have zero social graces.
Try not to let it get you down, even though I know that's not easy.
You know the truth and that's all that matters.
Personally, I would feel insulted by those comments too. Some people have zero social graces.
Try not to let it get you down, even though I know that's not easy.
You know the truth and that's all that matters.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
With the truth. "I was completely sober when I fell." "No, I don't drink."
They might be being insolent and bad-mannered, or you might be being a bit sensitive to such comments. Or it might be somewhere in between. I do find that talk about booze is everywhere and the vast majority of it is generalised and not directed at me or my former boozing ways.
You've been through a lot, bbe. I'm glad your ankle is healing. Stick with the nice folk. The ones with some manners.
All the best to you.
They might be being insolent and bad-mannered, or you might be being a bit sensitive to such comments. Or it might be somewhere in between. I do find that talk about booze is everywhere and the vast majority of it is generalised and not directed at me or my former boozing ways.
You've been through a lot, bbe. I'm glad your ankle is healing. Stick with the nice folk. The ones with some manners.
All the best to you.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
i relate sort of
when i was a year sober i got thrown into a locked psych ward
human resources hr leaked the gossip so when i got back to work everyone knew
yes there was some teasing involved from coworkers
i was so grateful to still be sober and to be working the steps with my sponsor and to be of service .....
after a very short while the kidding/ joking just stopped and everything went back to normal
when i was a year sober i got thrown into a locked psych ward
human resources hr leaked the gossip so when i got back to work everyone knew
yes there was some teasing involved from coworkers
i was so grateful to still be sober and to be working the steps with my sponsor and to be of service .....
after a very short while the kidding/ joking just stopped and everything went back to normal
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 61
Hi, behindblueeyes! Congrats on staying sober. 
I think drinking culture is so rampant in society these days that people usually don't mean anything by these comments. I remember instances at work when someone would say they were tired and the usual response was 'Out late last night?'/'Too much partying?' and that kind of thing. These comments would be meant innocuously and not at all suggesting that the recipient was a problem drinker. You're highly tuned to this sort of thing because of your own experiences, so hearing them sticks with you more than it would to a 'normal' drinker.
I would just laugh off the comments, and if you feel the need, just politely correct them saying 'Actually, I was stone cold sober'. I'm sure people don't mean anything by it, sadly it's just a standard response these days. I saw a post on Facebook recently where someone in my timeline had broken her ankle and ALL the comments were jokey references to being drunk etc. It's an attempt at humour and making conversation, rather than an insult. Don't let it bring you down. I hope your leg is healing well!
I think drinking culture is so rampant in society these days that people usually don't mean anything by these comments. I remember instances at work when someone would say they were tired and the usual response was 'Out late last night?'/'Too much partying?' and that kind of thing. These comments would be meant innocuously and not at all suggesting that the recipient was a problem drinker. You're highly tuned to this sort of thing because of your own experiences, so hearing them sticks with you more than it would to a 'normal' drinker.
I would just laugh off the comments, and if you feel the need, just politely correct them saying 'Actually, I was stone cold sober'. I'm sure people don't mean anything by it, sadly it's just a standard response these days. I saw a post on Facebook recently where someone in my timeline had broken her ankle and ALL the comments were jokey references to being drunk etc. It's an attempt at humour and making conversation, rather than an insult. Don't let it bring you down. I hope your leg is healing well!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 94
Behind blue,
Unfortunately many people have no edit function on their mouths or brains.
My husband taught me a cool trick - when someone asks a rude or inappropriate question, with a straight face say, "Why do you ask that? (or) "What do you mean by that?"
Very few want to answer those questions.
Works almost every time.
Unfortunately many people have no edit function on their mouths or brains.
My husband taught me a cool trick - when someone asks a rude or inappropriate question, with a straight face say, "Why do you ask that? (or) "What do you mean by that?"
Very few want to answer those questions.
Works almost every time.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I'm sorry that you are going through this. I don't know how people have decided it's okay to talk to you like this, and I'm sure it feels miserable. My suggestion would be to tell them once that you were sober and then ignore it, hold you head high and carry on. I hope you heal quickly.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I'm with Miss P on it.
I'd bet that the drinking comments are more a reflection on them and their current drinking habits than they are on your old ones. People generally aren't so interested to be honest. And they don't necessarily even thing that being drunk would be such a bad thing, because they're not alcoholics in recovery. It's only to us that it would be terrible.
I'd bet that the drinking comments are more a reflection on them and their current drinking habits than they are on your old ones. People generally aren't so interested to be honest. And they don't necessarily even thing that being drunk would be such a bad thing, because they're not alcoholics in recovery. It's only to us that it would be terrible.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 483
Ok...I'm gonna type slow and really really try hard not to curse. But here comes a little rant cause this stuff bothers me. First off dont f##$ing ever let anybody look down on you or talk smack to you about being in recovery. Everybody has some sort of demon they are dealing with. There aint no saints left in this world. Alcoholism and addiction is Our problem that we deal with. I have seen the worse of humanity and things humans have done to other humans stone sober that haunt me at night when I try to sleep. I'm gonna stop on this part there. I have like many others on here been through some things. Been shot, been stabbed, hit by three different vehicles other stories I can't tell and things I cant talk about. The hardest things I ever did was stop and stay stopped from picking the bottle up. I helped a kid stop drinking a while back and dammit I'm proud of him. More than I can say. The one thing I told him before he quit was quitting and staying off of it would show you exactly what your made of. Try telling somebody who has never went through withdrawl what it's like stopping yourself from taking something your body craves and your sick without. **** most people pop a damn advil the minute they feel a twinge of headache but will look with judgement on somebody buying beer in the morning with hand tremors from not having it. And it makes me irate. I have more respect for somebody who beat an addiction than anyone who has never done it. Next time anybody makes some little snarky comment or says anything just please keep in the back of your mind the person that said the crap couldn't of made it through what you did.Rant over. Butcher out
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 501
Originally Posted by Berrybean 
And they don't necessarily even thing that being drunk would be such a bad thing, because they're not alcoholics in recovery. It's only to us that it would be terrible.
Someone I work with once casually described herself as "an alcoholic" almost as if it was a good thing. She wouldn't say that if she actually was one.
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