Is it worth a try?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Is it worth a try?
Have been binge drinking for maybe 20 years. Tried lots of times to stop on my own..and just can't keep it up. Have been referred to a recovery program. They have an outpatient rehab. But it is 12 step.
I have no problem with the God thing. But I'm a bit worried I'll end up brainwashed and talking in slogans.
Is it possible to still stay an individual while attending 12 step meetings?
Thanks to growing up with a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, I don't like the idea of being "swamped" by other people or groups.
But, as this is the only treatment on offer, I don't have much choice, but the fear of being "overtaken" is putting me off.
Do people who belong to AA feel like they have been brainwashed?
I have no problem with the God thing. But I'm a bit worried I'll end up brainwashed and talking in slogans.
Is it possible to still stay an individual while attending 12 step meetings?
Thanks to growing up with a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, I don't like the idea of being "swamped" by other people or groups.
But, as this is the only treatment on offer, I don't have much choice, but the fear of being "overtaken" is putting me off.
Do people who belong to AA feel like they have been brainwashed?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Hi Sainos
it's certainly worth getting sober - I drank for 20 years too and my life is incredibly different and better now I'm sober.
I'm not in AA but I know lots of people who are and I wouldn't call any of them brainwashed....they're intelligent folks who don't mind a rigorous exchange of views
They don't lock the doors at meetings either - you'll be fine!
D
it's certainly worth getting sober - I drank for 20 years too and my life is incredibly different and better now I'm sober.
I'm not in AA but I know lots of people who are and I wouldn't call any of them brainwashed....they're intelligent folks who don't mind a rigorous exchange of views
They don't lock the doors at meetings either - you'll be fine!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Thank you for taking the time to reply Dee. I don't know what I am so scared of going for. Never getting out of this drinking scares me more than anything else. And I can't do it alone. I know some people can, but I can't, I have failed too many times.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
I use the 12 Steps every day as a means to keep my 'brain' washed clean of the resentments, anger, fear, hostile reactions to others, bad habits of being overly critical of others, flipping 'idiots' off on the highway, arguing with my wife to put her down, kicking my dog, kicking other peoples dogs, getting DUI's, making a fool of myself when black-out drunk (or just plain drunk), and to keep FREE of the obsession and cravings.
I now consider myself a unique individual, involved in a program with many others that I admire and respect, and I actually enjoy my life much more now that everything I do is not CONTROLLED by my NEED to drink.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... to be ME ... and to have relationships and friendships that are not clouded by my drinking.
I now consider myself a unique individual, involved in a program with many others that I admire and respect, and I actually enjoy my life much more now that everything I do is not CONTROLLED by my NEED to drink.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... to be ME ... and to have relationships and friendships that are not clouded by my drinking.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Good morning and welcome-
Brainwashed? Maybe, by someone who considers my dedication to my faith, a recovery program and ALL its tenets, and a life that continually focuses on growth, self-betterment, acceptance and love. Because that's not how a lot of people try to live. But am I actually brainwashed? Nope, I have just found a better way of living, for me. I would wish my life of recovery on every soul on this planet.
AA is my bedrock. I went into it kicking, screaming, pissed off, you name it. It was my last resort and it has saved my life. It has saved my life because it got me to turn my life over to God (a Christian God as I understand Him) and have a simple plan for living, that keeps growing and getting more sophisticated the more I learn and grow.
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. Sounds like you have that. Now would be the perfect time to give AA a try. I would suggest a commitment to it- the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) that many suggest (or even 30/30 if 90 is daunting) and making this a primary habit right now; perhaps try different meetings til you find one that you are most comfortable in, as they do vary in format, attendance, etc. You can always change your program later if AA is not for you, but give it a shot- the main point is not to drink at this time, and a program that is waiting for your participation is a simple way to get started.
Good luck.
