Dim

Hey guys....

Almost 4 weeks sober and finally had a chat to my partner last night for the first time since my last binge. She's not gone yet but really let me have it talking about not wanting a future with an alcoholic, someone that can't hold a job down, worries about a future and having children woth someone so unpredictable etc etc... she's absolutely right with everything she's saying and I gave her every commitment that I would beat it which she said I guess we'll see what happens.... I should be stoked that she's still talking to me but my ego has taken a massive blow and today I feel like absolute rat s $#t. Being a normally confident person it's shattering to be feeling like this. I know i'm completely responsible for putting myself in this position and i'm the only one that can fix it. And i will. Sorry for the long post.
Needed a little vent.
Lots of love x

Anna

Dim, it's tough to really look at things isn't it! It was so hard for me to accept that I wasn't the person I thought I was. I had to work on building myself up and finding things to do that would support my recovery. Of course, it's hard to listen to what your partner said to you, but you have a chance to stop drinking and to be the person you want to be.

sobermax

Hey Dim,

Sounds like a leap forward to me!

My wife somehow stayed with me although I know she was on the verge of leaving many times. Now, she says it is because she knew deep down that I wanted to stop. Still took some time but now we are better than ever.

Humble pie was on the table a lot for about a year. The pie was earned and was better than no pie.

Do what you must mate!

Max

firstymer

Dim, you are 4 weeks sober, and that is fantastic. True, you put yourself in a difficult position with your partner. But you aren't just talking the talk, like all of us have done a million times with our partner. You are walking the walk. You have stayed sober for 4 weeks.

Our loved ones don't believe most of what we say, especially when it comes to our drinking. But they do watch what we do. And your partner is watching what you do too. So, stay on the sober path, no matter what it takes. It sounds like your partner is keeping the door open a crack to see what you do.

And try not to be so hard on yourself. You are doing great. Keep it up.

TulsaGentleman

She might try alanon. It will help her understand what you are dealing with and how she can help you. Stay with this thing. Life is better sober.

thomas11

I can empathize with your feelings, I don't blame you. But you are are the right track and going strong. Try not to let it derail you too much. Tomorrow is another day. When all is said and done, your sobriety is for you....and no one else. Good job.

Dim

Thanks for the replies guys. I think of all my relapses this one has bruised my ego the most and i'm more determined than ever to prove who i really am to everyone especially myself.. no more games. This needs to be the end.

Love you guys x

RedAndy

I told myself the exact same thing Dim with no more games.......well nearly, I didn't say "needs to be the end" as that left the door slightly ajar I said "this is the end" and no matter how tough it gets that is something I will not let myself and my wife down on, I got another chance too when there really shouldn't have been anymore - always been a bit stupid when things are staring me in the face and worry about the consequences later but I knew my life was going to take a massive turn for the worst unless I sorted it out and stuck to it no matter what.

Keep goin mate and put everything you've got into it, it's most certainly the best thing we can ever do for ourselves and our loved ones.

tomsteve

getting my ego crushed was the the greatest thing to happen to me. it lead to humility which led to teachability which led to me seeing I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex that I hid by excelling in everything I did and acting like I had it all together.
which led to finding out who I truly am and becoming a better man.