Brainwashed? Maybe, by someone who considers my dedication to my faith, a recovery program and ALL its tenets, and a life that continually focuses on growth, self-betterment, acceptance and love. Because that's not how a lot of people try to live. But am I actually brainwashed? Nope, I have just found a better way of living, for me. I would wish my life of recovery on every soul on this planet.
AA is my bedrock. I went into it kicking, screaming, pissed off, you name it. It was my last resort and it has saved my life. It has saved my life because it got me to turn my life over to God (a Christian God as I understand Him) and have a simple plan for living, that keeps growing and getting more sophisticated the more I learn and grow.
The only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. Sounds like you have that. Now would be the perfect time to give AA a try. I would suggest a commitment to it- the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) that many suggest (or even 30/30 if 90 is daunting) and making this a primary habit right now; perhaps try different meetings til you find one that you are most comfortable in, as they do vary in format, attendance, etc. You can always change your program later if AA is not for you, but give it a shot- the main point is not to drink at this time, and a program that is waiting for your participation is a simple way to get started.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
If you are unable to remain sober on your own, I think any program is a step in the right direction. Take the pieces that suit you, and leave the rest. Its worth it as it may save your health and your life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I don't feel like I've been brainwashed. The slogans are def helpful at times though. When my AV kicks up or I'm entrenched in a ridiculous resentment, or fear is taking over my thinking, often I'll recall a slogan that helps me turn that day around and get back on program. And as irritating as I initially found people saying slogans (when I didn't really get the full meaning behind them to be honest), now I've been working the program a while, one slogan can remind me of a whole big wave of learning that I've done. It's not only my recovery that slogans help me out in to be honest. Maybe I've got a rubbish memory, but I find slogans and sayings helpful for all kinds of things, so remembering recipes, keeping me driving safely, remembering spellings, etc.
Alcohol and addictive behaviour had me more puppet like than the 12-step program has. But I used to believe that that behaviour made me fun and interesting and a bit special and different, even though I also carried a lot of shame for many of the ways I acted, thought and behaved. I remember being worried that when all that shopped I'd kind of dissappear. Like the hole in a polo mint. Thing is, we are not the sum of what we do. We are a lot more than that. Just I never even knew who I was before, because I was too busy focussing on my Outside (projecting and building up my persona) to pay much heed to my insides.
If AA brainwashed people then we wouldn't get people making the choice to go back out. But the fact that people do make that choice is a sad testimony of the fact that it is not brainwashing. People choose to carry on going and working the program because they've learned that it works for them. Hopefully you will be one of those that it works for and those promises can start coming true for you as well. (Something I never really believed would be possible for me, but it happened).
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Alcohol and addictive behaviour had me more puppet like than the 12-step program has. But I used to believe that that behaviour made me fun and interesting and a bit special and different, even though I also carried a lot of shame for many of the ways I acted, thought and behaved. I remember being worried that when all that shopped I'd kind of dissappear. Like the hole in a polo mint. Thing is, we are not the sum of what we do. We are a lot more than that. Just I never even knew who I was before, because I was too busy focussing on my Outside (projecting and building up my persona) to pay much heed to my insides.
If AA brainwashed people then we wouldn't get people making the choice to go back out. But the fact that people do make that choice is a sad testimony of the fact that it is not brainwashing. People choose to carry on going and working the program because they've learned that it works for them. Hopefully you will be one of those that it works for and those promises can start coming true for you as well. (Something I never really believed would be possible for me, but it happened).
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Sainos
I used to think as you did....13 years ago. I didn't want AA to 'take over' my life.
I however seemed very willing to let alcohol take over my life. Becoming an avid member of alcoholism...letting it consume me, wreak havoc.
My objections to AA were really just objections to recovery. I know that now.
I used to think as you did....13 years ago. I didn't want AA to 'take over' my life.
I however seemed very willing to let alcohol take over my life. Becoming an avid member of alcoholism...letting it consume me, wreak havoc.
My objections to AA were really just objections to recovery. I know that now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Thank you all for your replies. And yes, you all make valid points. I don't think anything can control me as much as my drinking does. When I think about it, I am not "myself" while I am being controlled by my drinking, nothing can make you lose yourself as much as drinking can. And after all I have just read about how AA has helped you find yourselves, and how you all sound so happy now, I have less reservations
Thank you again!
Thank you again!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by sainos 
So true MIRecovery. I may be discounting the one thing that could help, before Ive even tried it.
AA saved my life and continues to be the cornerstone of my recovery seven years later. If this brain washing then my brain needed a good scrubbing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 162
Seven years? Thats impressive, I can hardly string seven days together on my own. I find it so lonely. I am being ridiculous over this I think. No life can be worse than the one I have drinking. At the moment I don't even have a "self" to lose. But maybe one to gain
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
I attended AA a few years back and got 2 years sober . I wasn't in AA for the full 2 years but when I was I found it to be very helpful in many ways . It got me off my butt out the house and out my head , I met good people ( also some not so good but thats the same as any area in life ) . I still utilise some of the slogans .
Keep it simple
Easy does it
A day at a time
I have to keep reminding myself of those when I find myself struggling such as right now after my holiday I feel down in the dumps then I catch myself thinking too much so I slow down and get back to basics .
I am a christian anyway so I could accept the concept of a higher power , something just clicks , I found the connection , I wanted it so much .
I never felt brainwashed or pressured but did eventually stop going ( my sponsor was not good for me ) ,looking back I should have dealt with him personally instead of not going back .
In my opinion AA is what you make it . The meetings also vary from place to place so if one isn't comfortable try another .
Good luck
Keep it simple
Easy does it
A day at a time
I have to keep reminding myself of those when I find myself struggling such as right now after my holiday I feel down in the dumps then I catch myself thinking too much so I slow down and get back to basics .
I am a christian anyway so I could accept the concept of a higher power , something just clicks , I found the connection , I wanted it so much .
I never felt brainwashed or pressured but did eventually stop going ( my sponsor was not good for me ) ,looking back I should have dealt with him personally instead of not going back .
In my opinion AA is what you make it . The meetings also vary from place to place so if one isn't comfortable try another .
Good luck
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Sainos,
Addiction is why you have trouble getting past 7 days. It is not magical, it is science.
Drinking booze is learned, it can be unlearned
At 7 days, you are not really over the physical addiction. That is when the mental shows through.
AA offers a way to learn to be clean. It starts out pretty mysterious. A leap of faith almost.
I was over 100 days clean before i hit a meeting.
SR is really all i have used. SR saved my life, not AA.
I read a post a few times a day.
I get and give help. It helps w the mental aspect of addiction.
I believe in God and thank Him every morning i am sober.
I crave daily. I play the tape and remember the weak, horrid state i was in 17 months ago.
AA works and if you can't stay sober on your own, get to a meeting. Get a sponser. Read the BB. It will fill your day. It is better than boozing.
If you have some ability to stay clean w out AA now, continued education here, and via Google, will make what you are dealing w mentally easier.
It gets better w ea. Clean moment.
Addiction is why you have trouble getting past 7 days. It is not magical, it is science.
Drinking booze is learned, it can be unlearned
At 7 days, you are not really over the physical addiction. That is when the mental shows through.
AA offers a way to learn to be clean. It starts out pretty mysterious. A leap of faith almost.
I was over 100 days clean before i hit a meeting.
SR is really all i have used. SR saved my life, not AA.
I read a post a few times a day.
I get and give help. It helps w the mental aspect of addiction.
I believe in God and thank Him every morning i am sober.
I crave daily. I play the tape and remember the weak, horrid state i was in 17 months ago.
AA works and if you can't stay sober on your own, get to a meeting. Get a sponser. Read the BB. It will fill your day. It is better than boozing.
If you have some ability to stay clean w out AA now, continued education here, and via Google, will make what you are dealing w mentally easier.
It gets better w ea. Clean moment.
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